So This is my Second Attempt at Writing this..
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 10
So This is my Second Attempt at Writing this..
So having had a few drinks and allowing myself to actually think about my feelings and my possible *problem* I decided to head to Google to see what it could suggest and it came up with this site so I decided to give it a go and to see what people suggest, So I guess I'll just start.
I'm 19 years old. I can imagine some react thinking *I'm so young* etc and that's what partly puts me off finding help or advice.
I, like many other people went through a pretty traumatic experience at school that resulted in me going to Counselling. I however never actually spoke to my counsellor about school or the experience of bullying etc and instead distracted her by talking about my parents (which in fact I've never had any problems with). I don't really know how it happened but I, at age 15 began sneaking my dad's whiskey, beer, wine, to be honest anything that had a % and replacing what I drank with water and I assume getting drunk enough to pass out/fall asleep easily (again as I said I don't really remember much of the experience).
I've noticed as I've gotten older, I now cannot have "Just one Drink". And I mean if I have a glass of wine at dinner, that's it, I have to have 2 or three and then maybe move onto whiskey or beer, anything that's around. Not to mention sometimes sneaking out to the shop and buying myself bottles of wine, cider or beer once I turned 18. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
I remember my drinking became more severe when I began fooling around at college with the boyfriend who had made my life hell at school. I'd believed I was "in love with him" and I'd pre-drink one or even two bottles of wine at 10-11am before going to his. This was a theme that continued on and off through out my college years, with other men. I'm now 19 and working and in a stable relationship, however I've noticed the lack of control I have when drinking. When I go clubbing or to a bar or even out to dinner with the family (or even just at home with dinner) I spend the entire time wondering when my next drink will come. If I'm stressed about work or my boyfriend I'll drink to try and forget about it. The worst experience I've had recently, as in the last month, was when me and my partner had gone out for drinks and crashed at his and I snuck out to the kitchen and snuck four or five large shots of his housemates vodka, something I've never told anyone.
What I'm asking for advice on is, is this a problem? or am I just "A typical teenager". My boyfriend asked me to try and give up for 1 month as he's concerned about my drinking and I lasted 3 days. The truth is, I can't imagine my life without alcohol. I enjoy who I become when I drink and the sensation of drinking. I've considered going to AA in my area but I worry do I actually have a problem? or am I overreacting? Is it normal to always want more more more?
I guess any opinions or advice or personal stories will help because I feel so lost.
I'm sorry for babbling, but this is genuinely the first time I've written this all done or allowed myself to think about it or seek help.
Thank you.
I'm 19 years old. I can imagine some react thinking *I'm so young* etc and that's what partly puts me off finding help or advice.
I, like many other people went through a pretty traumatic experience at school that resulted in me going to Counselling. I however never actually spoke to my counsellor about school or the experience of bullying etc and instead distracted her by talking about my parents (which in fact I've never had any problems with). I don't really know how it happened but I, at age 15 began sneaking my dad's whiskey, beer, wine, to be honest anything that had a % and replacing what I drank with water and I assume getting drunk enough to pass out/fall asleep easily (again as I said I don't really remember much of the experience).
I've noticed as I've gotten older, I now cannot have "Just one Drink". And I mean if I have a glass of wine at dinner, that's it, I have to have 2 or three and then maybe move onto whiskey or beer, anything that's around. Not to mention sometimes sneaking out to the shop and buying myself bottles of wine, cider or beer once I turned 18. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
I remember my drinking became more severe when I began fooling around at college with the boyfriend who had made my life hell at school. I'd believed I was "in love with him" and I'd pre-drink one or even two bottles of wine at 10-11am before going to his. This was a theme that continued on and off through out my college years, with other men. I'm now 19 and working and in a stable relationship, however I've noticed the lack of control I have when drinking. When I go clubbing or to a bar or even out to dinner with the family (or even just at home with dinner) I spend the entire time wondering when my next drink will come. If I'm stressed about work or my boyfriend I'll drink to try and forget about it. The worst experience I've had recently, as in the last month, was when me and my partner had gone out for drinks and crashed at his and I snuck out to the kitchen and snuck four or five large shots of his housemates vodka, something I've never told anyone.
