Here's something I don't understand, 6 months sober
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Dallas Texas
Posts: 579
Here's something I don't understand, 6 months sober
This is a little weird and maybe not a SR topic but I'm too cheap to pay a shrink. I don't think it that big a deal anyway.
I'm 6 months sober. The past week or so I've been in a funk. I just keep feeling low and "I'm sorry" keeps playing in my head. I'm not saying or thinking it when I'm around anyone. It's just when I'm alone, I did it a few minutes ago. Also I've had a low grade headache and my mind foggy lately. It's like my life didn't turnout the way it should have...I'm sorry. Or maybe I feel guilty about all the stuff I did drunk. PAWS? It's not a big deal but it's not something I can't talk about either. I don't remember having this before. It started recently so I suppose it will go away soon. Just curious if anyone else has had this?
I'm 6 months sober. The past week or so I've been in a funk. I just keep feeling low and "I'm sorry" keeps playing in my head. I'm not saying or thinking it when I'm around anyone. It's just when I'm alone, I did it a few minutes ago. Also I've had a low grade headache and my mind foggy lately. It's like my life didn't turnout the way it should have...I'm sorry. Or maybe I feel guilty about all the stuff I did drunk. PAWS? It's not a big deal but it's not something I can't talk about either. I don't remember having this before. It started recently so I suppose it will go away soon. Just curious if anyone else has had this?
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 444
Hi there
You and I got sober around the same time. I remember you were dealing with legal issues at the time.
I mention the timing because 6 months both feels like eternity when celebrating sobriety but at the same time... Not long at all when changing the way we think, dealing with past/present issues, learning how we really want to live etc... We are on, I believe, an excellent path considering the alternative but I have found myself, as you describe yourself, many times at various times.
I'm not doing great emotionally this past few weeks but feel somehow that it is just a stage and that it will pass.
Have you ever looked at one of those maps of the stock market over time that shows how it is a good idea to invest and that, despite fluctuations, the market tends to return dividends over time? I try to view sobriety and the hard interpersonal work as that graph.
Sorry you are down.
Jonathan. (Originally from Mesquite..)
You and I got sober around the same time. I remember you were dealing with legal issues at the time.
I mention the timing because 6 months both feels like eternity when celebrating sobriety but at the same time... Not long at all when changing the way we think, dealing with past/present issues, learning how we really want to live etc... We are on, I believe, an excellent path considering the alternative but I have found myself, as you describe yourself, many times at various times.
I'm not doing great emotionally this past few weeks but feel somehow that it is just a stage and that it will pass.
Have you ever looked at one of those maps of the stock market over time that shows how it is a good idea to invest and that, despite fluctuations, the market tends to return dividends over time? I try to view sobriety and the hard interpersonal work as that graph.
Sorry you are down.
Jonathan. (Originally from Mesquite..)
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
i've had up's down's and a bout of depression in sobriety , that's life …
My past is where it is , i think i mourned for a while about missed opportunity but being sad today because of something that never happened in the past made getting through today difficult .
Getting through today is top priority .
I made amends where i could , tried to understand i was a confused and vulnerable kid who then got saddled with an addiction .
To try and look at myself and my life as if it were someone else i was able to find more sympathy and empathy for that person , in turn forgive myself , i was pretty sick and had to deal with a load of stuff .
I now live in freedom where there is a whole great world of stuff going on
and i'm clear headed enough to make the best of whatever life happens .
keep on ,
m
My past is where it is , i think i mourned for a while about missed opportunity but being sad today because of something that never happened in the past made getting through today difficult .
Getting through today is top priority .
I made amends where i could , tried to understand i was a confused and vulnerable kid who then got saddled with an addiction .
To try and look at myself and my life as if it were someone else i was able to find more sympathy and empathy for that person , in turn forgive myself , i was pretty sick and had to deal with a load of stuff .
I now live in freedom where there is a whole great world of stuff going on
and i'm clear headed enough to make the best of whatever life happens . keep on ,
m
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
When we quit putting alcohol into our system a lot of changes occur. The chemical imbalance in our brains is once again at an imbalance - it's not getting what it's become used to.
