808 days
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Dover, New Hampshire
Posts: 105
808 days
It's been a long 808 days I try not to count but some times I ask myself how I do it? I question myself a lot these days! I just ended a partnership I had with a girl for the last 4 months because she wanted a relationship and I'm still not ready 9 months removed from a 6 year relationship as well as still wanting to find myself and what I want to do with my life instead of jump right into another long term relationship with someone who I haven't even known that long. I'm working a lot and she has animals so I have to mostly go to her and it's a 30+ minute drive so a hour plus both ways. I told her I couldn't be there more than twice a week and once a week now that I got a second job just for the summer and am working 7 days this week and also my car having a lot of miles on it already and it just coming out of the shop on Friday after a 300$ repair that didn't cut it for her and we both agreed to go our seperate ways after months of me driving back and forth to see her all the time and her wanting me to come more and more and more each week it was taxing on me with work and going to the gym 5 days a week. It was like I no longer had a life of my own, I was just constantly driving to work the gym or her house and back.
So today when I got a day off my only one of the week I went to the beach with my co worker and didn't go to her house till later and she was pissed and that was when we had the final talk about how I didn't care as much as her and that she was sick of wasting time and putting in 80% and me only putting in 20%. It was tough to grab my things and leave I tried not to cry because she is a good person it just sucks I could give her what she wanted because I'm not ready for another relationship I was clear about that from the start but like she said I can't have my cake and eat it too. Anyways it was a tough day to have to walk out of someone's life who you care about but don't want to hurt them anymore than you already have.
These past few months have been a battle just physically, mentally and emotionally between finally paying off my medical bills to car problems to trying to heal old injuries that won't seem to go away and now this most recent one wit this girl. I'm not going to turn to drinking or smoking though even though I've thought about it a lot lately. I use the gym as my go to it's helped me so much in moments where I almost lost it. I need to not stress about what's in front of me and instead look back and realize how far I've come. I'm my own worst enemy a lot of the time. I know I'm not on here much but I appreciate who ever took the time out of their day to read this and respond. I would rather have a happy thread on 808 days but this is just how I feel today and lately I know better days are ahead but it's the tough times like these we can't forget that when we're still sober that we made it through these tough times and we're so much stronger now for that. Take care and Happy Father's Day
So today when I got a day off my only one of the week I went to the beach with my co worker and didn't go to her house till later and she was pissed and that was when we had the final talk about how I didn't care as much as her and that she was sick of wasting time and putting in 80% and me only putting in 20%. It was tough to grab my things and leave I tried not to cry because she is a good person it just sucks I could give her what she wanted because I'm not ready for another relationship I was clear about that from the start but like she said I can't have my cake and eat it too. Anyways it was a tough day to have to walk out of someone's life who you care about but don't want to hurt them anymore than you already have.
These past few months have been a battle just physically, mentally and emotionally between finally paying off my medical bills to car problems to trying to heal old injuries that won't seem to go away and now this most recent one wit this girl. I'm not going to turn to drinking or smoking though even though I've thought about it a lot lately. I use the gym as my go to it's helped me so much in moments where I almost lost it. I need to not stress about what's in front of me and instead look back and realize how far I've come. I'm my own worst enemy a lot of the time. I know I'm not on here much but I appreciate who ever took the time out of their day to read this and respond. I would rather have a happy thread on 808 days but this is just how I feel today and lately I know better days are ahead but it's the tough times like these we can't forget that when we're still sober that we made it through these tough times and we're so much stronger now for that. Take care and Happy Father's Day
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Hi Brad 
as hard as it must have been it sounds like you made the right choice for you. I definitely encourage you to use some me time to figure out who sober you is and what you want
congrats on your 808 days - great going
D
as hard as it must have been it sounds like you made the right choice for you. I definitely encourage you to use some me time to figure out who sober you is and what you want
congrats on your 808 days - great going
D
I hope you can find some peace of mind. 
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