entropy1964

The ER can provide that bridge between knowing what to do, and doing.

ICanDoBetter

I found that the longer I spent pondering how to make the leap, the more resistant to the leap I became. You just have to do it and trust your gut.

thomas11

Hi Constance, I'm glad you came back, I believe it is always a good idea to come here and post about your successes or troubles. THe people here are really smart and helpful. You can beat this, but it requires great effort. But it is worth it.

Side note: I looked up Yellowknife NT. Wow! You are up on the north side of Great Slave Lake, I would love to go there sometime. I am so fascinated by the lifestyle way up north. I am in Minnesota, I have been on a fly in fishing trip once way up in Canada, it was the best vacation I've ever had. Fishing on great slave or great bear would be something on my bucket list. I'm jealous.

graciepearl

You did help Constance. You reminded me of what I already know one more drop of alcohol and I will be in the pit forever. There is no other option for me. So with the help of these amazing sober siblings I gut it out and keep moving forward one moment at a time. And the best thing is they are here for you to. You can do this.

Constance01

Yes, Thomas. I live in God's Country. I can see the bay of the mighty lake from my office window. I live in a city where we have all the amenities of a big city and are spoiled with a two minute skip to the serenity of the surrounding lakes and rivers. I always appreciate that. My Step-kids live that life, free in nature, jumping off docks in their swim suites, hunting geese, or fishing for supper - all in our back yard. I have no idea why this does not inspire me to get well and enjoy what life has handed me. I see nothing in this and would prefer to sit in my room and read the internet, without them. I am not ungrateful but I worked hard to give them that and at some point it went from appreciated to expected..more and more. To be perfectly honest, at this point, I'd like to quite my job, go on benefits, get a cheap place, and just get hammered on my balcony everyday, by myself.

August252015

This was exactly me. I spent the last half of last year pushing, pushing, pushing myself to the very limit - beyond all limits, the huge tolerance others mentioned, the physical pain, the everything - til I flat stopped. I had to get so exhausted, so completely exhausted, that I simply could not go any more. If that is what it takes for you, I pray you hit that point very soon.

Constance01

You nailed it, August. That was the word I was looking for 'exhausted.'