Day One
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Midwest
Posts: 21
Day One
This is a scary step for me. I've taken it before and fallen down. But today I blew off two separate get-togethers with friends because I'm so hungover, and this just has to stop. Last night I drank a bottle of wine, and a little more. This is not unusual for me. Once I open that bottle, I keep drinking until it's gone. There have even been times I've gotten in my car after several glasses of wine to go get more. I'm not a young person - I'm 66, and I know that if I keep drinking the way I have been the last few years, since losing my husband, it will likely kill me in one way or another. So this is Day One, and I'm hoping tomorrow will be Day Two, the next day Day Three and so on. It's hard in this society where most social activities involve alcohol. My family and friends all drink - but they don't drink like I do. No one really knows how much I drink. Living alone makes it very easy to hide my drinking. But it has to stop. Now. I'm hoping this online haven will help me do that.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,909
This is the best decision you could have made for yourself. You are not alone, many of us here relate completely. I was in a very similar place exactly two years ago, my first post here. Welcome to the forum! We look forward to counting sober days with you. 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Midwest
Posts: 21
I'm really afraid I won't be able to do this. I grew up in a drinking family. Were my parents alcoholic? I think they probably were. Both died fairly young. So drinking is in my blood, so to speak. My brother doesn't drink much at all and hasn't been a heavy drinker for probably 25 years. My sister has two glasses of wine each night with her husband. She's able to control it. I can't.
I look young for my age.
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 932
Originally Posted by standswithafist 
I'm really afraid I won't be able to do this. I grew up in a drinking family. Were my parents alcoholic? I think they probably were. Both died fairly young. So drinking is in my blood, so to speak. My brother doesn't drink much at all and hasn't been a heavy drinker for probably 25 years. My sister has two glasses of wine each night with her husband. She's able to control it. I can't.
EnjoyingTheJourney
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 3,847
Welcome standswithafist-
Good for you on your Day 1!
You've come to the right place for support. Joining your class month is also very beneficial since you'll connect with others who are going through the same stages of Sobriety. It's easy....just go to the June class and say Hi. Or the July class thread, which Dee will start soon. Or both!
Take care....
Good for you on your Day 1! You've come to the right place for support. Joining your class month is also very beneficial since you'll connect with others who are going through the same stages of Sobriety. It's easy....just go to the June class and say Hi. Or the July class thread, which Dee will start soon. Or both!
Take care....
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Welcome to a great place for encouragement, standswithafist. I'm very glad you found us. It helps so much to share with others who understand.
I was older too when I came to SR. When I was in my 30's drinking was still fun - but somewhere along the way I became completely dependent on it. I never wanted to do anything unless alcohol was available. Holidays, vacations were all a blur. I wasn't even enjoying life - just waiting for my next chance to drink. So ridiculous.
It will feel great to break free of it. You can do it!
I was older too when I came to SR. When I was in my 30's drinking was still fun - but somewhere along the way I became completely dependent on it. I never wanted to do anything unless alcohol was available. Holidays, vacations were all a blur. I wasn't even enjoying life - just waiting for my next chance to drink. So ridiculous.
It will feel great to break free of it. You can do it!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
Welcome to the family. (love your user name) You've made a smart decision. I hope the support here can help you get sober for good. 
I got sober over six years ago and don't regret a minute of it.
(love your user name) You've made a smart decision. I hope the support here can help you get sober for good. I got sober over six years ago and don't regret a minute of it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 2,574
welcome, standswithafist! People here do understand what you're going through. I too drank wine at home, alone, and stopped because I worried about my health going into my mid-fifties.
I also just wanted to say that it is absolutely possible to do this in the middle of a family of drinkers. There's alcoholism in my family tree, and all my siblings are still heavy drinkers. The first few family get-togethers and holidays were difficult, but I found strategies for coping with it, and it's not a problem now.
You can do this.
I also just wanted to say that it is absolutely possible to do this in the middle of a family of drinkers. There's alcoholism in my family tree, and all my siblings are still heavy drinkers. The first few family get-togethers and holidays were difficult, but I found strategies for coping with it, and it's not a problem now.
You can do this.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,987
Hello and welcome, Stands. Our stories are quite similar. I'd always drunk, since my teens, but it didn't become a serious problem until my husband died. I live alone, no kids, I'm 58 now, and I basically isolated at home and drank, similar to you. No one knew of my drinking, I'd drink sparingly in company knowing I had my soother, my bottle of wine at home to go home to.
After a couple of blackouts I became frightened and knew I had to stop. I saw an addictions services agency and joined SR.
It took me two relapses but I'm now almost 3 years, mainly thanks to SR.
I think joining a monthly class is a good start, and keep close and post regularly.
It's not easy, but it can be done.
For me, family dynamics have changed, my siblings don't like that I've stopped drinking. They love to drink a lot. However, even though I get lonely and struggle with depression, I have pride in myself that I'm doing the right thing.
You will too! Read lots on SR. Read lots of books on recovery, I found this most helpful.
After a couple of blackouts I became frightened and knew I had to stop. I saw an addictions services agency and joined SR.
It took me two relapses but I'm now almost 3 years, mainly thanks to SR.
I think joining a monthly class is a good start, and keep close and post regularly.
It's not easy, but it can be done.
For me, family dynamics have changed, my siblings don't like that I've stopped drinking. They love to drink a lot. However, even though I get lonely and struggle with depression, I have pride in myself that I'm doing the right thing.
You will too! Read lots on SR. Read lots of books on recovery, I found this most helpful.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,471
Welcome, and I hope you have a great day today for Day 2!
It's so hard in the early days, but you can do this. Many of us have had to make changes in your lives to support our recovery. If many of your social activities revolve around alcohol, it might be helpful to try something new and different that doesn't. For example, volunteering in your community can get you out meeting people who are not drinking. I hope you check in today and that you are doing well.
It's so hard in the early days, but you can do this. Many of us have had to make changes in your lives to support our recovery. If many of your social activities revolve around alcohol, it might be helpful to try something new and different that doesn't. For example, volunteering in your community can get you out meeting people who are not drinking. I hope you check in today and that you are doing well.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 976
Hey and welcome! I too drank alone. I didn't realize how isolated I'd really become. Trying to hide it was fairly easy until I couldn't hide it anymore. People could see it in my bloated face, sunken eyes, shaky hands. It wasn't an "obvious" look that I had about me initially, but after taking alcohol away and putting some sober time under my belt it's much better. Eyes clearer, bloat gone don't feel like I have to "hide out" every night to drink.
If night time is when you drink, try to come up with a new routine. Hang out on SR, go for a bike ride, pick up a new hobby or revisit an old hobby. Good luck and you are not alone!
If night time is when you drink, try to come up with a new routine. Hang out on SR, go for a bike ride, pick up a new hobby or revisit an old hobby. Good luck and you are not alone!
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