What I'm asking for advice on is, is this a problem? or am I just "A typical teenager". My boyfriend asked me to try and give up for 1 month as he's concerned about my drinking and I lasted 3 days. The truth is, I can't imagine my life without alcohol. I enjoy who I become when I drink and the sensation of drinking. I've considered going to AA in my area but I worry do I actually have a problem? or am I overreacting? Is it normal to always want more more more?
I guess any opinions or advice or personal stories will help because I feel so lost.
I'm sorry for babbling, but this is genuinely the first time I've written this all done or allowed myself to think about it or seek help.
Thank you.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Welcome, and I'm glad you found us and posted.
Is alcohol causing problems in your life? If so, stopping drinking is the solution. It's really up to you to decide if you are an alcoholic or not, but if you cannot stop drinking once you start, that's a big red flag. If you intend to stop drinking for a month, and only manage 3 days, that's very telling.
It's understandable that you can't imagine a life without alcohol. That is the obsession of the mind which is part of alcoholism. In fact, most of us here had trouble imagining life without alcohol, but if you look around, you will see it's possible and in fact, wonderful.
Is alcohol causing problems in your life? If so, stopping drinking is the solution. It's really up to you to decide if you are an alcoholic or not, but if you cannot stop drinking once you start, that's a big red flag. If you intend to stop drinking for a month, and only manage 3 days, that's very telling.
It's understandable that you can't imagine a life without alcohol. That is the obsession of the mind which is part of alcoholism. In fact, most of us here had trouble imagining life without alcohol, but if you look around, you will see it's possible and in fact, wonderful.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome to Sober Recovery.
I can't tell you if you are an alcoholic or not. But your relationship with alcohol, your feelings for it, and your difficulty in quitting are red flags.
I started drinking when I was 18. Partied and thought I was a typical young man drinking and having a good time. When I quit, 35 years later, I soon realized that all the signs of my alcoholism where there, at the very beginning.
I just ignored them.
I can't tell you if you are an alcoholic or not. But your relationship with alcohol, your feelings for it, and your difficulty in quitting are red flags.
I started drinking when I was 18. Partied and thought I was a typical young man drinking and having a good time. When I quit, 35 years later, I soon realized that all the signs of my alcoholism where there, at the very beginning.
I just ignored them.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 151
if you decide that alcohol has a net negative impact on your life, you can quit. check out SMART Recovery's "cost-benefit analysis":
http://www.smartrecovery.org/resourc..._Worksheet.pdf
that might help you clarify things in your mind: what you like about drinking, what you don't like about it, etc.
http://www.smartrecovery.org/resourc..._Worksheet.pdf
that might help you clarify things in your mind: what you like about drinking, what you don't like about it, etc.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 10
Originally Posted by Anna 
Welcome, and I'm glad you found us and posted.
Is alcohol causing problems in your life? If so, stopping drinking is the solution. It's really up to you to decide if you are an alcoholic or not, but if you cannot stop drinking once you start, that's a big red flag. If you intend to stop drinking for a month, and only manage 3 days, that's very telling.
It's understandable that you can't imagine a life without alcohol. That is the obsession of the mind which is part of alcoholism. In fact, most of us here had trouble imagining life without alcohol, but if you look around, you will see it's possible and in fact, wonderful.
Is alcohol causing problems in your life? If so, stopping drinking is the solution. It's really up to you to decide if you are an alcoholic or not, but if you cannot stop drinking once you start, that's a big red flag. If you intend to stop drinking for a month, and only manage 3 days, that's very telling.
It's understandable that you can't imagine a life without alcohol. That is the obsession of the mind which is part of alcoholism. In fact, most of us here had trouble imagining life without alcohol, but if you look around, you will see it's possible and in fact, wonderful.
I've always been worried there's something not quite right, and to be honest my boyfriend is the only person I've felt has taken me seriously. Everyone else acts like it's a phase but I literally don't know where to start. I've researched local AA meetings in my area and there's one on Wednesday so I think I might try and go, although it feels me with terror. Thank you for your lovely message. I will welcome any other advice from you. x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 10
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
Welcome to Sober Recovery.
I can't tell you if you are an alcoholic or not. But your relationship with alcohol, your feelings for it, and your difficulty in quitting are red flags.
I started drinking when I was 18. Partied and thought I was a typical young man drinking and having a good time. When I quit, 35 years later, I soon realized that all the signs of my alcoholism where there, at the very beginning.
I just ignored them.
