I need to relax
 

I need to relax, but have found myself a bit restless these last few days. I can't say things are going terribly, because they're not at all...but they're not where I want to be quite yet.

I am happy to say I have finished my work release/community service hours. I am about half way through this DUI program thing I am in now and to my surprise I have been kind of enjoying the time there and meeting people who are in the same boat that I am in. Now my focus can stay on finishing these last 7 weeks of the DUI program and finding a job.

Finding a job...that's whats got me stressed out lately(once again, I know). I haven't been working for about 5-6 weeks now and it is driving me insane already. I have been picking up some hobbies and things to do but at the end of the day knowing that it isn't helping me meet my financial goals is troubling to me.

I am still waiting on unemployment. Found out I need to wait to apply until next Friday because you can't file more than two claims in a year in California--my last layoff occurred last June. I have myself worried about how its going to work out with that. I am 99% certain there is no basis to deny me, I was laid off, regardless of my temporary status with that company(was supposed to be temp-to-hire)...things should be okay. But my mind wanders and has me worried once again.

These last couple of days I have been fervently applying to places again in my field. I haven't been finding much locally, but now that I know what is exactly going on with my license I am going to start trying to apply further out in the Los Angeles area as well(which is the region I live in).

I am just hoping this misdemeanor isn't going to be an issue is all. Just trying to remind myself a lot of people have them and jobs to go along with them.

Well...just felt like I needed to write this out. I am a worry-wart..I know.

For the newcomers...if you haven't got a DUI yet, please don't put yourself in the circumstance of getting one. Learn from people like me...they are not fun, they can cost you some money, and they put a lot of anxiety on your plate when you're dealing with it and finding a job at the same time.


I am just glad I am further today than where I was just a few weeks ago.

Seven weeks are going to fly by. And like I've told you before I have two DUIs. The second one when I was sitting for the CPA exam. I had to disclose that to the Board of Accountancy when I passed. There was no problem. I also have never had a problem since getting a job.

Let the anxiety go. Its going to work out.

There will always be things that we can worry about if we want to. The list you made of things going on in your life are stressful and time consuming to be certain, but once they are complete there will be a full list of new things once again. Life is not "easy" and especially for those who are addicts, we want instant gratification. We are no different once we quit drinking, we just start obsessing/worrying about something else - which it seems you are doing and you also recognize you are doing it.

That's why you hear so much about things like the Serentity Prayer, Mindfulness, etc in sobriety - because they all focus on taking things one at a time and not worrying about what we cannot control - which includes the future, the past, other people, the weather, etc. I struggle with the same issue and many of us do, my "tool" has been learning to try and be mindful of keeping in the "now" and trying different types of meditation, relaxation. Keeping organized/making lists helps me too. You can not only get satisfaction when things are marked as "done" but you can also cross things off that you have no control over. In the list of things you have in your OP there are several you could simply cross off because you cannot control or influence them in any way. And then move on to things you can control!

I find myself always obsessing on what I cannot control. Wish I knew how to make it stop during times like these. My mind likes to wander into the what-ifs rather than the what I can.

Yon cannot "stop" your mind from doing anything. In fact, if you try it usually makes you obsess about the very thing you are trying to avoid.

You can, however, START thinking about something else more positive. And eventually that new thought process will shove the bad thoughts out the door. It's a concept I heard on an anxiety podcast once and it really can work.

Practice gratitude in your life. I started, upon a suggestion when I was feeling unsettled in my sobriety. Now it's changed my whole outlook, I'm much more positive and less worried. :)

Positive thoughts, practising gratitude and staying present are wonderful methods of dealing with anxiety and feelings of dread. I started using these techniques some years ago and my outlook went from someone who worried a lot especially about what people thought of me, how I was performing etc. to being confident and assured. Around the same time, I embarked upon a spiritual search. As my spiritual beliefs became stronger, it became easier to practise these techniques. Now, I understand that you can't create a spiritual belief out of nothing, but if you have any spiritual or religious belief, it can help to back up these wonderful techniques. I believe this is what the higher power concept in AA works so well. The idea of giving something fearful over to a power stronger than yourself and trusting that somehow it will be dealt with is (perversely) empowering.

Almost as though we would rather live in our heads than in the real world, isn't it? I do the same thing. I just have to constantly, over and over, a hundred, a thousand times a day, bring my mind back to the present. Sometimes it helps to think "Doing the dishes" or "Driving now." Or whatever it is. You get the idea.

Eek that uneasy restlessness , I relate to this feeling Sobersccountant .
the advise offered to you will apply to me too lets listen and apply .

Peace