Save Yourself Here - Weekender June 24th Part 1
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Save Yourself Here - Weekender June 24th Part 1
All my life I found it incredibly hard to see my strengths. I could rapid fire a list of things wrong with me. But ask me what I do well and I could conjure nothing that could scratch the surface of who I am. It was because my shell was so thick nothing could scratch it. Dent it. Penetrate it. Nothing.
I lived like that for many years. Drinking and drugs came along and my shell seemed to soften. Ha! Nothing of the sort. It fooled me into just putting on several more layers between me and life. Trying to see through a cloud of crack smoke sharpened no ones vision I assure you.
Three rehabs. Three point five to be exact. Cannot forget the half hearted attempts. 3 therapists. Getting kicked out of a men's therapy group cuz I was bringing everyone down. Imagine that! I EXPECTED something or someone outside my walls to be able to break into the unbreakable and save me from everything... Imagine that.
Doesn't work that way. Fast forward to today. No I am not skipping over the secrets of sobriety. I am not leaving out the juicy stuff. For me it's simply this...
It's in my vulnerability that I find my greatest strengths. When I let myself feel the struggles I can over come them. I am not in quicksand here.
When I finally realized that both guilt and "salvation" both live in me together, I also see that I have the control over both. Salvation is not a word I use. Has catchy things that come with it in my mind that I don't care for. But here it says what I want. I can stop my guilt. I created it. I can save my self. I put me here.
I have said this many times before. Hope is tangible. It's touchable. It's in the hand of someone who needs help. It's in my hand.
Milestones mark a moment of pause in all of us. I happen to be pausing to see I do have strengths. I still may not see them easily. But they cause me to act. The results of my actions I can see.
If this guy can help himself. You CAN too!
Thanks for letting me share this weekend. Welcome to your sober weekend.
Ken
I lived like that for many years. Drinking and drugs came along and my shell seemed to soften. Ha! Nothing of the sort. It fooled me into just putting on several more layers between me and life. Trying to see through a cloud of crack smoke sharpened no ones vision I assure you.
Three rehabs. Three point five to be exact. Cannot forget the half hearted attempts. 3 therapists. Getting kicked out of a men's therapy group cuz I was bringing everyone down. Imagine that! I EXPECTED something or someone outside my walls to be able to break into the unbreakable and save me from everything... Imagine that.
Doesn't work that way. Fast forward to today. No I am not skipping over the secrets of sobriety. I am not leaving out the juicy stuff. For me it's simply this...
It's in my vulnerability that I find my greatest strengths. When I let myself feel the struggles I can over come them. I am not in quicksand here.
When I finally realized that both guilt and "salvation" both live in me together, I also see that I have the control over both. Salvation is not a word I use. Has catchy things that come with it in my mind that I don't care for. But here it says what I want. I can stop my guilt. I created it. I can save my self. I put me here.
I have said this many times before. Hope is tangible. It's touchable. It's in the hand of someone who needs help. It's in my hand.
Milestones mark a moment of pause in all of us. I happen to be pausing to see I do have strengths. I still may not see them easily. But they cause me to act. The results of my actions I can see.
If this guy can help himself. You CAN too!
Thanks for letting me share this weekend. Welcome to your sober weekend.
Ken
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Today is the BIG 50!!!
I have the chance to start a fresh decade with a bright future. So grateful today.
I have it off so I can feel every moment of it. Then carry on as usual.
Thank you for the birthday wishes!!!
I have the chance to start a fresh decade with a bright future. So grateful today.
I have it off so I can feel every moment of it. Then carry on as usual.
Thank you for the birthday wishes!!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,474
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I had just got up to smear some 'Bag Balm' Goop on my trashed Hands. I couldn't get this Phone Screen to respond well. So, I was doubting that I really got Shotgun!
Tnx for that great Intro, Ken! You don't look a Day over 49!
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I had just got up to smear some 'Bag Balm' Goop on my trashed Hands. I couldn't get this Phone Screen to respond well. So, I was doubting that I really got Shotgun!
Tnx for that great Intro, Ken! You don't look a Day over 49!
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