Working Plan
 

Hello all.

I'm under a lot of stress. I have posted a bit about it.

My mother has been here and it was kind of rough. Not getting get along with my daughter or my husband very much.

My daughter got sick with mouth sores...I have taken off tomorrow and next week to tend to her. ( My supervisor was 100% supportive so that is a relief .) it has been really painful and honestly the worst feeling I have ever had in my entire life and I am 36 years old. She was in so much pain that it was unbearable to me. I felt like my heart was being ripped out.
The impotence was the worst feeling. I could only lay there with her hold her hand and stroke her hair ... I went back to the doctors for the third time and demanded something for the pain. She finally got something and she's a really good spitter outer so it is working and she has been able to sleep a little bit the last night . It's a numbing mouth wash. He had sores on her entire mouth gums inside of the lips roof under the tongue, EVERYWHERE. Poor sweetie. She was misdiagnosed in the beginning so it took a while to get it under control. I hope the worst of it has passed.

My mother leaves tomorrow early in the morning.

I am posting because today I allowed myself to tell a friend that I was so stressed out then a gin and tonic sounded nice...

It does not. I can't Believe it came out of my mouth so easily. It lingered in my head for a little bit but then I started talking myself out of it playing the tape etc. So now I am here posting ... Maybe I just set it to convey a message of how stressed out I was, but honestly I don't think it's funny and it's really stupid to have those thoughts. Very annoying .

I'm NOT going to drink because I don't drink anymore.

It would only end up making me feel really crappy. It is so stupid that I actually verbalized it. I can't believe it .

Little fu$&@3!!!

I'm so sorry your kiddo is sick. Watching out kids suffer is awful....what did she have btw? Was it like thrush or something?

I'm glad you shut the drinking thought down. Best to never even open those thoughts.....it happens though.

So next year? Go visit Mom by yourself! Don't put yourself through this again.
Onward and upward.

I hope your daughter feels better really soon.

I agree with Frick. Don't put yourself through the same situation again. Maybe you can find another way to visit with or connect with your mother.

Aw I am sorry that your daughter is sick, it is so hard to watch others in pain and knowing that there is nothing we can do to take the pain away.

However, you are doing exactly what your daughter needs; you are sober, you will be there for her next week and you will be sober so you will be aware, attentive, and alert. You fought for her and got her a mouth wash that really helped, you are there to hold her hand and let her know you are there with her.

You are really moving forward with your recovery, your reaction to saying "a gin and tonic" shows that you are growing. You attacked that thought before it could put you in the position where you wouldn't be fully there for your daughter emotionally or physically.

Your doing great! I hope your daughter feels better soon!

Stress from two sides - mom and sick child. A drink might be a fleeting thought for me, too. But, I'd remember that I can deal with it all better sober.

I hope your daughter feels better in the morning. It is hard to watch your child suffer. But, it sounds like you are doing all you can.

Good thoughts and vibes your way.

Posting here and sharing instead of picking up a drink is a victory in my book. Good for you :)

Your staying accountable x

At first they thought it was strep even though I didn't think so because her gums were really swollen then it ended up being something viral that we just have to write out and manage the symptoms. We gave her antibiotics needlessly and I am very upset about it because it's the first time in her life she gets them . She has cold sores all over her mouth into a her gums were bleeding. Doc ended up saying that it is gingivostomatosis...

Hopefully with time things will change and they will grow together but that's not up to me. All I can do is lead by example.

Thanks!!!

I did put it in its place and I think I said to feel like what a normal person would say to convey a feeling. Still stupid and really, what is normal?My friend knows I quit drinking so I told her later that there's no way in throwing away this time because of outside factors. Keeping myself accountable. She was supportive and that was cool.

It is always stress when she comes but it m starting to learn to deal with it better. She wasn't drinking at all because she is in a diet so that helped. We did get is a tiffy where she criticized/mocked my lifestyle ( the fact that I don't like to use perfumes or scented and chemical stuff. Specially in food) and I criticized her drinking with a fatty liver. We always get in squabbles but lways move on.

Working my plan!!! No complacency!!!

Yes!!! That's part of my plan. Last time I drank I allowed myself to drift a bit and didn't participate here much. Doing things differently this time.