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Long term drinkers? Still there?

Old 06-14-2016, 03:42 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Hello movingforward. I'm in my late 50's and have been a daily drinker for the better part of 40 years. Today marks my 9th month sober. I'm feeling great and am in a much better mental and physical state condition than I've been since I can remember. I'm looking forward to the last third of my life and want to really enjoy it in the best shape I can. A month ago I was at Mt. Everest Base Camp after doing a trek there. I never would have even considered doing that if I was still drinking. You'll hear here often that it gets better. Believe that when you hear it. It's true.

Good luck on your journey and stay close to SR. It's a great place for support.
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Old 06-14-2016, 04:16 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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This has all so helpful. Thanks for taking time to respond.

MIRecovery, I'm not disillusioned, I know I'm an alcoholic, just looking to relate.
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Old 06-14-2016, 04:31 AM
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I just turned 60, and started a new career as a yoga teacher last year. I drank for decades. Now sober for 3 1/2 years. I'm healthier than I've ever been in my entire life. Feel grounded and happy and the plan is to stay this way forever. Why would I ever want to go back ?

Good luck on your journey. Recovery is worth every effort you put towards it . If this long term drinker can do it, anyone can.
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Old 06-14-2016, 04:42 AM
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I drank for over 35 years but didn't get sober until I was 50. I began to rebuild my life.....5 years later and still sober and still rebuilding my life!

You CAN do it, too!!
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Old 06-14-2016, 04:52 AM
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Actually most people that finally are able to reach sobriety are later in life, in the 45-60 range. AA and other recovery sites have shown the most common age range for their organizations.
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Old 06-14-2016, 05:20 AM
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MovingForward1, The problem with kids these days is they just don't stick with things. They don't have the roughness or the ability to face adversity like older folks do. I drank for 35 years, had 5 DUI's and many other problems. They maybe be smarter than us but they can't take a beating like we can

I'm 6 months sober. We have many more years of the addiction but also more years seeing what it does. Knowledge of the affects keeps me sober. It's a big change when you spend so many years doing something.

You can quit. The first week is the toughest. Plan on doing something to distract yourself during your normal drinking hours. Look at yourself in a mirror then do it again in 14 days, you'll look 5 or 10 years younger. It gets easier with every passing week-they say habits take 30 days to form or break. Don't decide you feel better of have gone X days and "reward" yourself.
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Old 06-14-2016, 05:30 AM
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Maybe we should start an over 40 and newly sober thread? I think as older folks we have less pier pressure or at least it's easier to tell someone pushing booze at us to go to hell. We don't have to be the cool kid in high school or college any more. I have fewer friends and am less socially active than when younger. All of my drinking friends have seen or are alcoholics, they don't push it at me and compliment me on not drinking. The more years drinking they likely health effects. Older is a different environment. That being said the commonalities of alcoholism are mostly the same.
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Old 06-14-2016, 05:39 AM
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It's why I need a fellow practicing vegan, carnivore identified, slightly introverted, "INFP Type" feminist, left leaning, nocturnal,cross-addicted, agnostic, cisgendered, bibliophile- "of a certain age"- in recovery.


That is hilarious
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Old 06-14-2016, 05:45 AM
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MovingForward1, The problem with kids these days is they just don't stick with things. They don't have the roughness or the ability to face adversity like older folks do. I drank for 35 years, had 5 DUI's and many other problems. They maybe be smarter than us but they can't take a beating like we can

That's a huge generalization. I don't see that at all and I have a 15 year old. I don't think 'kids' have changed that much or that old people are any stronger. It takes great courage to get sober. I think the number of young people trying is awesome. They face a different set of circumstances, but recovery is recovery. The internet and maybe more enlightened parents (like my generation) have made the younger folks more 'aware' of their problem. That is a great thing.

The problem, as I see it, in creating a forum that is narrow in scope is it keeps those posting in it narrow in scope. For me, in recovery, it is important to be able to learn from everyone and keep my mind open and willing.