The brain changes in many ways as we adjust to sobriety. We must go through this period of adjustment. I know that around six months I sometimes felt like a zombie - just cruising along in auto pilot. Driving down the highway in an almost trance like state sometimes. It was far less than it was at three months.
The brain heals, but it goes through "growing pains" of a sort. People react to it in different ways. Some of us go through periods of melancholy throughout life. Some go through the seasonal changes of mental health.
All I can offer is to ride it out for a spell. Recognize it for what it is. If it continues or gets worse, then I would definitely see a mental health professional. Also keep in mind that our diet affects us physically as well as mentally/emotionally. Make sure you are getting the proper nutrition and exercise. It makes a huge difference in how our body recovers. Eat well and exercise. This doesn't mean joining a gym and getting into a heavy training regimen. It could be as simple as taking walks outside around the block. When you are feeling low and can spare 30 minutes, go for a walk outside. It really makes a difference. Eventually you can turn the walks into something more. Build on it, set a goal of a mile or two. But just a simple walk around the block or wherever does wonders...
AND, congrats on six months. Things will continue to improve.
The brain changes in many ways as we adjust to sobriety. We must go through this period of adjustment. I know that around six months I sometimes felt like a zombie - just cruising along in auto pilot. Driving down the highway in an almost trance like state sometimes. It was far less than it was at three months.
The brain heals, but it goes through "growing pains" of a sort. People react to it in different ways. Some of us go through periods of melancholy throughout life. Some go through the seasonal changes of mental health.
All I can offer is to ride it out for a spell. Recognize it for what it is. If it continues or gets worse, then I would definitely see a mental health professional. Also keep in mind that our diet affects us physically as well as mentally/emotionally. Make sure you are getting the proper nutrition and exercise. It makes a huge difference in how our body recovers. Eat well and exercise. This doesn't mean joining a gym and getting into a heavy training regimen. It could be as simple as taking walks outside around the block. When you are feeling low and can spare 30 minutes, go for a walk outside. It really makes a difference. Eventually you can turn the walks into something more. Build on it, set a goal of a mile or two. But just a simple walk around the block or wherever does wonders...
AND, congrats on six months. Things will continue to improve.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
My version of that has been "what am I gonna DO"???
I go to counseling - though now that I consider it, I've taken a break for quite some time.... I will call for an appointment today.
And to meetings from time to time.
These things help.
Journaling, getting into my own emotions, feelings, thoughts and responses......
I've come to realize I have a mild depression, a moderate anxiety, and those things need tending to.
Stopping drinking and drugs is only the beginning of becoming a whole, deep, full human being. We carry with us lots of things, and we need to unpack those things. We need to get to know ourselves - wounds and mistakes and all.
If we just stop drinking and drugging and then expect to wander around not paying attention to the US within us who we neglected for so long - we will only continue to suffer.
When I read your post, I thought of my own inner child image. The ME who yearned to be loved, cared for, nurtured, defended. It is through spending time with that me, offering him assurance, learning what he cried for.... that I began to heal and grow.
When I read your post, I wondered if perhaps the "I'm sorry" was a sort of unconscious reaction to your own Inner You.... the one inside who you yourself perhaps have neglected for a long while. The You inside who longs to be loved and who has been hurt by your actions and choices.... are you perhaps reflexively apologizing.... to YOU?
Hang in there. Keep sober and keep digging deeper. This is how you will ascend to a more joyous life.
I go to counseling - though now that I consider it, I've taken a break for quite some time.... I will call for an appointment today.
And to meetings from time to time.
These things help.
Journaling, getting into my own emotions, feelings, thoughts and responses......
I've come to realize I have a mild depression, a moderate anxiety, and those things need tending to.
Stopping drinking and drugs is only the beginning of becoming a whole, deep, full human being. We carry with us lots of things, and we need to unpack those things. We need to get to know ourselves - wounds and mistakes and all.
