tonib

A guy I use to date contacted me and said he wants to see me when he get back in town. He drinks a lot but not a alcoholic but does often drink. He says when he comes by he want drink but he's house is full of all the booze an alcoholic could want. Even though he's not going to drink when coming over I still feel nervous about this situation. I know I can't go visit him at his house yet until I'm stronger but any advice is really needed. Just a reminder I just hot 16 days sober. Thanks

kittycat3

Hi toniB, are you confident you can stay sober when you see him? Personally I've had to say no to things like that - hanging out with heavy drinkers and people I used to drink with. It doesn't have to be forever but 16 days is early sobriety....put yourself first!

Venecia

Toni, you had a victory last night when you didn't drink. Which is awesome!

You're 16 days sober. I wouldn't even consider dating anyone at this early point. Concentrate on yourself and your sobriety.

ScottFromWI

I think you know the answer to this one...run, do not walk, in the other direction.

blueberry2015

At 16 days sober Id run a mile personally, thats not to say you cant meet again when you have more sobriety under your belt, but this early on in I feel its way to risky x x x

tonib

I think I will wait to see him.. I just don't think I'm strong enough because every time we hung out we usually had a few drinks or I was already drunk. Just don't think it's a good ideal even though he said he want drink around me I still think it may trigger a strong craving in a strange way.

chickippo

I met my partner at 17 days sober. I didn't know then that 2 years later I would still be sober. he's a drinker. well, he was. things got to the point where I was prepared to walk away if nothing changed. I don't know what he does when he's not with me but he does now respect my boundaries and doesn't drink around me.

we're due to move in together later this year. I honestly don't know if that will really happen - I am VERY broken mentally and emotionally. I'm thinking of asking my doctor for ECT to try and fix me a bit - but I still haven't had a drink.

please value yourself. you are worth so much - too much to be around someone who can't respect your boundaries. this guy might - but if he can't or won't you should hold on for something better.

SoberLife90

If you go back to drinking you may never get sober again. Probably best you avoid the situation.

hellrzr

What does your AA sponsor say about it? If you don't have one yet I would highly suggest attending AA, getting a sponsor, and asking for direction on this issue.

Jsbodhi

I probably wouldn't go xoxoxo

Mountainmanbob

Alcoholics are usually the last ones to admit that they are alcoholic.
With your 16 days sober -- this sounds to be a very slippery place?
MB

Leshar

Regardless of his drinking or not, it seems a bit cheeky to just contact you and say he wants to see you. How did you end things before? Consider yourself and don't be too conveniently available to him.

kittycat3

Smart choice Toni!!!

Forward12

I would just let him know about your sobriety and having alcohol around is out of the question if you want to hang out. If he's a good friend, he will respect that.