Everythings too good?
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Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 5,453
Everythings too good?
Okay husband is sober and super sweet? It's just so weird after years of it being the exact opposite. So I ended up drinking what kind of selfish woman does that ? So after years of wanting this exact thing it's just so awkward.
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Join Date: Dec 2015
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We are just as vulnerable to drink when things are good as when they are bad. I was thinking about this yesterday. Things are gradually improving for me and I feel a bit awkward about it as well.
I agree, pour out what you have left and get back on the horse.
I agree, pour out what you have left and get back on the horse.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
It's addiction. Drink when you are happy, sad, indifferent, angry.
It doesn't even have to be drinking specifically. I can recall dating a guy who started drinking NA beers because I was on the wagon at the time (I won't say in recovery, just not drinking.) I was SO annoyed and bugged by it, just drink if you want to I told him.
This happened after divorcing my ex who abused alcohol. During my marriage I would have been SO THRILLED to have my ex drink NA beers, even just now and then.
I felt terrible about being so annoyed. I can see why you are upset with yourself but it is the cunning nature of this disease. Do not best yourself up, you are not alone. Just figure out a sober plan and start working it
we need you in our April class!
It doesn't even have to be drinking specifically. I can recall dating a guy who started drinking NA beers because I was on the wagon at the time (I won't say in recovery, just not drinking.) I was SO annoyed and bugged by it, just drink if you want to I told him.
This happened after divorcing my ex who abused alcohol. During my marriage I would have been SO THRILLED to have my ex drink NA beers, even just now and then.
I felt terrible about being so annoyed. I can see why you are upset with yourself but it is the cunning nature of this disease. Do not best yourself up, you are not alone. Just figure out a sober plan and start working it
we need you in our April class!
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
A couple of things here.
Are you an alcoholic and in or wanting to stop drinking and be in recovery?
Does he mind you drinking? It is not inherently selfish of you to drink- though it could be a good idea not to around him, out of consideration, or solidarity, or various things; flaunting it in his face, so to speak, would not be ok.
There are two sides to this: keeping alcohol around the home (as my dad did while my mother was getting sober- looking back they agree that probably wasn't the most helpful thing but this was the 80s and they were both learning a lot, in honest terms, about the disease) or drinking around your recovering spouse, which he did in moderation; and you cutting it out, too (or only drinking not around him).
Personally, I am ok with people drinking around me or when I am in a home or place where there is alcohol (I live alone so there is none in mine). However, I do not spend time with people who are drinking big time. It bugged me a little at Christmas when my dad and brother drank more than they should have- not getting drunk, but from the perspective of the recommended consumption per episode. Not because I wanted to myself, but because it wasn't good for them.
Bottom line, he has to decide for himself not to drink - regardless of his surroundings. And you two have to work out for yourselves your part in his recovery, including if, when and how you drink. That applies to you, too, as far as your drinking or not for your own sobriety or (if needed) recovery.
Good luck.
Are you an alcoholic and in or wanting to stop drinking and be in recovery?
Does he mind you drinking? It is not inherently selfish of you to drink- though it could be a good idea not to around him, out of consideration, or solidarity, or various things; flaunting it in his face, so to speak, would not be ok.
There are two sides to this: keeping alcohol around the home (as my dad did while my mother was getting sober- looking back they agree that probably wasn't the most helpful thing but this was the 80s and they were both learning a lot, in honest terms, about the disease) or drinking around your recovering spouse, which he did in moderation; and you cutting it out, too (or only drinking not around him).
Personally, I am ok with people drinking around me or when I am in a home or place where there is alcohol (I live alone so there is none in mine). However, I do not spend time with people who are drinking big time. It bugged me a little at Christmas when my dad and brother drank more than they should have- not getting drunk, but from the perspective of the recommended consumption per episode. Not because I wanted to myself, but because it wasn't good for them.
Bottom line, he has to decide for himself not to drink - regardless of his surroundings. And you two have to work out for yourselves your part in his recovery, including if, when and how you drink. That applies to you, too, as far as your drinking or not for your own sobriety or (if needed) recovery.
Good luck.
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Join Date: Dec 2014
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Originally Posted by soberwolf 
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
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Originally Posted by Midwest1981
Thanks everyone for your replies. They were helpful. I am 4 days sober!!
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