If we just stop drinking and drugging and then expect to wander around not paying attention to the US within us who we neglected for so long - we will only continue to suffer.
When I read your post, I thought of my own inner child image. The ME who yearned to be loved, cared for, nurtured, defended. It is through spending time with that me, offering him assurance, learning what he cried for.... that I began to heal and grow.
When I read your post, I wondered if perhaps the "I'm sorry" was a sort of unconscious reaction to your own Inner You.... the one inside who you yourself perhaps have neglected for a long while. The You inside who longs to be loved and who has been hurt by your actions and choices.... are you perhaps reflexively apologizing.... to YOU?
Hang in there. Keep sober and keep digging deeper. This is how you will ascend to a more joyous life.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 1,518
Iv'e been thinking of this subject . First well done for being sober 6 months .
Iv,e heard the phrase in AA when were sober we face life on lifes terms and could never and still don't know what they mean . Here is what I think it means .
Lets say I had never touched alcohol ,been a non drinker all my life . Would that make me exempt from Neuroticism , Anxiety ,Depression , Fear , Worry, Perfectionism , Selfishness ,Shyness,Pessimism ,Laziness etc etc . ?
It would be unreasonable to think it would so why would I as an alcoholic blame the addiction or rather the substance addicted to for my mental state ?
It is my view ( only my 2 cents worth ) that we already had our personalities with any negative traits , tendencies well established well before we started abusing mind altering substances and it is my view that it was because we were unable or unwilling to face "life on lifes terms" we became excessive users of mind altering substances . So we came to a point where we decide we have caused ourselves and others enough damage we chose to stop by various means . If we are determined enough we are able to stop for however long we are determined enough to be substance free . Then we are back to who we were before we used the substance , older and probably damaged mentally and physically . I think it will take quite some time to heal and I think we need to understand why we started abusing . Personally for me I was painfully shy and fearful and alcohol changed that feeling briefly , that was 45 years ago. The rest of the story is familiar to many .
Thanks
Iv,e heard the phrase in AA when were sober we face life on lifes terms and could never and still don't know what they mean . Here is what I think it means .
Lets say I had never touched alcohol ,been a non drinker all my life . Would that make me exempt from Neuroticism , Anxiety ,Depression , Fear , Worry, Perfectionism , Selfishness ,Shyness,Pessimism ,Laziness etc etc . ?
It would be unreasonable to think it would so why would I as an alcoholic blame the addiction or rather the substance addicted to for my mental state ?
It is my view ( only my 2 cents worth ) that we already had our personalities with any negative traits , tendencies well established well before we started abusing mind altering substances and it is my view that it was because we were unable or unwilling to face "life on lifes terms" we became excessive users of mind altering substances . So we came to a point where we decide we have caused ourselves and others enough damage we chose to stop by various means . If we are determined enough we are able to stop for however long we are determined enough to be substance free . Then we are back to who we were before we used the substance , older and probably damaged mentally and physically . I think it will take quite some time to heal and I think we need to understand why we started abusing . Personally for me I was painfully shy and fearful and alcohol changed that feeling briefly , that was 45 years ago. The rest of the story is familiar to many .
Thanks
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Join Date: May 2016
Location: Northeast WI
Posts: 163
I'm sorry you're feeling down - potential mental health issues can become more obvious in sobriety, I believe. From what I've read, PAWS also peaks at 3-6 months. There could be a few factors at play here.
Look into resources where you live, some therapists figure payment on a sliding scale. It may not hurt to look into talking to a professional, neutral party.
Look into resources where you live, some therapists figure payment on a sliding scale. It may not hurt to look into talking to a professional, neutral party.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Originally Posted by LBrain 
When we quit putting alcohol into our system a lot of changes occur. The chemical imbalance in our brains is once again at an imbalance - it's not getting what it's become used to.
The brain changes in many ways as we adjust to sobriety. We must go through this period of adjustment. I know that around six months I sometimes felt like a zombie - just cruising along in auto pilot. Driving down the highway in an almost trance like state sometimes. It was far less than it was at three months.
