awuh1

Everyone is afraid to attend their first meeting. If you're not afraid then something's wrong, or you're drunk. If you're drunk then something's wrong.

So, how do you get past that fear of going to a first meeting? Well first of all keep in mind that everyone is afraid to attend their first meeting. This means that everyone in the meeting, which you are about to attend, was (at one time) afraid when they were thinking about attending their first meeting. They all know exactly what you are going through. Most importantly they are there to help.

If you say that it's your first meeting (at the first opportunity) everyone will know exactly where you are coming from. They won't expect anything from you, you're new. You can say that you just want to listen. You can get up and walk out. You can cry the whole time. It's all good. Many of us have seen it all and it's all perfectly acceptable.

If you're afraid of seeing someone there that you know, please realize that the reason this person is attending is that they have had a drinking problem, just like you. They are probably just as sensitive about this as you are. It's called Alcoholic's Anonymous for a reason.

If you still have concerns consider calling your local AA office. Here is a link ---Alcoholics Anonymous : Find Local A.A. (linked with permission of AA central office). You can speak to a person about your concerns. Ask if someone can go with you to the meeting if you feel that would help.

Who knows, I might even see you there

Constance01

Thank you for posting this. I want to attend my first meeting but I am terrified. Do I just walk in at the posted meeting time? Should I call someone first to let them know I am coming? This has been a huge fear for me.

FindingCake

Hey there! I just went to my third yesterday and was still nervous. I would go in just a few minutes early. It's better than them starting a little early and having to walk in "late" like I did the first time. But, no one cared.

Each one I've been to, they have been kind and willing to answer questions I had.

Rip the bandaid off and go! I'm so glad I did (with the help of SR)!

bluedog97

Just walk in and grab a seat. Everyone there is there for the same reason as you.

csaw1112

The problem for me is the meetings dont fit my work schedule. Any alternatives?

sugarbear1

private email me for online meetings, for now. an in person sponsor is best, in my opinion

awuh1

Constance you can just go. No need to tell anyone but if you call the central off I'm sure you could meet someone who would go with you.

The sooner you go the sooner your fear will also. I'd sit down about 5 mins early if you can and tell the person next to you it's your first meeting (assuming someone from the local AA office does not accompany you).

When you go please let us know how it went. I love those stories

Meraviglioso

Constance, I called the local number before my first meeting to be sure I had the address right. It was in town where parking is really limited and the numbers on the building don't always go in order (don't even ask, I have no idea why) so she told me she would stand outside the door and keep an eye out for me and walk in with me.
I was mildly drunk my first meeting and sobbed the entire meeting- almost to the point of being a distraction, I actually feel bad about it now. But everyone was so kind and supportive.
I understand being nervous, but don't be terrified!

Berrybean

There are daytime and evening and weekend meetings in or close to most areas. Maybe double check online what the options are for you. It might mean driving to the next closest location instead of being on yiur doorstep, but there can be advantages to that.

I found the meetings an inconvenience at first, but decided that if I managed to fit all that drinking into my schedule then I could fit a couple of meetings in. A lot of it comes down to willingness, and to be honest most of my reasons for not being able to go turned out to be fear-laden spider-poop, and I managed to fit them in just fine.

Getting myself into that first meeting was scary though. NO kidding. I walked straught past the door and back home again on numerous occasions before I finally made it in the door of one. That time I'd contacted the helpline first (that morning) and had a chat through what to expect, which I think gave me a little more courage that day. They did offer for someone to contact me and meet me outside, but I passed on that (not sure why, apart from more fear I suppose). Once I was in the door it wasn't so bad though. Everyone was friendly but gave me space. I cried a lot in my early meetings. Partly nerves and partly a mix of relief and worry that I related so much to everything I heard people talk about. It was like coming home to a family I'd never known or suspected that I had.

snarky

I'm so glad you posted this. I did go to my first meeting yesterday and super happy I went. I was soooo nervous - I felt like the big pink elephant in the room, but I survived. It's interesting what you can do when you step out of your comfort zone. I want to go back asap now

awuh1

Ya Snarky, I came to realize that I had misidentified my comfort zone. For years I was miserable attempting to get control of the problem on my own when there was a wealth of help and support that was as close as the nearest meeting .