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Across the aisle from Dread

Old 06-06-2016, 09:49 AM
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Across the aisle from Dread

So how do we manage, with The Sense Of Dread?

I got up, made the kids breakfast, packed their lunches, took them to school.

I went and had coffee with friends. Came home and worked on a task that was due by noon for work. Posted a bit here on SR to vent and share my feelings. Read a few others' posts, responded to a few.

I got a couple things accomplished around the house. Had a mid-morning snack. I noticed I was spending too much time on facebook, logged off.

I'm going to go to the gym now. Get some exercise. A sauna. I'll come home and get a couple more hours' work done. Then get the kids. Then a snack for them and we'll head off to Martial Arts for two hours. Then back home. Dinner (oh, crap, that's right! gotta put the roast in!!). Then get ready for bed, read to the kids, talk with my lady, give thanks for the abundance in my life..... head to dreamland.

Sure, I'll maybe wake to The Sense Of Dread again... but there's Love in my Life. There's Life in my Love. There's lots to be thankful for. I don't sit paralyzed by Dread. I move on despite it.

Life is Good.

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Old 06-06-2016, 09:55 AM
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Just because we are sober does not mean our demons go away. It does mean we get a whole lot better at dealing with them
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Old 06-06-2016, 09:58 AM
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I got up early, came into work early to get some cleaning done that I had not finished (I clean our office suites for extra cash), getting work done, posting on SR, getting ready for lunch, might nap or read (I'm tired), will go home, cook dinner (or maybe leftovers, I'm not sure), spend some time w/my child (the other one works tonight), maybe take a walk, a nice warm bath, and bed.

Tomorrow will be a new day. I meet with my pastor tomorrow which will help the Dread.

I will not let this stop me from doing good things in my life. That is a promise.
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Old 06-06-2016, 10:05 AM
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Thanks for giving me something to think about. This is something that I have to work on for me, that being sober isn't going to magically make my problems go away. I really hope that dealing with my anxiety gets easier, though.
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Old 06-06-2016, 11:08 AM
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Ah the dread...
Getting sober helped a lot with the "I'm causing my own demise" dread but so many other issues file in to my brain as replacements.
It's always been here with me but I'm trying to be circumspect about it by just acknowledging it and continuing on with my life.
Best to each of you.
J
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Old 06-06-2016, 11:16 AM
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My dread was stronger when I was physically addicted. It came in as a wave of fear. A rush of emotion. Some issue that suddenly surfaced.

No clean, the dread is closer to sadness. A longing for something lost. No more daily waves of emotion.

Is this what you are referring to.

Is there a reference somewhere?
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Old 06-06-2016, 11:43 AM
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yeah... this thread was a counterpoint to the thread The Sense Of Dread
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Old 06-06-2016, 11:55 AM
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Originally Posted by Zufrieden View Post
Ah the dread...
Getting sober helped a lot with the "I'm causing my own demise" dread but so many other issues file in to my brain as replacements.
It's always been here with me but I'm trying to be circumspect about it by just acknowledging it and continuing on with my life.
Best to each of you.
J
Yes, I agree with this. For dread and so many other feelings. Acknowledge it, consider it as a point of interest (where do I feel it, what does it feel like, does it come in waves or is it starting little and growing bigger - almost a study of the thing) and then choose NOT to Velcro myself to it or become it's puppet. If I'm struggling not to do so, then I'll pray to my HP to remove it, and do the next best thing what ever that may be. Nowadays, I don't think of my feelings as being me, which is what I really did think for so many years. It's just a feeling. It is NOT part of me, and it will just pass. I can remember that i had so many intense emotions pass through over the years. Mostly I can't remember why or what they were exactly, because as much as the FELT like to they were really, really important and life threatening or life changing, actually they really really weren't. They just came and went, like trains in a station. I now know I don't have to jump in every train that passes through.
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Old 06-06-2016, 11:59 AM
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Love this!
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Old 06-06-2016, 12:14 PM
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Thanks for that FreeOwl .
Heading towards 4 weeks sober I occasionally get waves of impending doom ,like a fear that starts in my groin and sweeps right over my head . This can happen for no apparent reason and leaves me weak at the knees . I have had problematic anxiety most of my adult life and used alcohol to get me out of it . Fortunately these fear , dread, gloomy episodes are few ( once maybe twice a day ) . If I get too tired and try to push on its not good for me but I'm finding it hard to relax for long , always finding another task to keep me occupied . Sleep is still not great ,waking up worried and panicky at all hours ,don't know why but use what ive learned on anxiety management to get through it .
Alcohol of course never was and never will be the answer .
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Old 06-06-2016, 12:27 PM
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You know ! it would be interesting to know ( maybe i'll start a thread on this ) how many people had problematic anxiety or other emotional ,behavioural issues that led to abuse of alcohol and if they are sober now do they still have problems with this .
Anxiety is a Behavioral Wellness Issue - anxietycentre.com
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Old 06-07-2016, 05:47 AM
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Originally Posted by Thomas59 View Post
Thanks for that FreeOwl .
Heading towards 4 weeks sober I occasionally get waves of impending doom ,like a fear that starts in my groin and sweeps right over my head . This can happen for no apparent reason and leaves me weak at the knees . I have had problematic anxiety most of my adult life and used alcohol to get me out of it . Fortunately these fear , dread, gloomy episodes are few ( once maybe twice a day ) . If I get too tired and try to push on its not good for me but I'm finding it hard to relax for long , always finding another task to keep me occupied . Sleep is still not great ,waking up worried and panicky at all hours ,don't know why but use what ive learned on anxiety management to get through it .
Alcohol of course never was and never will be the answer .
I was raised by an abusive father. I also started to drink to get drunk when I was 5 years old. Long story. These things helped shape me into the anxious person I am today.

I bought the audio book..from Panic to power. It helped me.

Anxiety is nervous energy. It can be manipulated to help vs hurt.

Imo....Not drinking is critical to developing normalized feelings that we can grow into understanding over time.

Drinking or drugs changes our chemical balance making it impossible to deal w life as we are designed to do.

Thanks.

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Old 06-07-2016, 08:03 AM
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This is going to sound funny, but lately I have taken to visualizing my anxiety as a scared little dog that barks at everything and everyone unfamiliar. So when I feel anxious I imagine him barking viciously, and then I scratch his head and say "it's ok." Then he calms down and licks my hand Believe it or not, this actually helps
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Old 06-07-2016, 10:14 AM
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Originally Posted by ZenLifter View Post
This is going to sound funny, but lately I have taken to visualizing my anxiety as a scared little dog that barks at everything and everyone unfamiliar. So when I feel anxious I imagine him barking viciously, and then I scratch his head and say "it's ok." Then he calms down and licks my hand Believe it or not, this actually helps
I LOVE THIS....

This, I'm going to use.

lol

Perfect.

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Old 06-07-2016, 01:18 PM
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I think a lot of "the dread" your referencing is pretty normal. Really comes down to how much responsibility you have on your plate (parenting being the number one I think. I can relate) and how you look at the situation. A BIG part of my sobriety is to draw positive. Sounds like you practice gratitude which is fantastic.
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