Shame spreading heat between my shoulder blades
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 197
Shame spreading heat between my shoulder blades
I just can't stop thinking about the messed up things I did and lies I told while bingeging (yet again) - it's like a constant intense anxiety and a burning shame.
im so exhausted from feeling this way. Literally the only thing that gives me a moments respite is working hard at work but the moment I stop I'm back thinking about it so constantly. My therapist says that'll be a strong part of my motivation along with therapy and medication.
I just can't believe what I've done.
Day 5 and I worked, worked, volunteered, made dinner for me and my SO and mostly ignored it. Now just dreading a restless sleep.
Usually my updates are more positive but shame is all I feel right now.
im so exhausted from feeling this way. Literally the only thing that gives me a moments respite is working hard at work but the moment I stop I'm back thinking about it so constantly. My therapist says that'll be a strong part of my motivation along with therapy and medication.
I just can't believe what I've done.
Day 5 and I worked, worked, volunteered, made dinner for me and my SO and mostly ignored it. Now just dreading a restless sleep.
Usually my updates are more positive but shame is all I feel right now.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Shame is very normal I such early days. But it is toxic.....so you need to forgive yourself.
I have this sense that you are a perfectionist and very hard on yourself. Have you thought of slowing down a bit?
I have this sense that you are a perfectionist and very hard on yourself. Have you thought of slowing down a bit?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
Hi Water. I also have trouble with ruminating about my past. I did two years of therapy to get over the guilt and shame. I burned a lot of bridges with friends and family so I was literally alone with my thoughts 24/7. It was impossible to get out of my head without alcohol so I couldn't stay sober for long. I went to rehab, did therapy, but the only thing that seems to work so far is AA. Everyone there has similar stories so it helps to lessen my self-loathing. Eventually you'll be able to forgive yourself, if you stay sober of course.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
The alcoholic me and the sober me are two different people .
The further i've gone into sobriety the more i've realised how much alcohol had it's claws into me .
letting the past lay, dealing with resentments and guilt are things i needed to work through .
Day 5 , the first few weeks are an emotional roller coaster , up's and down's will happen . Sobriety is good i'd not have done it for years now if it were not .
Feeling bad was and is motivation to find ways to deal with stuff, drinking again will only defer and add to what has happened already. Drinking keeps you stuck .
m
The further i've gone into sobriety the more i've realised how much alcohol had it's claws into me .
letting the past lay, dealing with resentments and guilt are things i needed to work through .
Day 5 , the first few weeks are an emotional roller coaster , up's and down's will happen . Sobriety is good i'd not have done it for years now if it were not .
Feeling bad was and is motivation to find ways to deal with stuff, drinking again will only defer and add to what has happened already. Drinking keeps you stuck .
m
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
