Notices

Long term drinkers? Still there?

Old 06-14-2016, 10:08 AM
  # 41 (permalink)  
Member
 
jryan19982's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
Usually the 20-somethings come in spurts, then there isnt much in that age group for a while. I think it is smart that the 20-somethings are realizing that hey maybe alcohol isnt exactly what all the commercials lead them to believe. Drinking is hammered home in that college age group and supposedly nothing is wrong going out and getting blasted.
jryan19982 is offline  
Old 06-14-2016, 10:13 AM
  # 42 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 394
I kind of feel stuck in the middle. I'm in my mid-thirties, so past the acceptable partying of my 20s (which I did without drinking alcoholically), yet a bit on the young side for the baby boomers and older Gen X-ers.

For me, it has been about 3 years of heavy binge drinking, but the sad thing is it coincided with me starting a family (had severe postpartum depression on top of my decade-old clinical/chronic depression and coped the wrong way), and that is a whole other level of guilt to deal with.
Babescake is offline  
Old 06-14-2016, 10:17 AM
  # 43 (permalink)  
Member
 
Della1968's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Fingerlakes,NY
Posts: 4,536
I had mostly young kids in my IOP groups. Funny thing I learned more from them than some people twice their age. It will always stay with me that they truly made me realize how much we had in common. Just because they hadn't use as long didn't make the horror of addiction any less for them. An addict is an addict is an addict.
Della1968 is offline  
Old 06-14-2016, 10:17 AM
  # 44 (permalink)  
Member
 
jryan19982's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
Originally Posted by Babescake View Post
I kind of feel stuck in the middle. I'm in my mid-thirties, so past the acceptable partying of my 20s (which I did without drinking alcoholically), yet a bit on the young side for the baby boomers and older Gen X-ers.

For me, it has been about 3 years of heavy binge drinking, but the sad thing is it coincided with me starting a family (had severe postpartum depression on top of my decade-old clinical/chronic depression and coped the wrong way), and that is a whole other level of guilt to deal with.
Do not feel in the middle. It was 32 when I realized I had a problem and now turning 34 sober

Anytime you quit drinking is good! No worries!
jryan19982 is offline  
Old 06-14-2016, 11:17 AM
  # 45 (permalink)  
NA Member - Atheist
 
IvanMike's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Middletown CT USA
Posts: 770
Originally Posted by MovingForward1 View Post
Thanks for the replies, I'm just sorting through these feelings so I appreciate the support.

Ivan Mike, No that doesn't make me 'feel better'. Do you feel better and supportive having posted it? I was looking for ways to relate not compare.
You wanted feedback, I gave it.

Every day I see people talk themselves out of recovery and decide that they are not like other addicts. Then I watch these people use, suffer, and die. I don't mince words.

This disease wants us alone and isolated, and convinces us that we are somehow unique. When I came into NA, I compared myself with other addicts. They used different drugs, they were older, younger, not as smart as I was, they had different experiences, etc.

When I stopped comparing and started to look past the surface issues, I learned to relate at the level of feelings and emotions that all addicts have in common. It was only then that I was able to identify with the very people that would save my life.

Sure, my sponsor is a bit older than me and has similar life experiences, but that's just one relationship in recovery. When I am able to be open minded I hear the message from people I never expected to have anything in common with.

When I find myself feeling different from "those people" in the rooms of NA, I know that I need to check my attitude in a hurry.
IvanMike is offline  
Old 06-14-2016, 11:28 AM
  # 46 (permalink)  
Member
 
uncorked's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 709
Hi MovingForward, I'm 52, female and have been a heavy drinker for over 20 yrs. I quit last October with the help of inpatient rehab. I also wish I would have stopped years ago, but I'm not drinking now and life is good. Even though I'm going through a difficult divorce that I didn't want, being sober gives me a positive mindset and self confidence that I never had when I was drinking.
uncorked is offline  
Old 06-14-2016, 11:34 AM
  # 47 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Midwest
Posts: 44
Yes!!!!!

Originally Posted by chrcarlson View Post
Maybe we should start an over 40 and newly sober thread? I think as older folks we have less pier pressure or at least it's easier to tell someone pushing booze at us to go to hell. We don't have to be the cool kid in high school or college any more. I have fewer friends and am less socially active than when younger. All of my drinking friends have seen or are alcoholics, they don't push it at me and compliment me on not drinking. The more years drinking they likely health effects. Older is a different environment. That being said the commonalities of alcoholism are mostly the same.
Can we do that? --start the over 40 thread, I mean. I am 52 and have been drinking off and on since I was 17 years old. The "off" portions were only when I was pregnant and/or breastfeeding so the "on" sections were much longer