I can't tell you if you are an alcoholic or not. But your relationship with alcohol, your feelings for it, and your difficulty in quitting are red flags.
I started drinking when I was 18. Partied and thought I was a typical young man drinking and having a good time. When I quit, 35 years later, I soon realized that all the signs of my alcoholism where there, at the very beginning.
I just ignored them.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 151
Originally Posted by Shebasuki96
I've always been worried there's something not quite right, and to be honest my boyfriend is the only person I've felt has taken me seriously. Everyone else acts like it's a phase but I literally don't know where to start. I've researched local AA meetings in my area and there's one on Wednesday so I think I might try and go, although it feels me with terror. Thank you for your lovely message. I will welcome any other advice from you. x
I would let you know that AA is not the only game in town/only method for quitting alcohol. you don't have to decide that you are "an alcoholic" in order to stop drinking. though depending on your area, it may be the only option for face-to-face meetings.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Welcome to you, Shebasuki.
I started drinking a bit later than you - but I had the same experience. One was never enough. It calmed me & helped me cope - or so I thought. In the end, it weakened me & held me down. I didn't do what you're doing - I never questioned myself when I was younger. As Carl said - the signs were there right from the beginning, but I chose to ignore them. So - I kept going with it into middle age - until I was drinking every day & my life was shattered. Please be careful & don't let it steal your life.
I started drinking a bit later than you - but I had the same experience. One was never enough. It calmed me & helped me cope - or so I thought. In the end, it weakened me & held me down. I didn't do what you're doing - I never questioned myself when I was younger. As Carl said - the signs were there right from the beginning, but I chose to ignore them. So - I kept going with it into middle age - until I was drinking every day & my life was shattered. Please be careful & don't let it steal your life.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 10
Originally Posted by Hevyn
Welcome to you, Shebasuki.
I started drinking a bit later than you - but I had the same experience. One was never enough. It calmed me & helped me cope - or so I thought. In the end, it weakened me & held me down. I didn't do what you're doing - I never questioned myself when I was younger. As Carl said - the signs were there right from the beginning, but I chose to ignore them. So - I kept going with it into middle age - until I was drinking every day & my life was shattered. Please be careful & don't let it steal your life.
I started drinking a bit later than you - but I had the same experience. One was never enough. It calmed me & helped me cope - or so I thought. In the end, it weakened me & held me down. I didn't do what you're doing - I never questioned myself when I was younger. As Carl said - the signs were there right from the beginning, but I chose to ignore them. So - I kept going with it into middle age - until I was drinking every day & my life was shattered. Please be careful & don't let it steal your life.
Thank you for the lovely message. This is why I'm trying to reach out now! Thank you for responding and taking time to read and I welcome any advice! x
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
I didn't stop drinking til I was in my early 40s, but when I look back, the signs were there from the start off. Luckily for you, you've recognised the issue. If you're not sure if you're an alcoholic, why not try stopping. If you aren't an alcoholic it won't be a problem, if you are, well then you'll know to seek some help with that quit.
AA sounds a great idea to me. There's lots of information and resources on their website, including download able leaflets specifically for young people in AA. The Big Book of AA is available to read online, and you may find a lot of identification with the relationship you have with alcohol, even if not every persons story.
Alcoholics Anonymous : Alcoholics Anonymous
A Message for Young People | Newcomers | About AA | Alcoholics Anonymous (Great Britain) Ltd
Alcoholics Anonymous : Too Young?
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bi...ies_partII.pdf (In particular read 'The missing link story')
AA sounds a great idea to me. There's lots of information and resources on their website, including download able leaflets specifically for young people in AA. The Big Book of AA is available to read online, and you may find a lot of identification with the relationship you have with alcohol, even if not every persons story.
Alcoholics Anonymous : Alcoholics Anonymous
A Message for Young People | Newcomers | About AA | Alcoholics Anonymous (Great Britain) Ltd
Alcoholics Anonymous : Too Young?
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bi...ies_partII.pdf (In particular read 'The missing link story')
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
My drinking crossed into alcoholism in my late 20's. I began to drink for different reasons at this time. Before I drank to be social and have fun but then I drank simply to get drunk. I started drinking alone after work everyday and I went to great lengths to hide it from people. I remember sneaking shots at my girlfriend 's parents house at Christmas. if staying over at someone's house I would also drink their booze in the middle of the night. That is alcoholic behaviour for sure. I would say that if you aren't an alcoholic now, you will be in the future. It's a progressive disease and things will get worse
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Welcome to SR. You are going to find plenty of members here that will tell you they wish they had quit at a young age; I'm including myself in that group. Life is so much better now that I am sober.
