Slip at 9 months
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 561
Slip at 9 months
I had a slip at 9 months and now realize:
1. I need to stay active on SR.
2. The warning signs of relapse.
My main warning signs were thoughts such as:
"I can probably drink now that I have ADHD under control. I bet it was ADHD all along, and not alcoholism."
WRONG. I cannot drink normally, regardless of managing co-occurring issues.
"Non drinking friends and even doctors say they don't think I'm an alcoholic."
Back to my most important discovery: it doesn't matter what others think, I KNOW I cannot drink. The obsession ruins my life.
I have a counselor and solid recovery plan but am considering getting a sponsor. I seem to get around 9 months to 1 year and the "maybe I could drink again" thought gets strong. I must fight it with truth.
Thanks for reading, friends.
1. I need to stay active on SR.
2. The warning signs of relapse.
My main warning signs were thoughts such as:
"I can probably drink now that I have ADHD under control. I bet it was ADHD all along, and not alcoholism."
WRONG. I cannot drink normally, regardless of managing co-occurring issues.
"Non drinking friends and even doctors say they don't think I'm an alcoholic."
Back to my most important discovery: it doesn't matter what others think, I KNOW I cannot drink. The obsession ruins my life.
I have a counselor and solid recovery plan but am considering getting a sponsor. I seem to get around 9 months to 1 year and the "maybe I could drink again" thought gets strong. I must fight it with truth.
Thanks for reading, friends.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 1,742
I'm glad to read you understand the voice that leads you back down.
My warning voice says 'things were so much easier when I drank.' Crazy! The truth is, everything was obliterated from conscious awareness when I drank.
You keep coming back and so will I!
My warning voice says 'things were so much easier when I drank.' Crazy! The truth is, everything was obliterated from conscious awareness when I drank.
You keep coming back and so will I!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Somerset
Posts: 924
Well done for recommitting Sportsfan, great to see you back. :-)
I can empathise with the "friends and doctors don't think I'm an alcoholic" thing. In fact it drives me bloody nuts. #%%>€+¥+*>%<~**??!
Who the hell makes the rules that determines the labels that we should or shouldn't or can or can't wear. Not people that have struggled with drink, I'll be damned.
I've had three therapists practically condone my drinking, "just cut down a bit" they all said. That's all just fodder for my AV to have a field day.
The closest I've come to caving in my nine months sober is when I started to believe what other people told me about my own drinking habits.
Thank you for your post, it's a welcome reminder to me that I can't ever drink again. That's regardless of what my "label" says.
Hugs and best wishes. :-)
I can empathise with the "friends and doctors don't think I'm an alcoholic" thing. In fact it drives me bloody nuts. #%%>€+¥+*>%<~**??!
Who the hell makes the rules that determines the labels that we should or shouldn't or can or can't wear. Not people that have struggled with drink, I'll be damned.
I've had three therapists practically condone my drinking, "just cut down a bit" they all said. That's all just fodder for my AV to have a field day.
The closest I've come to caving in my nine months sober is when I started to believe what other people told me about my own drinking habits.
Thank you for your post, it's a welcome reminder to me that I can't ever drink again. That's regardless of what my "label" says.
Hugs and best wishes. :-)
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,853
Welcome back, SportsFan.
Great job on recommitting to sobriety and recovery. While I have never worked the steps, getting a sponsor and doing so sounds like a great idea. It has helped so many here.
We are with you 100%, SportsFan.
Great job on recommitting to sobriety and recovery. While I have never worked the steps, getting a sponsor and doing so sounds like a great idea. It has helped so many here.
We are with you 100%, SportsFan.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 518
Excellent insight. Im at close to the same time sober and so many people keep telling me "you have no problem".
That's as ridiculous as those same people saying, "you dont have a headache".
Nobody knows except for you. Sober living can sometimes be isolating, when I feel lonely I always come to SR. it's a great family here.
That's as ridiculous as those same people saying, "you dont have a headache".