I think the differences are that I work a full time-demanding job as does my husband. We have two kids who have lived with an alcoholic mother all of their lives and it has definitely strained our relationships. My husband has put up with an alcoholic wife for 27 years. These are situations that someone in their 20's or maybe even 30's cannot relate to only because they haven't lived it. I think it would be beneficial to lean on and offer support to folks who have had similar experiences that can only be had by living longer. That's my 2 cents!
STGHealthyWoman is offline  
Old 06-14-2016, 02:31 PM
  # 48 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 29
Thank you so much for this! I'm 25, started at 14 and alcoholicly from the very beggining, always binge drinking on hard liquor like vodka. All the time before I was going out...I was hiding my booze everywhere even in the bathroom to hide....I did not start at parties etc...almost no one of people I know drank at that time and age, I started hiding, and alone....
Reading all replays gives me a lot of hope...I already felt like I wasted my life and feel forever lock in that addiction, since my longest sober time is maybe a month....
I was always blackout drunk...many many regrets, and shame that is so har to forgive myself now. But now for the first time I feel like my life is in front of me and I'm still young, no matter that I feel twice my age....
I'm still at the very beggining of my recovery and I realize I had a problem many years ago...but finally I found some strenght in me to fight for me and my life...And your experience is priceless. I mostly just visit to read here since it gives me a lot of comfort....and I can relate to mostly everyone. For the first time I'm happy that I'm not a unique case (but in some perspevtive everyone is) and I'm not alone. It is not that special, and people overcomes it... Almost half of my short life is wasted, I feel old, but thank you of reminding me to not be that hard on myself, I'm not hopeless, and I still have a lot of live to live!
bringm32lif30 is offline  
Old 06-14-2016, 04:13 PM
  # 49 (permalink)  
Member
 
Venecia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,859
It's human nature, I think, how we can all read different things into our world on SR.

I didn't join the first time I encountered SR. I saw posts about broken teeth, jail, marriages threatened by alcohol. I thought "I couldn't be that bad."

In retrospect, it's pretty clear that my addiction was calling the shots. I'm sure I was mentally cherry-picking what resonated with me as a way of avoiding doing anything about my alcoholism.

I got sober on my own about three months later. Two months after that, I was struggling mightily and decided to revisit "that" website. Turns out, I saw a lot of me in the posts I read that night.

I've reached an age where I'm sensitive about my age. Suffice to say, it takes more than five fingers to count the number of presidents elected in my lifetime. And I spent too much of my life either drinking (and more than a "normie") or transitioning to alcoholism, the latter lasting somewhere between 12 and 15 years.

And while I still feel we all have more that unites us than categorizes us, I've actually felt differently about what needs arise at certain ages as I've read the posts from the younger alcoholics among us. Those at a time in their lives when bars and parties are what young people *should* be able to enjoy. Those for whom the emphasis on alcohol in colleges, which I'm convinced is worse than ever, has resulted in addiction.

While I continue to believe we all have more in common than not, I've occasionally wished there was a thread, perhaps something similar to the Weekenders, for the young alcoholics.
Venecia is offline  
Old 06-14-2016, 04:29 PM
  # 50 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Go for it STG. Sounds like there'd be a lot of interest.
entropy1964 is offline  
Old 06-14-2016, 04:46 PM
  # 51 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 394
Originally Posted by Venecia View Post
It's human nature, I think, how we can all read different things into our world on SR.

I didn't join the first time I encountered SR. I saw posts about broken teeth, jail, marriages threatened by alcohol. I thought "I couldn't be that bad."

In retrospect, it's pretty clear that my addiction was calling the shots. I'm sure I was mentally cherry-picking what resonated with me as a way of avoiding doing anything about my alcoholism.

I got sober on my own about three months later. Two months after that, I was struggling mightily and decided to revisit "that" website. Turns out, I saw a lot of me in the posts I read that night.

I've reached an age where I'm sensitive about my age. Suffice to say, it takes more than five fingers to count the number of presidents elected in my lifetime. And I spent too much of my life either drinking (and more than a "normie") or transitioning to alcoholism, the latter lasting somewhere between 12 and 15 years.

And while I still feel we all have more that unites us than categorizes us, I've actually felt differently about what needs arise at certain ages as I've read the posts from the younger alcoholics among us. Those at a time in their lives when bars and parties are what young people *should* be able to enjoy. Those for whom the emphasis on alcohol in colleges, which I'm convinced is worse than ever, has resulted in addiction.

While I continue to believe we all have more in common than not, I've occasionally wished there was a thread, perhaps something similar to the Weekenders, for the young alcoholics.
Girl, you can't be THAT old then. I'm 35 and I have 5 presidents under my belt now too. From what I hear, we are the new 20? (Well, 40 is but no way am I expecting that.) Sorry, just had to have fun with ya.
Babescake is offline  
Old 06-14-2016, 04:57 PM
  # 52 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 394
Honestly, I hope a thread for the "older" crowd isn't created. Should we create a thread for the "younger" crowd too? Where do I fall? I'm exactly mid-thirties and relate on more than one spectrum. And a lot of us fell into alcoholism at different points in our lives.

Say a 50 year-old just became an unexpected widow. Descent into alcoholism for 2 years. Seeks help here. Where should this person turn? To the 20s age group because they, too, are new to sobriety, or at least looking at its benefits? Or maybe they want to connect with others their age, despite the amount of time they have had in sobriety or the years they were an alcoholic before beginning sobriety?

