I have the tools to deal with this but feeling guilty
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I have the tools to deal with this but feeling guilty
After allowing some things to bother me for a few days about my daughters choices, I blew up and told her to "get the f--- out". And now she is spending most of her time staying with friends and with her married ex. She just came home from class and took her boys out with her. Its 11:00 and they are 9 months and 2 years old. When pressed, she told me she was going to "his" house. "He" is her 9 month old sons dad. He is married with 4 kids, cheats on his wife (with my daughter) and 2 other women. I ask
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Originally Posted by tate9685 
After allowing some things to bother me for a few days about my daughters choices, I blew up and told her to "get the f--- out". And now she is spending most of her time staying with friends and with her married ex. She just came home from class and took her boys out with her. Its 11:00 and they are 9 months and 2 years old. When pressed, she told me she was going to "his" house. "He" is her 9 month old sons dad. He is married with 4 kids, cheats on his wife (with my daughter) and 2 other women. I ask
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Thanks Scott. I will talk to her tomorrow. I have told her I don't want her male friends hanging out here and don't want them around the babies. She is just so desperate to have a man in her life. Im not going to drink over this. Im really thinking about going back to aa this weekend.
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Glad to hear you aren't planning on drinking, and coming here to talk it through instead is a great choice by you. If AA has helped in the past I think going back would be a great idea too.
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Wow that is a tough situation. I'm not sure what I would do if I were in the same situation with my daughter. Having the little one's to consider makes that tough.
In talking with her, what if you approached things from the angle of being concerned for her (rather than directly pointing out the obvious that she is making terrible choices)? What I mean is, clearly she has extremely low self esteem. Maybe suggesting she get some help, talk with a professional about how to learn to become her own woman. Are you an alcoholic? Were you when she was growing up? As an ACOA myself I have struggled my whole life with very low self esteem and codie behavior. I too have looked to men to 'complete' me or save me.
Just a thought.
In talking with her, what if you approached things from the angle of being concerned for her (rather than directly pointing out the obvious that she is making terrible choices)? What I mean is, clearly she has extremely low self esteem. Maybe suggesting she get some help, talk with a professional about how to learn to become her own woman. Are you an alcoholic? Were you when she was growing up? As an ACOA myself I have struggled my whole life with very low self esteem and codie behavior. I too have looked to men to 'complete' me or save me.
Just a thought.
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