The brain heals, but it goes through "growing pains" of a sort. People react to it in different ways. Some of us go through periods of melancholy throughout life. Some go through the seasonal changes of mental health.
All I can offer is to ride it out for a spell. Recognize it for what it is. If it continues or gets worse, then I would definitely see a mental health professional. Also keep in mind that our diet affects us physically as well as mentally/emotionally. Make sure you are getting the proper nutrition and exercise. It makes a huge difference in how our body recovers. Eat well and exercise. This doesn't mean joining a gym and getting into a heavy training regimen. It could be as simple as taking walks outside around the block. When you are feeling low and can spare 30 minutes, go for a walk outside. It really makes a difference. Eventually you can turn the walks into something more. Build on it, set a goal of a mile or two. But just a simple walk around the block or wherever does wonders...
AND, congrats on six months. Things will continue to improve.
The brain changes in many ways as we adjust to sobriety. We must go through this period of adjustment. I know that around six months I sometimes felt like a zombie - just cruising along in auto pilot. Driving down the highway in an almost trance like state sometimes. It was far less than it was at three months.
The brain heals, but it goes through "growing pains" of a sort. People react to it in different ways. Some of us go through periods of melancholy throughout life. Some go through the seasonal changes of mental health.
All I can offer is to ride it out for a spell. Recognize it for what it is. If it continues or gets worse, then I would definitely see a mental health professional. Also keep in mind that our diet affects us physically as well as mentally/emotionally. Make sure you are getting the proper nutrition and exercise. It makes a huge difference in how our body recovers. Eat well and exercise. This doesn't mean joining a gym and getting into a heavy training regimen. It could be as simple as taking walks outside around the block. When you are feeling low and can spare 30 minutes, go for a walk outside. It really makes a difference. Eventually you can turn the walks into something more. Build on it, set a goal of a mile or two. But just a simple walk around the block or wherever does wonders...
AND, congrats on six months. Things will continue to improve.
Remember- it takes 6months to 2yrs for the effects of alcohol to really work through and out of our bodies and minds.
Leading up to three months I found myself ornery and sad, and more easily agitated. Now leading up to four months, the past few weeks have been pink clouds. I expect, like the stock market analogy, things to keep fluctuating. I like the pink clouds a lot but am trying to shore up on my recovery work in anticipation of what might come.
I have just recently started walk/running and plan to do a series of 1 mi run races in July/Aug/Sep. Tiny distance but a big deal for me. Exercise used to be a great mind clearer for me so I want it to be again.
You are doing great- 6mos! Awesome accomplishment. And you are posting honestly here- you know it is safe and you won't be judged. All good things that you are doing- be proud of yourself for that.
One of the things I am also focusing on lately is that whole thing we are taught about sitting with my emotions, but knowing that my emotions are not me, and letting them pass. Hard.
Hang in there and keep going. You can do this!
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 630
Originally Posted by chrcarlson
This is a little weird and maybe not a SR topic but I'm too cheap to pay a shrink. I don't think it that big a deal anyway.
I'm 6 months sober. The past week or so I've been in a funk. I just keep feeling low and "I'm sorry" keeps playing in my head. I'm not saying or thinking it when I'm around anyone. It's just when I'm alone, I did it a few minutes ago. Also I've had a low grade headache and my mind foggy lately. It's like my life didn't turnout the way it should have...I'm sorry. Or maybe I feel guilty about all the stuff I did drunk. PAWS? It's not a big deal but it's not something I can't talk about either. I don't remember having this before. It started recently so I suppose it will go away soon. Just curious if anyone else has had this?
I'm 6 months sober. The past week or so I've been in a funk. I just keep feeling low and "I'm sorry" keeps playing in my head. I'm not saying or thinking it when I'm around anyone. It's just when I'm alone, I did it a few minutes ago. Also I've had a low grade headache and my mind foggy lately. It's like my life didn't turnout the way it should have...I'm sorry. Or maybe I feel guilty about all the stuff I did drunk. PAWS? It's not a big deal but it's not something I can't talk about either. I don't remember having this before. It started recently so I suppose it will go away soon. Just curious if anyone else has had this?