And, if us old folks gravitate to the 'Florida' forum (hehe) how can we share our experience, strength and hope with the younger generation? We have much to pass on and if we can touch just one 25 yr old? Maybe that person doesn't have to suffer another 25 years.

Just my perspective.
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Old 06-14-2016, 05:49 AM
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I do understand what you're saying. I am in my 50's and have been drinking forever. Alcoholically for maybe 12 years...but heavily before that.

If your meeting is all 'young' people, find a different meeting. If you come across a post that you can't relate too, read on. There are tons of us 'old' folks here.

Imagine if you gain some sober time, learn a few things, what you can do to help that struggling 'young' person. Isn't that what its all about?
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Old 06-14-2016, 05:58 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Hi MF....Interesting point- I do think that terminal uniqueness is something we all need to consider in our recovery process.

I am 39 - 40 this summer- and have some of the same regrets others mention (I just tallied up, yesterday, an estimate of what I would have made in the 8 yrs since my jumping off a cliff into the descent of alcoholism and it got worse and worse and...ouch, big time) but I cannot focus on that. Or that I don't have kids or my own family, like most of my friends. Or...but these are my issues and I definitely like to see young people getting things in hand early.

Also - percentage wise of, say, a 19 yr old's life - if he's been drinking since, say, 13...well...maybe not all that different than any of us who started our problem drinking later and got into recovery later.

I find that I relate to many ages. My sponsor is 54, almost 3 yrs sober, and an African American woman who votes Democratic, has a 10yr old daughter, is from upstate NY and prefers intellectual Jewish men (though she's rethinking that strategy in sobriety) and....this ain't much like me at all. One of my closest program friends is a former weed dealer who had a rockin' business, then got into pills and drinking, and is 10 yrs sober at 59. Another is a matriarch of an extremely wealthy (like, names on building weathy) Atlanta family. Another good friend is 27 with a dad who long supported her pill habit and...see my point?

I like a broad audience and look for commonalities, but not commiseration, and diversity but not divisiveness.
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Old 06-14-2016, 06:05 AM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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I am 57 years old, sober and recovering for 1 year and 5 1/2 months and onward.

Had my first drink at 14 yrs and by the time I was 26 yrs I admitted I was a full blown alcoholic, my life was chaotic and pain filled, I sought recovery and stayed sober for 6 years until I relapsed for the next 22 ish years.

Kudo's to anyone pursuing a better way to live. I am of the mind that young, old or in between, we all have something to offer.

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Old 06-14-2016, 06:05 AM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Frickaflip233 View Post
[B]
The problem, as I see it, in creating a forum that is narrow in scope is it keeps those posting in it narrow in scope. For me, in recovery, it is important to be able to learn from everyone and keep my mind open and willing.

And, if us old folks gravitate to the 'Florida' forum (hehe) how can we share our experience, strength and hope with the younger generation? We have much to pass on and if we can touch just one 25 yr old? Maybe that person doesn't have to suffer another 25 years.

Just my perspective.
But just because you post in one forum, doesn't mean you can't post in others..lots of people here post in multiple forums I've noticed!
A forum for over 40s sounds great...because just like the youth have their age specific problems, and how it affects their drinking habits, so do us oldies.
I didn't drink probmatically in my 20s so can only imagine how hard it would be to give up when all my friends liked to party...but that isn't a problem for me now. What is a problem is coming to terms with what I have wasted of my life drinking, that my kids have flown the nest, divorce, making new friends at my age, finding a job at my age , dealing with more deaths of family and friends as we get older, parents, siblings, spouses, dealing with more health problems.

And would be nice finding people also in middle age and beyond and talking about how they deal with this stuff.
While I do read posts from younger people struggling I can only really relate my experiences NOW, with people of similar age and drinking experiences.
I sympathize with mother and fathers struggling with kids and their addictions, I sympathize with the youngsters needing to be young and struggling with addiction, but I Empathize with people in similar situations to me.
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Old 06-14-2016, 06:27 AM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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Funny. Usually we hear from 20-somethings who think everyone on this board is "too old".

