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Relapsed After 230 Days - What Was I Thinking?

Old 06-14-2016, 06:30 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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230 days is a long time for a drunk to be sober.

Great job on 230. AA resets the clock, but your body is the truth.

How do you feel?

Are you like day 1, or did you recover to a state similar to 229 already?

Alcohol is poison. Don't believe the hype.
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Old 06-14-2016, 06:39 PM
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Hey Ghost

Get yourself back in the gym and think about ways of modifying your plan (lots of good suggestions already). You'll be stronger once you get past this slip.
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Old 06-14-2016, 07:25 PM
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Even if i relapse i think i needed that as a reminder that im not missing out on alcohol.

GF,
that's a dangerous thought right there.
leads to the next one: some time in the future i might need another reminder!
or: hm....better check i'm not actually missing anything by not drinking!

how many reminders might be necessary, and at what intervals?

as for re-setting the date: i would. but that's irrelevant. if you don't, you'll be forever saying: i have x numbers of days except for....there will always be that 'except for'.
the thing you might want to give more thought to is that the 230 days you had ended up in a place where drinking wasn't off the table. the 230 days included a drinking option.
this would suggest that the idea of "just do it again" isn't the best way forward without changing the way you've gone about it.
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Old 06-14-2016, 08:18 PM
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Originally Posted by D122y View Post
230 days is a long time for a drunk to be sober. Great job on 230. AA resets the clock, but your body is the truth. How do you feel? Are you like day 1, or did you recover to a state similar to 229 already? Alcohol is poison. Don't believe the hype.
I actually feel great. I'm went to the park and worked out and networked with like minded business partners. I feel good and I'm not ashamed no more that I relapsed. I think it will make me stronger. I already declined 2 invitation to go out to a club. I know that in order for this to work I need to avoid certain people.
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Old 06-14-2016, 11:43 PM
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Hey GF, just wanted to say what's up. Get back up on your horse, don't worry about counters. We're all one sip away from relapse which is why this is so hard but also why doing it is so rewarding. Keep at it and you'll be fine.
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Old 06-15-2016, 12:52 AM
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Good to see you. I'm a fan.
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Old 06-15-2016, 02:25 AM
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I said "except for" for several months after my moderation attempt that failed.

In two days I will have 7 months since that day, and it has become my new Day 1.

However, I do acknowledge to myself that I have accumulated
over four and a half sober years "worth" of days since I first quit.
This overall view helps me to see how far I have come despite setbacks.

I remember when stringing a week of sober days together was nearly impossible.
Now for almost half a decade I have been sober more than drinking,
and I have changed inside to identify with sobriety more than drinking.
So your 230s "count" even if you do or don't count them now.

They are part of your path to recovery.
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Old 06-15-2016, 04:19 AM
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I totally get where you're coming from. I have found that the only way to succeed is complete honesty with myself.

I had 517 days. All days of goodness and learning. I know now what not to do so those days still mean something.

So I now have 38 days of complete and total honesty. Plus, if I made it that far I've shown myself that I can do this and what to stay away from.

You haven't lost that time, you learned.
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Old 06-15-2016, 04:39 AM
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As others have said, where you set your counter is a personal decision. I will share one thing the psychologist talked about in our group in rehab. She said there are "slips" and "relapses" She defined a slip as a mistake, contained to more or less 24 hours, which you immediately realise is a mistake, care that it is a mistake and immediately reach out for help for- which you did by coming here. A relapse she defined as a period of continued drinking, during which you have a "I don't care" attitude about the drinking and do not reach out for help.

Going by this school of thought you slipped up GF. Get back at your sobriety to prevent this from becoming a full blown relapse. Again, as for how you count your days, that is up to you. I personally would want to be fully honest.

We are all here for you. Let go of the girl and concentrate on yourself. Start going to gallery openings or book readings or concerts- cool and cultural events where you will meet beautiful women and interesting friends who are not just in a place to drink.
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Old 06-15-2016, 05:27 AM
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Way to comeback quickly. The relapse could have lasted two days, two weeks, two years, or life. You really kicked the AV's butt by coming here right away and not letting it take much away from you. Learn from your experience while remembering what being sober for 230 days has done for you and move on.
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Old 06-15-2016, 06:02 AM
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Thank you all for your support, this really means a lot to me. I've learned and done more in the past 230 days than I did in 10 years. Sobriety has taught me patience and discipline. Something that I did not have before. I already declined two social events were alcohol will be present. I'm also working on networking and only interacting with like minded individuals. I saw that I was still hanging around bars, clubs and other drinkers. Now I realized that I do not have to chill and hang out. I need to constantly be working and keeping my mind distracted. Idle time is Devils time and I'm working on becoming something becoming the version of myself.
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Old 06-15-2016, 06:22 AM
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Those 230 days aren't gone, but if you value integrity, do the right thing. You will likely be angry at fist, but there will be some pride sprinkled in there because you did the right thing.
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Old 06-16-2016, 07:24 PM
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I quit drinking January 10 2015, I also had a few slips one time in December and another in April. Both were only for a day but I decided to rest my counter each time so I could be honest with myself. I do know I have a year and a half sober but only 69 days continously. Good luck and keep strong.
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Old 06-16-2016, 08:39 PM
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I kind of ride the fence when it comes to calculating sobriety. I counted days the first year, and occasionally go on a sober calculator just to see what I am up to. I understand the concept behind it, and I do agree that it can be a solid motivator. However, sometimes I think that too much emphasis is placed on the accuracy of how many beans are in the jar, with the focus being redirected away from the main issue. Not saying that's what happened in this case, not at all. Its just an observation from numerous questions regarding the subject of counting sober time. Just a 2-cent thought of mine here.
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Old 07-06-2016, 05:44 PM
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How are you, GhostFace?
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Old 07-07-2016, 03:27 AM
  # 36 (permalink)  
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Hello Soberleigh,

Im doing much better, thank you for asking. I slipped up a few more times and now im back on day 3. Enduring alot of pain, getting out my comfort zone and staying productive. This has been a rough week but even when i slip, im able to hold myself accountable and get right back on track.

I will post more details as the day passes.

Thank you for your support
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Old 07-07-2016, 10:17 AM
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It's great to see you, GhostFace. Thank you for your post.

Never forget that we are here for you 24/7/365/100%. Lean on us when you are ready.
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Old 07-07-2016, 04:28 PM
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good to have you back GF

D
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