Nobody knows except for you. Sober living can sometimes be isolating, when I feel lonely I always come to SR. it's a great family here.
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
I'm glad you recognize the AV talking. And thank you for posting. I also just passed the 9 month mark and a reminder of what happens if you listen to the AV is always a good reinforcement
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, SportsFan.
Sorry you've slipped, but you are here, back in the saddle, learned your lessons. That is what matters.
"Non drinking friends and even doctors say they don't think I'm an alcoholic." I believe it's one of the most dangerous traps which is planted on sobriety road - to "assess", and judge, and categorize our condition and life situation based on what other people think and say - regardless of their life experience and degrees in different areas.
I love the quote of Tim Grover, Michael Jordan's and other top athletes trainer "Stop waiting to be taught what you already know". Priceless.
You know yourself better than anyone else. When it comes to others' people life everyone around suddenly comes up with "enlightened insight". Pretty much like every armchair quarterback knows how to score a perfect touch down and gives adamant instructions to the player in the field.
Trust yourself. Trust your gut. Stay close to those who travel the same road.
Keep your chin up.
Keep posting)
Sorry you've slipped, but you are here, back in the saddle, learned your lessons. That is what matters.
Originally Posted by SportsFan15 
"Non drinking friends and even doctors say they don't think I'm an alcoholic."
I love the quote of Tim Grover, Michael Jordan's and other top athletes trainer "Stop waiting to be taught what you already know". Priceless.
You know yourself better than anyone else. When it comes to others' people life everyone around suddenly comes up with "enlightened insight". Pretty much like every armchair quarterback knows how to score a perfect touch down and gives adamant instructions to the player in the field.
Trust yourself. Trust your gut. Stay close to those who travel the same road.
Keep your chin up.
Keep posting)
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 486
I have had ZERO support with friends, I think largely because I hid my serious drinking from them (I'd leave from the bar and THEN get drunk)
Understanding the triggers and thinking through the process is so key. I had to do it today and I am on day 115.
I just can't do it anymore. I finally relented and had had enough. This slip may be the most important step in your recovery of all......best of luck. You got this.
Understanding the triggers and thinking through the process is so key. I had to do it today and I am on day 115.
I just can't do it anymore. I finally relented and had had enough. This slip may be the most important step in your recovery of all......best of luck. You got this.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 95
Sounds familiar...
The last couple of times I tried to quit drinking, I ended up getting back into drinking and/or drugging because I was feeling good. I had told myself that I could go without drinking or doing drugs, so I obviously did not have a problem. Both times I went back around the 6-month mark. And here I am one week away from 4 months. I am confident that I will continue on my sober path.
The last couple of times I tried to quit drinking, I ended up getting back into drinking and/or drugging because I was feeling good. I had told myself that I could go without drinking or doing drugs, so I obviously did not have a problem. Both times I went back around the 6-month mark. And here I am one week away from 4 months. I am confident that I will continue on my sober path.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,036
Welcome back Sportsfan!
I am getting close to six months, but in the past have returned to drinking for many of the things you listed.
I also found that not posting on SR was my biggest mistake. You are very smart to come right back and start again. You've got this!
I am getting close to six months, but in the past have returned to drinking for many of the things you listed.
I also found that not posting on SR was my biggest mistake. You are very smart to come right back and start again. You've got this!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: NC
Posts: 662
Welcome back!
I think you have taken away 2 pretty huge things from this relapse. All you can do is get right back on the band wagon and not let this relapse continue and continue. Pick yourself up, review your recovery plan, analyze any weak or lacking spots, adjust as needed, and move forward!
I do not understand why anyone thinks it is appropriate to tell someone "I don't think you were ever an alcoholic". No matter what anyone thinks or says we know the truth and it is up to US to stay sober and work on our recovery- but still what good can come out of telling someone that?! Urgh. Maybe those people aren't truly your real friends.