I think this is useless. We are all here for a common goal. It is our life experiences, different ages, cultural differences and multi-opinions that makes this place a community. We form a common bond through this disease. We might differ and even not like each other in real life if we met and this wasn't a grasp that held us clenched together. But I don't want that. This shows me how none of are different from one another. Our experiences/feelings/choices/questions, despite the path taken to get there, are at the same sticking point. We are alcoholics. Period.
Babescake is offline  
Old 06-14-2016, 04:58 PM
  # 53 (permalink)  
Member
 
Venecia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,859
Well, honey, I *did* say that it takes more than five fingers to count the presidents. Didn't say how many more than five!
Venecia is offline  
Old 06-14-2016, 07:53 PM
  # 54 (permalink)  
Member
 
chrcarlson's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Dallas Texas
Posts: 579
I read a lot of threads and have enjoyed this one. I like reading posts from those around my age and older. I wouldn't want to exclude anyone from posting any where. I don't have experience getting sober at 20 or 30 and never will. I quit 6 months ago at 53. It's just nice to know there are others like me, i'm not alone.
chrcarlson is offline  
Old 06-14-2016, 08:00 PM
  # 55 (permalink)  
Member
 
Jsbodhi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Originally Posted by Babescake View Post
Honestly, I hope a thread for the "older" crowd isn't created. Should we create a thread for the "younger" crowd too? Where do I fall? I'm exactly mid-thirties and relate on more than one spectrum. And a lot of us fell into alcoholism at different points in our lives.

Say a 50 year-old just became an unexpected widow. Descent into alcoholism for 2 years. Seeks help here. Where should this person turn? To the 20s age group because they, too, are new to sobriety, or at least looking at its benefits? Or maybe they want to connect with others their age, despite the amount of time they have had in sobriety or the years they were an alcoholic before beginning sobriety?

I think this is useless. We are all here for a common goal. It is our life experiences, different ages, cultural differences and multi-opinions that makes this place a community. We form a common bond through this disease. We might differ and even not like each other in real life if we met and this wasn't a grasp that held us clenched together. But I don't want that. This shows me how none of are different from one another. Our experiences/feelings/choices/questions, despite the path taken to get there, are at the same sticking point. We are alcoholics. Period.
I totally agree.
Will we next have a black and white thread?
Jsbodhi is offline  
Old 06-14-2016, 08:01 PM
  # 56 (permalink)  
Member
 
Delilah1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,021
Originally Posted by MovingForward1 View Post
I hope this doesn't come across wrong. I'm in my 40's. Been drinking 20 plus years, daily (with the exception of the sobriety attempts lasting short periods here and there). On day 3 but struggling as always.

I'm struggling to relate to a lot of the stories on here as of late, coming from 20 somethings trying to get sober. I don't want to diminish anyone's experience and I WISH I had been smart enough to look for help a couple decades ago, but I didn't. I feel like I see the same thing in the rooms, and it just doesn't resonate with me.

Am I being ridiculous? I read over and over ' I've been drinking heavily for 3 years, 5 years, 2 years, etc'. How can that person possibly relate to me? I've been drinking heavily for 20 plus years, how do I adapt?

Sorry if this is rude, please let me know if you have any feedback, from young, middle and older age alike.

Still moving forward, better than going nowhere, just looking for my place.
Hello Fellow Forty Something! I am 45, and have five and a half months sober. Like you I drank for well over 20 years, actually closer to 30. I remained sober during my pregnancies, and while nursing my kids, and had sporadic periods of sobriety, but this is my longest.

There are many of us on here who stopped at this age. I am currently sitting at the airport with my kids waiting for a red eye flight to NY. Last year we were sitting in a bar/restaurant at the airport so Mommy could have a glass or two of wine before boarding. This year is much better. We all have books, coloring, and of course technology, and it will make the flight, and the time change much better.

It isn't always easy, but it does get easier, and I promise it is worth it!!

Welcome to SR! We old folks rock!!!
Delilah1 is offline  
Old 06-15-2016, 01:52 AM
  # 57 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 380
I've had no internet due to storms and am just now catching up. So thankful for all the responses. There is a lot of good feedback here, and it's giving me some things to think over. By no means am I considering that my age difference with many is a reason to go back to drinking, and it's great to see the responses that I'm not alone in my thoughts. Hearing from people different than you has its benefits. As does hearing from people in the same genre.

Day 4 is going well. I can't change my current state in life so I'll move forward with it and keep working.
MovingForward1 is offline  
Old 06-15-2016, 02:08 AM
  # 58 (permalink)  
Do your best
 
Soberwolf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Congratulations on day 4
Soberwolf is offline  
Old 06-15-2016, 05:50 AM
  # 59 (permalink)  
Member
 
JimmyJam's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Hill Country, Texas
Posts: 228
Keep working it MF1. I am almost 54 and drank heavy since 18. Wake up sober everyday. You won't regret it.......Jimmy
JimmyJam is offline  
Old 06-15-2016, 05:54 AM
  # 60 (permalink)  
Member
 
tomsteve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
48,11 years sober after 23 years of drinking here

and very dam glad to see people of any age getting sober,.
plus if I readf and listen I can relate to the 20 somethings,too.
tomsteve is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:15 AM.