I was 36 when I got sober. Drank for 18 years non-stop, drank a lot while I was at it. Had withdrawal seizures, hospitalization, lost job and went broke - the whole 9 yards.

Been sober almost 4 years now. It's not easy the first year, but it's totally worth it. There are no shortcuts. If this was easy, everyone would do it. But it's not, that's why we all lament how difficult it was to push through those first few months. Sobriety WILL become the new normal for you. Eventually. Right now you are going to feel like the "new kid" in school every day you wake up for a while.

You are going to be learning how to live like a sober adult. You're smart, you can do it! Stay close and keep posting. Good luck.
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Old 06-14-2016, 06:49 AM
  # 35 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Frickaflip233 View Post
The problem, as I see it, in creating a forum that is narrow in scope is it keeps those posting in it narrow in scope. For me, in recovery, it is important to be able to learn from everyone and keep my mind open and willing.

And, if us old folks gravitate to the 'Florida' forum (hehe) how can we share our experience, strength and hope with the younger generation? We have much to pass on and if we can touch just one 25 yr old? Maybe that person doesn't have to suffer another 25 years.

Just my perspective.
MovingForward, congrats on three days and keep on keeping on! I'm 53 years and grateful to have finally found peace.

Frickaflip, I'm just going to read what you wrote in each thread and quote it and agree. I find you to be the angel of removing one of my character defects. What I need a million words in order to say you sum up nicely in far less.
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Old 06-14-2016, 06:50 AM
  # 36 (permalink)  
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I haven't read the entire thread, but the only one you have to relate to, or be concerned about is MovingForward1. Period. 20 years is a pretty good stint of regular drinking. It would be wise to quit drinking while it is still a choice, as your health may decline rapidly if you continue. I wish you the best.
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Old 06-14-2016, 06:52 AM
  # 37 (permalink)  
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I also struggle with this issue. I came back to AA at age 55, now almost 2 years sober. Always thinking about all the could haves, would haves, should haves.

One thing I like to keep in mind to help fight these negative thoughts:
Dr. Bob was 55 years old when he got sober!
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Old 06-14-2016, 06:53 AM
  # 38 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by bigsombrero View Post
Funny. Usually we hear from 20-somethings who think everyone on this board is "too old".
I think that plays into the "terminal uniqueness" concept that just about all of us suffer from as alcoholics, no matter how old we are. It doesn't really matter how old you are, your addiction will come up with some reason why you should keep drinking, right?

To the OP - I started drinking occasionally around age 15 or so and was a daily drinker by age 18. I finally quit for good when I was 42 so that's about 8760 consecutive days of drinking. And it was definitely not "too late" to quit...it was the best decision I've ever made.
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Old 06-14-2016, 06:56 AM
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Originally Posted by MovingForward1 View Post

Sorry if this is rude, please let me know if you have any feedback, from young, middle and older age alike.
Heavy drinker and other things added for around 40 years.
Been sober for 8 years this time around.
No more testing the waters for this guy.
I have been burned enough.
AA, church and a good wife help to keep me on sober track.
A nice sober day wished for all,
Bob
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Old 06-14-2016, 07:14 AM
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I'm in my early 40s and have been drinking for most of the last 20 years. I went through rehab for the first time when I was 25, and I do remember some of the older folks talking about a lot of wreckage and regret that I didn't have the experience to relate to exactly...but the struggle is basically the same. I feel similar now, in that I have a lot of regret about missing out on most of the last 20 years of my life, and I have a feeling this regret will get stronger and more real as I get sober time.

So I guess there is generally a difference in terms of whats been lost, but I don't think age necessarily is the dividing factor. One can lose a lot from drinking and using and still be quite early in their life. I also think its good to share our experiences with younger people as cautionary tales to try to help them recover before they lose so much of their lives to this affliction too. At the same time there are plenty of people past their 20s who are here too so I think there's plenty all of us can relate to all around.
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