Recovering and The Loneliness
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 636
Recovering and The Loneliness
Most of you guys know that I had a problem drinking. Today is day 224 for me and I am very proud to have made it this far. What is killing me is that for the past few days I've been stuck In past.
Last month I lost my grandma and I was able to go through this without relapsing. There was no urges just pain and sadness that I had to say goodbye to someone I love. During the mist of this, I found someone who is smart, beautiful and accepts me for who I am. The only problem is that she is 9 years older than me with kids but I was willing to accept that based on how happy she made me.
What hurts me is that I had to cut ties with her. I told her that I'm in the process of starting a business and I can't cater to her right now. I need to work on myself and fix myself before I take anyone serious. I know she was hurt but accepted my decision and told me not to worry and just take care of business. I'm happy and hurt at the same time. My business could of been booming but I had a lot of setback financially mentally and emotionally. Leaving her has given me the fire to make this work and sustain financial freedom but also hurt me since I can't be with her for now.
Something very strange happened to me yesterday and today. I've been meditating and praying a lot ever since my grandma past away. I told God to guide me and show me a way. One instance I reached out to some old colleague in my field and I might potentially have a mentor for my business from what I hear this guy is doing well and for a small fee he is willing to train me. Won't hurt to try. I never check my horoscope but I did yesterday and I don't remember the exact words but it said something about being lonely and needing to work on yourself. At 1 AM I get a random text from a friend saying "God not going to give you success if you can't handle it." It freaked me out. I'm starting to see signs that I'm doing the right thing and I just need to push forward and continue what I'm doing. It's almost like God is talking to me.
Thank you for listening.
Last month I lost my grandma and I was able to go through this without relapsing. There was no urges just pain and sadness that I had to say goodbye to someone I love. During the mist of this, I found someone who is smart, beautiful and accepts me for who I am. The only problem is that she is 9 years older than me with kids but I was willing to accept that based on how happy she made me.
What hurts me is that I had to cut ties with her. I told her that I'm in the process of starting a business and I can't cater to her right now. I need to work on myself and fix myself before I take anyone serious. I know she was hurt but accepted my decision and told me not to worry and just take care of business. I'm happy and hurt at the same time. My business could of been booming but I had a lot of setback financially mentally and emotionally. Leaving her has given me the fire to make this work and sustain financial freedom but also hurt me since I can't be with her for now.
Something very strange happened to me yesterday and today. I've been meditating and praying a lot ever since my grandma past away. I told God to guide me and show me a way. One instance I reached out to some old colleague in my field and I might potentially have a mentor for my business from what I hear this guy is doing well and for a small fee he is willing to train me. Won't hurt to try. I never check my horoscope but I did yesterday and I don't remember the exact words but it said something about being lonely and needing to work on yourself. At 1 AM I get a random text from a friend saying "God not going to give you success if you can't handle it." It freaked me out. I'm starting to see signs that I'm doing the right thing and I just need to push forward and continue what I'm doing. It's almost like God is talking to me.
Thank you for listening.
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
Hi GhostFace. I'm glad to see you're still doing well. Sometimes God wants us to go through pain to make us stronger. Sounds like that's what's going on. Good luck on the new business. I'm sure you'll put in the work to make it successful. You're already on a good path to do that.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 636
Thank you all. I'm in pain but I'm training my mind to endure this pain and all these negative situation and work my way up. I'm very introvert and I do miss the company of a female but I have to work on me. I'm every working on being less emotional and more logical in every situation. It sounds weird but I hate the feeling of loving some one as many female tend to break that.
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Northeast WI
Posts: 163
I'm sorry that the timing is wrong with the gal - but, having the insight to recognize that it's wrong, and handling it how you know is best for you overall, shows a ton of strength and mindfulness, IMO. Congrats on that part. I'm glad you're working on you, I believe everything will fall into place if you keep it up.
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