Does every addict always have the eye opener?
Sobriety is an adventure.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 55
Does every addict always have the eye opener?
I was talking to a friend earlier who is a recovering alcoholic like me (he is doing extremely well) and he said that every addict has that moment that leads them to do what they never thought they could, which is accept they have a problem and give it up.
So I just wanted to put it out there for discussion, does anyone have any stories of that moment or one experience that caused to think, wow, something needs to drastically change?
Thank you all for being here for me
So I just wanted to put it out there for discussion, does anyone have any stories of that moment or one experience that caused to think, wow, something needs to drastically change?
Thank you all for being here for me
I don't recall any single moment. More like a series of moments where I started to realize I had a problem and each additional moment laying a brick in the wall of indisputable (and eventually undeniable) proof.
Sure.
Things were pretty bad, and in a moment of clarity I actually sat down and wrote about it on my laptop. I wrote about how the drugs had taken control of my life, the terrible things I had done, and the relationships that I had destroyed. It was a pivotal moment.
I used for 8 more years.
Things were a lot worse by then.
Thankfully I had another moment where I was beaten enough to get honest.
Recovery requires action, not just awareness.
Things were pretty bad, and in a moment of clarity I actually sat down and wrote about it on my laptop. I wrote about how the drugs had taken control of my life, the terrible things I had done, and the relationships that I had destroyed. It was a pivotal moment.
I used for 8 more years.
Things were a lot worse by then.
Thankfully I had another moment where I was beaten enough to get honest.
Recovery requires action, not just awareness.
I can't speak for others but getting sober for me was a really painful experience because I didn't just quit in hindsight I hope everyone can just recognise and stop drinking that's idealistic but possible as drinking when it's become a problem is it's own personal hell that I wish on no one
Personally it took 3 months from the point I admitted to myself that drinking had become a problem and I was drinking alcoholically
There is such deep wisdom here at SR one of the reasons I stick around as it not only strenghtens my sobriety but is litrelly helping me to become a better human being
Personally it took 3 months from the point I admitted to myself that drinking had become a problem and I was drinking alcoholically
There is such deep wisdom here at SR one of the reasons I stick around as it not only strenghtens my sobriety but is litrelly helping me to become a better human being
I was just discussing this the other day with someone. It speaks to the point of just how powerful alcohol and addiction is.
I like Nonsensical's brick analogy. For me it's magical lines.
Every time we quit we create a line in the sand we promise ourselves we'll never step over. However, and magically, we will willfully move that line further out every time we want to drink. Everything behind the line we're currently standing at represents all the bad things that have happened. Everything after the line are the "But I have never" items. We'll find a way to move that line every time we want to drink.
Until the day comes that you try to move that line but look down and realize you're on the edge of a cliff. The line can no longer be moved and reality must be faced that to take one more step would be lethal.
Unfortunately, for some stepping over that cliff is true death.
I had a long life of line moving. It began with becoming a person I didn't know when I drank, on to family upset with me, then threat to the end of my marriage, loss of job, and now, this final time, a DUI. I had 17 months of sobriety and gave all that goodness up by moving the line. I chose to toy with the world of "But I have never" and rolled the dice. What happened was freak and don't think that my alcoholic mind doesn't toy with that even now. However, I've finally made it to the cliff. I've got a world of crap ahead of me to face and I have finally accepted that I have no business putting any alcohol in my body, ever. I thank God every day that no one was killed. That was my moment.
What I've found is that for the first time I have complete and true acceptance of the fact that I can't drink. Ever. There is no choice. Accepting that has made sobriety and recovery one million times easier. It's stopped me from putting any energy into figuring out if I can ever move that line again and helps me to focus on living a sober and happy life. It's a true sense of peace and relief.
I like Nonsensical's brick analogy. For me it's magical lines.
Every time we quit we create a line in the sand we promise ourselves we'll never step over. However, and magically, we will willfully move that line further out every time we want to drink. Everything behind the line we're currently standing at represents all the bad things that have happened. Everything after the line are the "But I have never" items. We'll find a way to move that line every time we want to drink.
Until the day comes that you try to move that line but look down and realize you're on the edge of a cliff. The line can no longer be moved and reality must be faced that to take one more step would be lethal.
Unfortunately, for some stepping over that cliff is true death.
I had a long life of line moving. It began with becoming a person I didn't know when I drank, on to family upset with me, then threat to the end of my marriage, loss of job, and now, this final time, a DUI. I had 17 months of sobriety and gave all that goodness up by moving the line. I chose to toy with the world of "But I have never" and rolled the dice. What happened was freak and don't think that my alcoholic mind doesn't toy with that even now. However, I've finally made it to the cliff. I've got a world of crap ahead of me to face and I have finally accepted that I have no business putting any alcohol in my body, ever. I thank God every day that no one was killed. That was my moment.
What I've found is that for the first time I have complete and true acceptance of the fact that I can't drink. Ever. There is no choice. Accepting that has made sobriety and recovery one million times easier. It's stopped me from putting any energy into figuring out if I can ever move that line again and helps me to focus on living a sober and happy life. It's a true sense of peace and relief.
For me, absolutely yes. To some extent or other, I've always lied to my spouse/family about the extent of my drinking. More often than not, they had no idea (at least I thought at the time) that I was drunk. Two Saturdays ago, I was so plowed under during a patio party we threw for some friends, that my condition was obvious to anyone who looked. My wife confronted me, and I lied to her face, repeatedly, that I was not drunk. She trusted me so much that she believed me, and immediately started looking up what other disease I might have that matched my "symptoms." I couldn't bear it. Here was someone who loved and trusted me so much, that even in the face of all of the evidence, she chose to believe me rather than come to the obvious conclusion. It's been two weeks since then, and a lot of healing has happened, but I still have a long way to go. I'm lucky, I suppose, that I didn't fall so far as to destroy the wonderful life I have. But still, I never ever want to go through this again. It is going to take forever to win back her trust, and to trust myself, but for the first time in ages I feel like I have my priorities straight.
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Good question, and for me the answer is yes. My turning point wasn't even at my worst. I had a couple binges that I knew were not normal and morally sickening. But I was drunk and had a freak accident in the house which required major surgery. I HAD to stay sober for a long time because of the dangers of the medication I was taking. I even tried to pick up again a couple of times and the magic was gone. I let sleeping dogs lie. With that said, I've had some close calls in the last year.
Yes I had that moment of true clarity. For so long, I was living with the false notion that I was really truly in control of my drinking. That I really didn't have a problem, but that my problem was really that I "accidentally" ended up drinking too much "just this time", and if I hadn't gone that far, everything would have been ok. But the truth was, when I was getting drunk I was being very nasty and belligerent to my poor wife. I never physically hurt her, but I always said these terrible things to her during my blackouts. It just kept happening, and finally she said that it was enough (and she meant it). I finally had to decide if I wanted to keep my marriage, and my relationship with my kids, or if I wanted to keep waking up each day with a hangover. I can remember every day waking up with my adrenal glands emptying because I couldn't remember if I drank too much the night before, and I couldn't remember if I made an ass out of my self or not. Now I have 298 days sober, and my life has completely changed. My marriage is very much back on track, my relationship with my kids has never been better. I am thriving at work, and I have lost 55 pounds. Recognizing that I had to stop was the best decision I have ever made. I don't mourn the loss of drinking in my life any more. I have learned to control those times when cravings crop up in my life because of some trigger, and I will never go back to moving the "magical line" that LadyBlue0527 is talking about....My eureka moment saved my life....
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