I'm invited.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Like Mariah - I'm teary eyed too. 
So glad you were part of your daughter's beautiful day.
Mike you look super spiffy in that great outfit. Bride & groom look wonderful. You belong and you are worthy. Look how far you've come - please be proud of yourself. We are!
So glad you were part of your daughter's beautiful day.Mike you look super spiffy in that great outfit. Bride & groom look wonderful. You belong and you are worthy. Look how far you've come - please be proud of yourself. We are!
NA Member - Atheist
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Middletown CT USA
Posts: 770
Thanks.
I just got of the phone with a good friend in recovery. We had a good talk, and he shared some powerful insights. He reminded me that the longer I show up for the relationship with my daughters, the less awkward and out of place I will feel. He also reminded me that my reintroduction into their lives probably brings up old feelings of loss and betrayal as well, feelings that they could have dealt with easier when I wasn't around. Likewise, he reminded me that most of the people I saw today have no idea who I am now.
Just another reminder that we need others to see what we can't recognize on our own, and that we need them to make sure that our perspective is not skewed.
Why anyone would want to attempt recovery alone is baffling.
I just got of the phone with a good friend in recovery. We had a good talk, and he shared some powerful insights. He reminded me that the longer I show up for the relationship with my daughters, the less awkward and out of place I will feel. He also reminded me that my reintroduction into their lives probably brings up old feelings of loss and betrayal as well, feelings that they could have dealt with easier when I wasn't around. Likewise, he reminded me that most of the people I saw today have no idea who I am now.
Just another reminder that we need others to see what we can't recognize on our own, and that we need them to make sure that our perspective is not skewed.
Why anyone would want to attempt recovery alone is baffling.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Surrey
Posts: 65
IvanMike - your post brought tears to my eyes. I look forward to the day I can look into the eyes of my loved ones, and see that they've forgiven me.
I'm very happy for you.
I'm only a day sober. I have a long way to go. I feel so impatient though. I wish I could wave a magic wand and erase all the pain i've brought upon everyone because of my drinking.
I'm very happy for you.
I'm only a day sober. I have a long way to go. I feel so impatient though. I wish I could wave a magic wand and erase all the pain i've brought upon everyone because of my drinking.
NA Member - Atheist
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Middletown CT USA
Posts: 770
Originally Posted by KPForever 
IvanMike - your post brought tears to my eyes. I look forward to the day I can look into the eyes of my loved ones, and see that they've forgiven me.
I'm very happy for you.
I'm only a day sober. I have a long way to go. I feel so impatient though. I wish I could wave a magic wand and erase all the pain i've brought upon everyone because of my drinking.
I'm very happy for you.
I'm only a day sober. I have a long way to go. I feel so impatient though. I wish I could wave a magic wand and erase all the pain i've brought upon everyone because of my drinking.
The past is over, it's all about what we do now.
Keep at it and things change. Trust me, despite my discomfort today, things are incredibly different in my relationships and inside my own head than they were when I first got clean.
A few hours back home, a conversation or two with other recovering addicts, and some time to reflect and I feel a lot better than I did just after the reception. All feelings pass, and those feelings of discomfort pass faster the longer we stay clean and participate in recovery.
A big part of recovering is learning how to survive our feelings and learning that they can do us no harm unless we act upon them.
Hang in there, days add up.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by KPForever
IvanMike - your post brought tears to my eyes. I look forward to the day I can look into the eyes of my loved ones, and see that they've forgiven me.
I'm very happy for you.
I'm only a day sober. I have a long way to go. I feel so impatient though. I wish I could wave a magic wand and erase all the pain i've brought upon everyone because of my drinking.
I'm very happy for you.
I'm only a day sober. I have a long way to go. I feel so impatient though. I wish I could wave a magic wand and erase all the pain i've brought upon everyone because of my drinking.
I personally wouldn't want my past to go away. my past is a very valuable possession of mine. I have a lot of experience of what does and doesn't work.
plus im very blessed to have lived 2 lives.
if ya want experiences like ivanmikes,
follow in his footsteps doing what he did.
NA Member - Atheist
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Middletown CT USA
Posts: 770
Had an interesting discussion with an "old timer" (he'd kill me if I called him that) at a meeting this AM regarding all this.
He said one of the most important and most difficult relationships we develop in recovery is the relationship with the person that we were. - They come along for the ride, and sometimes they try to grab the wheel.
One of those paradoxes of recovery is that on the one hand, it's what we do now that is important, but at the same time, the past still exists and it still matters. Guilt and shame still show up sometimes, but it's how we react to them that makes the difference.
He said one of the most important and most difficult relationships we develop in recovery is the relationship with the person that we were. - They come along for the ride, and sometimes they try to grab the wheel.
One of those paradoxes of recovery is that on the one hand, it's what we do now that is important, but at the same time, the past still exists and it still matters. Guilt and shame still show up sometimes, but it's how we react to them that makes the difference.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
IvanMike, thanks for the update about the wedding and the progress it marks in your journey and your relationship with your daughters.
Great pics! Any bride who picks blue hydrangeas for her bouquet is my people. (They are my favorites.) She looks just radiant and you have so much to be proud of on so many levels.
Great pics! Any bride who picks blue hydrangeas for her bouquet is my people. (They are my favorites.) She looks just radiant and you have so much to be proud of on so many levels.
One Day At A Time
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,054
Mike, I'm so happy to read your follow up. I appreciate you writing about your recovery in motion with how you felt following the reception, and the talks with other in recovery that grounded you.
The picture above says so much.... brings a tear to my eye!
The picture above says so much.... brings a tear to my eye!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,129
This is an amazing post! Thank you SO MUCH for posting photos. It really makes it hit home... your glowing sobriety, you look dapper as all get out, your beautiful daughter...
I completely understand this is a safe and anonymous space so when people post photos I am so awed and thankful!
You look amazing, she is an angelic gem, and I congratulate you on your recovery and on the trust you are earning and for your hard work in recovery!
The blessings are concrete! Thank you!
I completely understand this is a safe and anonymous space so when people post photos I am so awed and thankful!
You look amazing, she is an angelic gem, and I congratulate you on your recovery and on the trust you are earning and for your hard work in recovery!
The blessings are concrete! Thank you!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
