Choice.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
Well, after years of knowing I needed to quit, of trying to moderate,I finally CHOSE to quit.
So I chose to educate myself and make a plan.
I chose to work that plan everyday and when I fell I chose to get back up. You got upset because I said that I heard AV in your post but I'm just responding to what I read. Your words. I also read your other posts. You got angry because we all told you that your "drinking on weekends" plan was s bad one. This is s sobriety website and nobody is going to support any kind of drinking and moderation.
You do have power and I know you use your brain.
I really hope you start recognizing your AV because it's going to have a field day with your emotions right now. I hope you use these feelings as fuel for sobriety.
So I chose to educate myself and make a plan.
I chose to work that plan everyday and when I fell I chose to get back up. You got upset because I said that I heard AV in your post but I'm just responding to what I read. Your words. I also read your other posts. You got angry because we all told you that your "drinking on weekends" plan was s bad one. This is s sobriety website and nobody is going to support any kind of drinking and moderation.
You do have power and I know you use your brain.
I really hope you start recognizing your AV because it's going to have a field day with your emotions right now. I hope you use these feelings as fuel for sobriety.
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 936
How I finally chose to be sober:
-I chose to stop running my life on self-will because I finally saw it wasn't working.
-I hit my rock bottom and surrendered.
-I made the choice every new morning to do God's will and not my will, and to ask Him for help in carrying it out.
-I chose to stop running my life on self-will because I finally saw it wasn't working.
-I hit my rock bottom and surrendered.
-I made the choice every new morning to do God's will and not my will, and to ask Him for help in carrying it out.
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
My response to that other thread:
I think that what helped me to finally get sober was that when that "shift" in my thinking finally came, I had to also be willing to be damned uncomfortable for a while. To once and for all do whatever it took to not give in to those cravings no matter how strong they were.
I tried all kinds of things, like playing the tape forward, talking to someone, going to meetings, eating ice cream, etc, but there were a lot of times that I was curled up in a ball crying in frustration. I rode it out, knowing deep down that to give in would only make it all worse.
I couldn't take that kind of suffering before that until all the pain that came from drinking became unbearable enough.
So, in a sense, it was a choice, in that I chose to suffer through the misery of craving in order to avoid the consequences of giving in and drinking. I also had to choose to use the things/tools I had that would help me stay sober and be happy that way.
I tried all kinds of things, like playing the tape forward, talking to someone, going to meetings, eating ice cream, etc, but there were a lot of times that I was curled up in a ball crying in frustration. I rode it out, knowing deep down that to give in would only make it all worse.
I couldn't take that kind of suffering before that until all the pain that came from drinking became unbearable enough.
So, in a sense, it was a choice, in that I chose to suffer through the misery of craving in order to avoid the consequences of giving in and drinking. I also had to choose to use the things/tools I had that would help me stay sober and be happy that way.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Mare Crisium
Posts: 1,930
Despite many failures,
I chose to be sober simply
because the mild hangover
of 30+ years ago, gradually
morphed into the "death" hangover,
combined with horrific withdrawals.
Actually I could fill a page or two
with other reasons, as well.
I chose to be sober simply
because the mild hangover
of 30+ years ago, gradually
morphed into the "death" hangover,
combined with horrific withdrawals.
Actually I could fill a page or two
with other reasons, as well.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
It sounds like you're challenging us to convince you to get sober?
That's your job. Even if we somehow succeeded, your AV would just turn around and convince you that we're all full of it.
You have to find your own answer and you'll have all the support in the world here once you do.
I will ask, though...if drinking is so great, why do you come here?
That's your job. Even if we somehow succeeded, your AV would just turn around and convince you that we're all full of it.
You have to find your own answer and you'll have all the support in the world here once you do.
I will ask, though...if drinking is so great, why do you come here?
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Thismadamisdone 
Go ahead, explain how exactly you came to 'choose' to be sober.
So today, instead of doing those things you could choose to go to an AA meeting. Or call your doctor and make an appointment to talk about your drinking and get a checkup. Or you could choose to call an alcohol drug counselor or a local rehab facility.