If alcohol is creating a problem for you then might want to think about actions to eliminate that problem. Only you truly know if you have a problem. I do wish some one would have told me at an early age that alcoholism is progressive and consumption will only get worse and worse over the years. I guess I always knew I had a problem, but like others, thought it was a phase that I would grow out of. Guess I had to force myself to grow out of it at 40.
Glad you found us, SR is a great resource for knowledge and help as you navigate through this.
Welcome
If alcohol is creating a problem for you then might want to think about actions to eliminate that problem. Only you truly know if you have a problem. I do wish some one would have told me at an early age that alcoholism is progressive and consumption will only get worse and worse over the years. I guess I always knew I had a problem, but like others, thought it was a phase that I would grow out of. Guess I had to force myself to grow out of it at 40.
Glad you found us, SR is a great resource for knowledge and help as you navigate through this.
Welcome
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
Welcome Shebasuki!
I started drinking when I was 14 and it had really escalated by the time I was 16 or 17 years old. I am 57 years old now but I was trying to quit by the time I was your age.
You know yourself best, don't let anyone minimise how you feel.
I started drinking when I was 14 and it had really escalated by the time I was 16 or 17 years old. I am 57 years old now but I was trying to quit by the time I was your age.
You know yourself best, don't let anyone minimise how you feel.
totfit
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Ft Collins, CO
Posts: 1,273
Your story is so familiar. I wish I had been as self aware as you at your age. I do not think you are over-reacting. You describe things very clearly and I think you are "on to something". I can't tell you what you are. I don't really even like the term "alcoholic" as it is far too broad. I would say at the least that alcohol does not agree with you possibly or possibly agrees too much. I know I am physically different in relation to alcohol. I cannot drink without craving, so abstinence is the only solution for me.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Hi Shebasuki and welcome to SR. You have such a small sample size or "trial" if you will it would be irresponsible to make a diagnosis at this point. With that being said, there are red flags. The fact that you found this site, joined, and then posted are all positives. In fact, I'd go so far as to say you are ahead of the curve so to speak because it obviously doesn't sit well with you.
I'd say stick around this forum. You will find people from all over the globe with every situation imaginable. Read-read-read about everything you can and educate yourself. One thing is for certain, if you let things get out of control, it will inevitably get worse, never better. Wish you the best. Keep us posted and stay engaged in this community.
I'd say stick around this forum. You will find people from all over the globe with every situation imaginable. Read-read-read about everything you can and educate yourself. One thing is for certain, if you let things get out of control, it will inevitably get worse, never better. Wish you the best. Keep us posted and stay engaged in this community.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
I got sober when I was 22. By that time I was in end stage alcoholism and only had a few months to live if I kept on. There was absolutely no chance of continuing for another 20 years.
I am an alcoholic. I had the exact same symptoms as you. When I drank I had no control over the amount, and when I honestly tried to stop, I found I could last no more than a couple of days.
If these are your symptoms, you are definitely alcoholic. Alcoholism is a progressive illness. Over time it always gets worse. It may cause us to do some really insane things, or it may not. The common symptoms are loss of control and choice.
Between the courts, family, friends and employers I either tried or had tried on me every available solution icluding court orders not to drink, and getting locked up in the loony bin. Nothing worked until I was able to find a way of living that removed the need to drink permanently, and replaced my alcoholic life with something new and infinitely more satisfying. I found that by joining AA and working the AA program. Best thing I ever did. I wouldn't be here otherwise.
I tried all other options first because they looked easier, and I suppose they were in one sense. But they don't work for alcoholics of my type, so really I was dicing with death while playing around with them. AA turned out to be the easier way.
Lots of young people get sober in AA. It is very common these days, they even have young peoples groups in some places. It is well worth checking out. The best way to do it is to spend a couple of hours with a recovered alcholic who can answer your questions directly, and explain how it works. Meetings are a bit random. It can take a lot of meetings to get the same understanding as a couple of hours one on one.
All the best,
I am an alcoholic. I had the exact same symptoms as you. When I drank I had no control over the amount, and when I honestly tried to stop, I found I could last no more than a couple of days.
