Ambuler

That was the first and last time for that.

Never. Ever. Again,

Hevyn

Hi Ambuler. I'm just now reading your thread - I'm so glad you joined us.

I felt all alone with my addiction until I came here. I'd been drinking my whole life - couldn't imagine what it would be like without my 'buffer'. I was so afraid to let go of it, even though I knew it was killing me. Being able to talk things over here helped relieve some of my anxiety. I hope you'll feel the same.

Hoping the appointment went well. We're rooting for you.

luvmygirls

Wow, you've gotten some completely amazing advice from some really wise people, especially those who said this might be your last chance to get sober on your terms. I was in a similar spot to you, just completely over it, but fearing withdrawal with my husband's judgement overshadowing and shaming me. What I've learned so far is that my drinking made me powerless in my own life...the people pleasing and the cycle of drinking seemed endless, but it's not. You can do this. ❤️

Ambuler

Thank you all again for the awesome advice, and, at times, the repremand.

I did have my appointment yesterday evening and it went really well. I was able to talk some things out and it felt like a weight was lifted. He is also a Christian counselor (and runs his practice as such) so we prayed together and brought God into the session so, yea, it was really good. I feel armed and ready to lay this addiction down for good.

So today will be my official day one. I did drink yesterday, but it was early (I know, sad) so I was able to nap it off before I went to my appointment. No more of that though. I'm actually excited about the idea of life with no alcohol. To be able to fully experience life and its ups and downs is something I'm actually looking forward to. That's such a big difference from before, when every time I thought about life without booze my anxiety would go through the roof.

Now to make a plan, I guess. It's only day one so I'm sure I'm not going to be this optimistic every day lol

JG62

You will do it. Have faith in yourself. Please do it now, don't risk losing your husband like I have, 2 days ago. Part of me thinks 'what's the point in getting sober now' but a little voice says in my head it will be worth it

Ambuler

JG62 I am so sorry that you're going through that. My husband has had me arrested and kicked out of our home before as a result of my alcoholism, as he should have, so I do realize how blessed I am this time that I reached out in time. We were definitely going down that road again, though. I think in the past month he's slept on the couch more than in our bed after my drunken "logic" has caused me to start fights with him...

I know that if God brought you and your husband together, than there is always hope. It may not look how you think it should, and reconciliation may take longer than you want, but always, ALWAYS have hope.

OceanGuy

You don't sound pathetic at all! It takes real strength to air your dirty laundry on a forum. Half of the battle is knowing that you have the problem so you're on the right track. You can do this!