Berrybean

Hey SC. Glad you got that assignment done, and are starting to get some boundaries for your boyfriend (abusive comments are unacceptable, and if he tries that "it was a JOKE for chrissakes " BS, remind him that jokes are supposed to be funny for everyone. )

Hope the meeting is a good one. By good one I mean lots of healthy sobriety (where people enjoy being sober) and poeple who are welcoming and ready to help. If ladies give you their numbers please take them - you could even take a little notepad with you to write things down. If any men offer you their numbers tell em to take a hike.

Let us know how it goes x

sweetichick

Hey All,
I wrote earlier on how anxious and panicked I was. I've been in and out of bed trying to sleep and just can't relax. A million things seem to be racing through my mind. A lot of it is fear-related. Now my assessment is finished I've got no excuse to not getting stuck into cleaning my house. Maybe I should just start on it now eventhough it is midnight lol. I don't even know why I am putting up this post except that I went through this last time I got sober, just not sleeping due to the horrible realization of what problems I have caused, money wasted on alcohol, what I should have done in the past to not end up in this mess. I'm physically exhausted but my brain just won't shut up.

sweetichick

Thanks Berrybean, I missed your reply because it was on page 2. How dumb is that for me? He pulls the only joking one a lot. I'm definitely going to keep standing up to him. If I'm up all night I may not make the meeting tomorrow morning, fingers crossed that I'll feel properly tired soon.

Berrybean

Why not make the bed ultra comfy, put on fresh pj's and go to bed and read for a bit. Chances are when you get into a good story you'll Starr dropping off, and even if you don't it'll be more restful than being up and about in your own thoughts.

Wanna book recommendation? X

sweetichick

A book recommendation sounds great. And I love your saying you put at the end of all your posts, its stuck in my mind to stop digging.

Berrybean

Cool. I love love love Elizabeth is Missing, and also Girl on a Train.

Other ones I've enjoyed are...

Any Elly Griffiths or Gill Dawson or Alison Bruce books (all these are detective type novels).

I'm also a sucker for Sarah Prices books which is a bit embarrassing as they're such easy readers. They're set in Amish communities as have a simplicity about them that is a comfort when I'm in a head spin.

sweetichick

I'll take your advice and try reading. Hope you have a great day BB.

Berrybean

Mneugh. I'm supposed to be writing school reports. Never my favourite as it seems to take forever. Trying to stay more positive about it this year, and remember to write them with love in my heart, to spread hope and joy to my pupils families, and focus on that side on it rather than anything else.

sweetichick

Sorry BB for missing your reply last night. I suddenly felt sleepy and went to bed. I think its great that you are trying to be positive on school reports. At least I wasn't around to distract you lol. Hope you got them all done today which for me is yesterday.

blueberry2015

You are doing so well, early recovery is hard but what your feeling at the moment does pass. It DOES get better soooo much better. Remember to keep it in the day, so so important. Are you going to AA at all? Meetings help me majorally x

Berrybean

No problem. Glad you finally felt sleepy. Hope you got some good zzzs in.

Got all the reports I'd planned to do done yesterday. Another lot to do today, and some more to do in the week in the evenings, then it'll just be editing and corrections when they come back, and before I know it I'll be able to enjoy my weekends again for a bit, plus the long summer holiday will soon roll around. Hey, report writing isn't the best, but I only have to turn on the news if I want to get a bit of gratitude and humility going.

Welcome to your new, shiny, sober Today. Let us know how that meeting goes. X

sweetichick

Hey Blueberry, Thanks for the post. Great advice. Today is all I have so I'm trying to make the most of being sober instead of thinking of a drink all the time. I'm on Campral so that helps with the cravings. I've got no excuse now not to go to AA now my assessment is finished.

sweetichick

Hey BB, I forgot it was summer over there. It's winter here. Do you get 6 weeks off like the schools do here at the end of the year? You must be really looking forward to the break. Today was uneventful, more arguing with the BF but no point in boring you with the details. I didn't feel like picking up a drink, I don't think I could come back from another relapse. It was hard enough this time.

Berrybean

Yes. Six weeks off. Just got to get through this, the busiest of half terms. Thing is, although it's busy and exhausting it also goes fast, so before I know it the holidays will be here. Yay.

Are you off to that meeting later?

sweetichick

Hey BB,
I missed the meeting last night because I'm the only lady who went last time and I felt uncomfortable. I've had bad experiences in the past with guys trying to crack onto me. We call them 13 steppers over here. I'm planning on one tonight that I've been to quite a few times. I'm looking forward to it as tomorrow is payday which is always a trigger for me so best to get a meeting under my belt. I'm feeling more relaxed today so glad I went with the 'this shall pass' thought. Hope you get through the next couple of weeks okay.

Berrybean

Thanks SC. Yes, it's good to suss out which meetings work for you. Stick with the other ladies. You know, before AA I didn't really think I could have female friends. Now I've got some great ones. X