If these are your symptoms, you are definitely alcoholic. Alcoholism is a progressive illness. Over time it always gets worse. It may cause us to do some really insane things, or it may not. The common symptoms are loss of control and choice.
Between the courts, family, friends and employers I either tried or had tried on me every available solution icluding court orders not to drink, and getting locked up in the loony bin. Nothing worked until I was able to find a way of living that removed the need to drink permanently, and replaced my alcoholic life with something new and infinitely more satisfying. I found that by joining AA and working the AA program. Best thing I ever did. I wouldn't be here otherwise.
I tried all other options first because they looked easier, and I suppose they were in one sense. But they don't work for alcoholics of my type, so really I was dicing with death while playing around with them. AA turned out to be the easier way.
Lots of young people get sober in AA. It is very common these days, they even have young peoples groups in some places. It is well worth checking out. The best way to do it is to spend a couple of hours with a recovered alcholic who can answer your questions directly, and explain how it works. Meetings are a bit random. It can take a lot of meetings to get the same understanding as a couple of hours one on one.
All the best,
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Dallas Texas
Posts: 579
Shebasuki
In a word :Yes. Most people aren't blunt like me. I'm not Mr. Miyagi. It's not a matter of being normal. You are normal for a person with a drinking problem.
I had my first drink around 14 or 15. I didn't crave it or drink very often until a few years later. It took longer for me to "pre-drink" or try to hide the amounts I drank from others. Both are strong indicators of alcoholism. Craving it and having difficulty let it go after one or two is not good. Not being able to last more than 3 days was always my problem...that and 5 DUI's
Most of use loved how alcohol made us feel and act at first. Time and tide washed it all away.
It's not all bad news. You are smart enough to sense something wrong and look for help. And you didn't even need a DUI to get there
Read and post more. If you click on the names of posters you can see all the threads they have started. Their first threads may interest you.
In a word :Yes. Most people aren't blunt like me. I'm not Mr. Miyagi. It's not a matter of being normal. You are normal for a person with a drinking problem.
I had my first drink around 14 or 15. I didn't crave it or drink very often until a few years later. It took longer for me to "pre-drink" or try to hide the amounts I drank from others. Both are strong indicators of alcoholism. Craving it and having difficulty let it go after one or two is not good. Not being able to last more than 3 days was always my problem...that and 5 DUI's
Most of use loved how alcohol made us feel and act at first. Time and tide washed it all away.
It's not all bad news. You are smart enough to sense something wrong and look for help. And you didn't even need a DUI to get there
Read and post more. If you click on the names of posters you can see all the threads they have started. Their first threads may interest you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 10
Originally Posted by chrcarlson
Shebasuki
In a word :Yes. Most people aren't blunt like me. I'm not Mr. Miyagi. It's not a matter of being normal. You are normal for a person with a drinking problem.
I had my first drink around 14 or 15. I didn't crave it or drink very often until a few years later. It took longer for me to "pre-drink" or try to hide the amounts I drank from others. Both are strong indicators of alcoholism. Craving it and having difficulty let it go after one or two is not good. Not being able to last more than 3 days was always my problem...that and 5 DUI's
Most of use loved how alcohol made us feel and act at first. Time and tide washed it all away.
It's not all bad news. You are smart enough to sense something wrong and look for help. And you didn't even need a DUI to get there
Read and post more. If you click on the names of posters you can see all the threads they have started. Their first threads may interest you.
In a word :Yes. Most people aren't blunt like me. I'm not Mr. Miyagi. It's not a matter of being normal. You are normal for a person with a drinking problem.
I had my first drink around 14 or 15. I didn't crave it or drink very often until a few years later. It took longer for me to "pre-drink" or try to hide the amounts I drank from others. Both are strong indicators of alcoholism. Craving it and having difficulty let it go after one or two is not good. Not being able to last more than 3 days was always my problem...that and 5 DUI's
Most of use loved how alcohol made us feel and act at first. Time and tide washed it all away.
It's not all bad news. You are smart enough to sense something wrong and look for help. And you didn't even need a DUI to get there
Read and post more. If you click on the names of posters you can see all the threads they have started. Their first threads may interest you.
Thank you so much for responding and sharing your story and most importantly being honest! It's what I really need! I'm attending the AA meeting on Wednesday so I will post an update on that and my progress.
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