30 days today
 

Day 30 of sobriety. Unfortunately, I am having a difficult moment. Actually, it has been a difficult 24 hours. I only say moment because I hope the obsession will stop asap. I'm out by the pool. Beautiful sunny day. Just can't stop thinking about alcohol, both the good times and the bad. I know how much better off I am now. But drinking was habitual for so much of my life that it seems weird without it. I want to just enjoy the silence but today I can't. My AV won't shut up and let me enjoy my Sunday. I am just going to post this now because every time I go to post something, I delete it instead.

Hey Val
Congrats on 30 days. That is great.

I relate to how you feel. I was sitting outside in the yard, breeze, the sun, looking up at the trees. I didn't have a craving. I actually realized that if I had been drinking, I would probably be inside, holed up, being drunk. Maybe the first few drinks would have been in the sun...but the next few days (if I didn't manage to stop) would be hell, ending with detox. That's my reality. Sometimes it helps me to remember that. I know the longer I'm sober the more natural it becomes.

Hang in there.

Think about how much better tomorrow morning will be. Congrats on 30 days...that is no easy task.

Congratulations on 30 days Val! Really play it forward as to how the day/week will turn out if you were to drink. You can do this & no regrets tomorrow. You are not alone in this!

Hey ValThistle, congratulations on 30 days -- that's huge! And good for you for posting. It does get easier.

when my thoughts get stuck in a rut, I find it helps to change up my activity somehow. Posting is a good start. Also things like taking a walk, calling a sober friend, tackling a little project, helping a friend with a chore. You can get through this if you remember that those drinking thoughts are just thoughts, they will pass, and they can't "make" you drink.

30 days is HUGE, so congratulations. But I will let you in on a little-known secret: most of us still miss drinking at 30 days. But the romanticizing of drinking WILL abate, I promise. I am on day 118 and I can tell you that I went to a party last night and you could not have given me ANYTHING to take a drink.....do as other bright people have said above my post and play it through. Do you REALLY want to wake up tomorrow and start over at day 1. It is the WORST feeling EVER.
Stay strong and stay close. You are VERY smart and BRAVE for being able to post here, and that takes someone with internal insight.
Best,
Lee

Congratulations on day 30 that is wonderful. As others have said do something different to occupy ur mind. Get u a nice sparkling water and enjoy that u can actually enjoy the weather. I know when I was drinking I rarely went outside and when I did I didn't enjoy it or remember most of it. So sad. Stay strong!

Congrats on day 30! Make sure you're drinking plenty of water while you're sitting by the pool. Hunger and thirst are easy triggers to fix, but also easy to miss.

ValThistle, congratulations on 30 days!

I get you, that pool time can be touchy.

I don't know if this helps but this is what I used to do. Instead of thinking of my AV as a sweet, nagging voice whispering in my ear and making me want to drink I gave it a different visual. I thought of it as a force that was trying to make me do something I really didn't want to do. In other words it was being really snarky and laughing that it was going to get me to do it. I visualized it as saying "You'll do it LadyBlue, I know you're weak, I'm stronger than you and watch, I can MAKE you do something you don't want to do". (insert evil laugh after the line)

Man did I have a fight with it then. I snarled back at it and told it to shut the h&% up and get away from me. I told it to stop interrupting my pool time. After a bit it realized it had been defeated and sulked off and I WON.

Sounds a little crazy I'm sure but hey, it worked for me.

30 days is amazing Val

Congratulations Val on 30 :)

Thanks everyone for your support. I made it through poolside without booze. Going to take my best sober friend out to dinner....my 6 year old son.

Congrats to 30 days Val. Please don't drink!

Today is my 31st day and I can tell you it feels great, I wouldn't want you to miss that feeling. I'm proud of my 31 days and I want you to be proud of 31 days tomorrow. PLEASE DON'T DRINK.

Sending you (((Val))) and strength, You can do this Val.

Congrats on 30 days! Enjoy dinner with your little man!

30 days!! Keep going!

Congrats!