2Wheelterror

I have been to counseling once before because it was court mandated for alcohol. Wow shocker right, well anyways the whole time I was there all the counselor did was ramble on for 45 mins about her life and send me on my way.

Is that what counseling is, or did I get a crappy counselor. I really have no idea what to expect, and if it's just listening to someone else babble it's not worth my money.

ScottFromWI

Sounds like you saw a bad one, they are out there. Are you going for drug/alcohol specific counseling or general?

2Wheelterror

Going to I guess general counseling, it's mainly for my depression. Since that's one of the reasons I drank.

Jim1958

Sounds like a bad counselor. It often takes several tries to find one you click with. Mine let me talk and offered suggestions on what to work on. You have to work at getting better. The patient has to want to help themselves. Counseling does help if you work at it. Just my two cents.

2Wheelterror

I'm fine with putting in work, I deff want to get better. So I guess it's a crap shoot with counselors. Just like everything else there's good and bad.

Kaily

All I got was messed up more!

LostLilly

There are good and bad ones like in every other field. I have encountered great ones and bad ones. Take the time to see several and then decide. The one I am seeing now specializes in addiction and anxiety.

Lilly

LadyBlue0527

There are absolutely good and bad ones.

I'm crossing my fingers for you that you click with this counselor

Steely

Sounds like you got a crap one. What are her qualifications? You have the right to ask.

On The Road

2WT When I got sober 1 1/2 years ago, I tried therapy one more time. In the past it didn't work for me, so I was pretty skeptical. But this time, it clicked. I found a very good therapist and I can say she was instrumental in guiding me through the first year of sobriety. You definitely found a bad one. Move on and try another. Good ones are out there.

Aellyce

Each time when I look for a new therapist, I first decide what type of approach or goal and then look for local providers, research stuff available about them online, including reviews if they exist. Of course their own websites are a marketing strategy, but they typically say what kind of theoretical orientations and treatment approaches they follow, if they have specialties, and what they put on a website and how it's organized may give some sense of the person. Look up info on their treatment modalities if you are not familiar, that might give some ideas on their basic framework. I also check out their publications if they have any to see what sorts of things they are interested in and how it is presented.

Then contact a few typically via email first to see if they take new patients and to describe briefly what I am looking for, to get an idea about their fee and whether they take insurance (some won't discuss fees via email or phone though), and if it's positive I set up consultations with them. Where I live, many offer a free initial consultation either via phone or in person. Use that as a sort of interview, ask questions, observe what they do and talk about, how they react to me, whether I feel we have or could have a connection. You can find lots of suggestions online on how to look for a counselor/therapist, what to ask in the initial meeting etc. Also, it's perfectly fine to ask them anything you want to know, max they won't respond or divert the topic (that is informative, too). And I think it's a good idea to listen to your instinct about the person if you generally trust your instincts.

When I look for a therapist and interview a few, I also like to sit with the experience a bit and not decide whether I want to go back or not, immediately after talking with them. I've never encountered one that would push me to decide on the spot.

You might also be able to find a clinic where you can apply, have some kind of intake meeting with staff, and they pair you with a professional based on your needs (in a good case). I personally did not like this and prefer to do my own search, but it may be a possibility especially if you are unsure what you are looking for.

Of course all of them are individual humans, just like anyone, with their personal styles and a lot of it won't show in the first meeting or two or even sometimes ten. I have consulted with many and worked with four (three individually and one in a group) -- all of them were quite different but lots of similarities develop in our interpersonal dynamic and experience over time, which is interesting and typically a reflection of how I am, how I relate to people, also a good way to discover problem areas.

It's also perfectly okay to tell them if you don't like something about what they do or would prefer if some aspects were done differently, I have done many times. For example, I had a therapist who said very little initially and I would mostly listen to myself talk. I mentioned this to him and he changed it for the better, he later said not only with me. My current therapist is very interactive and has an active mind (I like that a lot, everything he says is interesting to me and he is very insightful) but so am I, and this makes for pretty intense, interesting sessions, sometimes a bit too much diversion from my original goals though.

My general experience is that working with a therapist can be many things, but like recovery, it's effective if we put in our effort and work it, in the sessions and between.

2Wheelterror

Thank you the insight, if this counselor doesn't seem to work I will try another. I'm bound to find one that will work for me, well I hope so.

thomas11

I believe a good counselor or therapist should be as good of a listener as they are a speaker. If they don't understand what makes the person ticket (who they are counseling) what good is it? Therapy is not one size fits all.

Vegit8

I've tried counseling before, again, it was jet the low end counsellor where you pretty much just talk and they ask questions and let you make your decisions based on that rather than a therapist that works with you to get through issues. I found it useless, as a professional alcoholic, I am also a professional liar and am so used to keeping up the facade that everything is fine, that I put on the show for them rather than admit my issues and work through them.

I was recommended a book that I have read, and still go back and read when I find that the depression is starting to creep up. It's Dr. David Burns, Feeling Good, The New Mood Therapy. It has helped me through many a difficult time.

Zeebs

I go to counseling for anxiety issues that were significantly amplified by heavy alcohol abuse. I was asked to complete some forms/checklists before my first visit - I think a bunch of psychiatrists came up with a standardized set of questions for folks with anxiety issues (this is my assumption, I'm not entirely sure). The appointments basically consist of talking, listening, and working on one little thing in my life each week. I haven't found it helpful to go periodically; needs to be a consistent once a week thing (for me).