That feeling goes away......it gets better! Really it does....I think for me it was about 9 months. So just hang in there......you are doing great!
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 701
I would get into a funk for a few days every few months, which I contributed to PAWS. It seemed to mimic fairly closely what I had read. But I also remember around that time wondering where all of the energy was that I was supposed to be feeling, and why everything wasn't as perfect as I thought it would be 6 months into sobriety. But the more I read about the brain healing, as well as the experience of others, I realized it was indeed a process that takes time.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Dallas Texas
Posts: 579
Thank you all for your posts. Took a while to respond as I read each at least twice. I've been to councilors twice before and for worse stuff than this. It would have cost $1,000 and weeks to get 1/2 of what I just got for free. You guys give simple straight forward responses. That's what I like and can deal with.
I'm feeling better today and not playing "I'm sorry" as much in my head. I'm trying to work more. That's usually the best solution. Sorry but I'm glad most of you had something similar. So it goes away...Good
Zufrieden- I bought ete at 7.50pps last month. I can relate. It's is more up but drops like a rock at times.
Freeowl- Unpacking-feels like it. Guess I'm not too in touch with my inner child. I really don't have much of a clue about it. I think with time that will change. Unpacking-yes I think so.
Thomas- Yes that was me when younger-35 years ago. Alcohol was magic. Good to think about your post. It's the root of the problem.
I'm feeling better today and not playing "I'm sorry" as much in my head. I'm trying to work more. That's usually the best solution. Sorry but I'm glad most of you had something similar. So it goes away...Good
Zufrieden- I bought ete at 7.50pps last month. I can relate. It's is more up but drops like a rock at times.
Freeowl- Unpacking-feels like it. Guess I'm not too in touch with my inner child. I really don't have much of a clue about it. I think with time that will change. Unpacking-yes I think so.
Thomas- Yes that was me when younger-35 years ago. Alcohol was magic. Good to think about your post. It's the root of the problem.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 1,518
chrcarlson , Im glad your feeling better and you found your thread replies helpful .
I am finding that SR is better than any other therapy or book ( iv'e had CBT twice and read many books ) while CBT helped breifly , the books and web resources are mostly helpful theres nothing to beat hearing it from people who have been or are in the same boat .
Best wishes .
I am finding that SR is better than any other therapy or book ( iv'e had CBT twice and read many books ) while CBT helped breifly , the books and web resources are mostly helpful theres nothing to beat hearing it from people who have been or are in the same boat .
Best wishes .
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
It gets better, as long as we work on our recovery.
Maybe it's time to review your daily work and think what could be added (or likely, what may have slipped by the wayside). I def felt some complacency after I'd managed to stay sober for around 6 months , and I needed to start putting more effort in. Not that it's a massive effort to be honest. Just I forget easily.
Maybe it's time to review your daily work and think what could be added (or likely, what may have slipped by the wayside). I def felt some complacency after I'd managed to stay sober for around 6 months , and I needed to start putting more effort in. Not that it's a massive effort to be honest. Just I forget easily.
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Middletown CT USA
Posts: 770
At six months if someone tells me they feel great all the time i get a bit worried.
I'm no Dr, but I would be reluctant to call that PAWS. After the drugs go and we come out of the fog we start to realize that life without drugs is life. Mood swings and all. Not only that, but we have a lot of regrets and uncertainty about where to go next, so to speak.
The steps and contact with other recovering addicts who had a lot more experience than me helped me through that, and still does when I get in a funk or hit a wall.
I'm no Dr, but I would be reluctant to call that PAWS. After the drugs go and we come out of the fog we start to realize that life without drugs is life. Mood swings and all. Not only that, but we have a lot of regrets and uncertainty about where to go next, so to speak.
The steps and contact with other recovering addicts who had a lot more experience than me helped me through that, and still does when I get in a funk or hit a wall.
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 20
Originally Posted by bunnezjp
Totally normal. Keep going.
~Bunnez
~Bunnez
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