Razorblade66

I just want to explain really quick what 20 days sober is like.

Physically I feel alert, awake, stable, not bloated, hardly any gas....ladies I suffer from very extreme pain when I get my monthly visitor and it lasts 5 days heavy all the way. This time because I actually have been active...(running, walking, some fitness classes at the YMCA) my period was heavy one day, then super light and very little pain.

I've gotten so many things done!!! Wow! Extra shifts at work, AA meetings (which I love going to and the support) making healthy meals, quality time with my son... Being on top of my finances and knowing what I'm spending my $$ on.

Got through Memorial Day weekend, my birthday (yesterday) and turned down offers for drinks.

Three weeks ago I was getting kicked out of gross dive bars for being too drunk, blacked out, and the next day woke to with mystery bruises and threw up constantly forn12 hours. Missed work, ate like **** and hated myself.

I don't want to go back "out there."

I still have **** I gotta deal with.... Finances, making ends meet (newly single dumped my bf aka drinking buddy) and raising my almost teenage son.

Now I can face it head on no matter what. One day at a time. I'm learning what that really means. Going to meetings has been so helpful,

I have always felt alone. I am not alone. I am reaching out, asking for help, listening to others that have the same disease I do.

One guy told me "I'm classy for about 15 minutes when I drink." Haha I keep that in mind when my disease tells me I can have a drink.

Peace of mind. See you you feel after each day passes. Just don't drink today. No contracts, no promises, hold off your drink until tomorrow, then deal with it tomorrow. One day is all you need to think about. Not yesterday, not tomorrow.

Thanks for reading and fight for your life today. ❤️

JD

Congratulations on 20 days! You're on a roll.

csaw1112

Congrats on 20! Sounds like you're really getting things together.

ulfr

WELL DONE KEEP GOING

ulfr

Oh and happy birthday

Winslow

Congrats on 20 days and Happy birthday😊

August252015

Congrats on 20! That's awesome.

There are phases- I am at Day 103 and the process so far has been quite a ride in all ways. Do you know the term "pink clouds"? You sound like that is your phase! It is nice and freeing and liberating; just know that it may pass, and your process and feelings will ebb and flow. I remember someone teaching me about phases of recovery early on (and I didn't listen) and also had my sponsor tell me last week that I had enter a frying-pan-stage for recovery having just passed the 90 day mark. This may help and you can find lots of info out there in books, online, etc, that may help - I am a big reader so I find knowledge and comfort in this stuff - http://alcoholrehab.com/addiction-re...s-of-recovery/

Good luck! Keep going!

Soberwolf

Good job on the eve of 3 weeks sober

Mags1

Congratulations on 20 days and happy birthday Razorblade.

entropy1964

Great post! And congratulations. You won't regret being sober for your teen. They are tough years and drinking through them really hurts the kiddos.

Razorblade66

Thank you everyone!!!! Yeah I def think I'm in what o think is my honeymoon phase.... The phases coming up I will face when as they come. I currently do not have a sponsor, but I'm actively looking!

entropy1964

Yes there are ups and downs in recovery. There are ups and downs in life, period. But everyone is different. I generally don't have huge ups and downs in recovery. Experience has shown me that I MAKE downs huge. I catastrophize and make mountains out of molehills. Generally because I am building up to drink. Something in my thinking has gone off the rails.

Its how we manage these downs that makes the difference. Maybe the lows don't get higher the longer we're sober, we just learn how to manage them.

Good thing, all things change. That we can count on.