I found myself starting to say to myself "maybe it was my bipolar that was making me such a drug addict" but then I reminded myself that it is NEVER "normal" to inject heroin so it was easier for me to wipe that one out of my mind..but believe me I think a lot of us have gone through that thought process.
YOU CAN DO THIS!
I think you have taken away 2 pretty huge things from this relapse. All you can do is get right back on the band wagon and not let this relapse continue and continue. Pick yourself up, review your recovery plan, analyze any weak or lacking spots, adjust as needed, and move forward!
I do not understand why anyone thinks it is appropriate to tell someone "I don't think you were ever an alcoholic". No matter what anyone thinks or says we know the truth and it is up to US to stay sober and work on our recovery- but still what good can come out of telling someone that?! Urgh. Maybe those people aren't truly your real friends.
I found myself starting to say to myself "maybe it was my bipolar that was making me such a drug addict" but then I reminded myself that it is NEVER "normal" to inject heroin so it was easier for me to wipe that one out of my mind..but believe me I think a lot of us have gone through that thought process.
YOU CAN DO THIS!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 561
Originally Posted by AdelineRose
Welcome back!
I think you have taken away 2 pretty huge things from this relapse. All you can do is get right back on the band wagon and not let this relapse continue and continue. Pick yourself up, review your recovery plan, analyze any weak or lacking spots, adjust as needed, and move forward!
I do not understand why anyone thinks it is appropriate to tell someone "I don't think you were ever an alcoholic". No matter what anyone thinks or says we know the truth and it is up to US to stay sober and work on our recovery- but still what good can come out of telling someone that?! Urgh. Maybe those people aren't truly your real friends.
I found myself starting to say to myself "maybe it was my bipolar that was making me such a drug addict" but then I reminded myself that it is NEVER "normal" to inject heroin so it was easier for me to wipe that one out of my mind..but believe me I think a lot of us have gone through that thought process.
YOU CAN DO THIS!
I think you have taken away 2 pretty huge things from this relapse. All you can do is get right back on the band wagon and not let this relapse continue and continue. Pick yourself up, review your recovery plan, analyze any weak or lacking spots, adjust as needed, and move forward!
I do not understand why anyone thinks it is appropriate to tell someone "I don't think you were ever an alcoholic". No matter what anyone thinks or says we know the truth and it is up to US to stay sober and work on our recovery- but still what good can come out of telling someone that?! Urgh. Maybe those people aren't truly your real friends.
I found myself starting to say to myself "maybe it was my bipolar that was making me such a drug addict" but then I reminded myself that it is NEVER "normal" to inject heroin so it was easier for me to wipe that one out of my mind..but believe me I think a lot of us have gone through that thought process.
YOU CAN DO THIS!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 561
Thank you to everyone for your replies....isn't it amazing how much it helps? Hearing from each of you. Relating. Empathizing.
Yeah, the moment I start thinking "I'm good, I don't need to be active on SR or work on my plan" YEP, I definitely need to!
Yeah, the moment I start thinking "I'm good, I don't need to be active on SR or work on my plan" YEP, I definitely need to!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Welcome back Sportsfan. My last relapse came at 9 months. I spent the better part of the next year drinking 24/7. What a wake up call. I've been sober for just about 2 years since. You can do this. Don't leave any sliver of opening for alcohol in your life, no matter what anyone else says. You're the one that has to live with your decisions.
You've got this.
You've got this.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 486
This is me exactly but I drank for 4 years not 2. I would NEVER drink again, but only because it has FINALLY gotten through MY thick skull that no matter what I say, I cannot EVER drink in moderation. I always knew it, but now I BELIEVE it......No more. As Dee has told me, I've been to my last rodeo. Truth.
Originally Posted by ccam1973
Welcome back Sportsfan. My last relapse came at 9 months. I spent the better part of the next year drinking 24/7. What a wake up call. I've been sober for just about 2 years since. You can do this. Don't leave any sliver of opening for alcohol in your life, no matter what anyone else says. You're the one that has to live with your decisions.
You've got this.
You've got this.
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