There are a lot of people and resources to help us in our sober journey, but at the end of the day YOU are the only one that can actually make it happen.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
I got to the place where I really don't have much of a choice. The alternative for me at this point is homelessness or death. I can't keep a job and actively drink at the same time. I've lost the last 3 jobs I've had indirectly because of my alcoholism. I don't perform well when I'm horribly hung over or needing to skip off at lunch to drain a few pints to stop the shakes. I used to be a functional alcoholic but these days I just end up dropping everything to do nothing but drink
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
I spent years trying to control my drinking. I can't even begin to count how many times I said to myself "never again". And by "never again" I meant "never again" will I drink enough to black out or say stupid crap or rage at whoever was in range.
But I didn't have control of my drinking. The potential for disaster was there every single time I drank. I was playing Russian roulette every single time, no exception.
Knowing that I couldn't continue like that any longer and accepting that I wouldn't continue like that any longer were 2 separate processes for me. I stayed stuck in the knowing stage for way too long.
It required work, gut wrenching honesty with myself, foot stomping, grief, and finally, on my knees acceptance.
The relief I feel to no longer wake up with no memory of the night before, to find people I loved not talking to me, to feeling sick with shame and self hatred and to swearing "never again" will I let it get that bad......well, there aren't even words big enough to express my relief.
I have never regretted one single day, not one single moment, since I made the choice to embrace sobriety. It has been worth every challenge, every tear shed and every joy experienced.
I followed your other thread and you strike me as an intelligent and thoughtful person. I believe, if you let yourself, you will find your way.
But I didn't have control of my drinking. The potential for disaster was there every single time I drank. I was playing Russian roulette every single time, no exception.
Knowing that I couldn't continue like that any longer and accepting that I wouldn't continue like that any longer were 2 separate processes for me. I stayed stuck in the knowing stage for way too long.
It required work, gut wrenching honesty with myself, foot stomping, grief, and finally, on my knees acceptance.
The relief I feel to no longer wake up with no memory of the night before, to find people I loved not talking to me, to feeling sick with shame and self hatred and to swearing "never again" will I let it get that bad......well, there aren't even words big enough to express my relief.
I have never regretted one single day, not one single moment, since I made the choice to embrace sobriety. It has been worth every challenge, every tear shed and every joy experienced.
I followed your other thread and you strike me as an intelligent and thoughtful person. I believe, if you let yourself, you will find your way.
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Northeast WI
Posts: 163
I hated what my life was becoming, and didn't want that for myself. So I chose to live differently.
Choosing is active, I am not sure what you're not seeing about that. You are not at the mercy of every whim that runs through your head. NO one can "make" you choose to be sober, and your mind is not going to do it "for" you. Put it there.
Choosing is active, I am not sure what you're not seeing about that. You are not at the mercy of every whim that runs through your head. NO one can "make" you choose to be sober, and your mind is not going to do it "for" you. Put it there.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
On December 13th, 2015, I told a friend I wanted to stop drinking in the New Year. It was affecting my health and my job, and making a bad relationship worse. My friend wisely said: why wait? I realised she was right. I had my last drink that night.
The next day I made an appointment with a doctor and told her honestly how much I drank. She told me to stop immediately. She referred me to a counsellor. I made an appointment with the counsellor. I scheduled a blood test with my doctor.
After the doctor's, I called my mother and told her I had a drinking problem and was quitting. Then I told my siblings one by one.
That evening I logged onto SR for the first time since registering the year before. I joined the Class of December 2015. I read as much as I could on this site.
I made a recovery plan. I identified my triggers and planned strategies to address them. I ordered and read books on recovery. I posted on SR everyday. I broke off the bad relationship. I started exercising daily. I joined a new gym class. I bought teas to drink. I started and finished small home projects.
I addressed as many triggers as I could.
I have been sober for 170 days. And that's exactly how I chose to be sober for that time.
The next day I made an appointment with a doctor and told her honestly how much I drank. She told me to stop immediately. She referred me to a counsellor. I made an appointment with the counsellor. I scheduled a blood test with my doctor.
After the doctor's, I called my mother and told her I had a drinking problem and was quitting. Then I told my siblings one by one.
That evening I logged onto SR for the first time since registering the year before. I joined the Class of December 2015. I read as much as I could on this site.
I made a recovery plan. I identified my triggers and planned strategies to address them. I ordered and read books on recovery. I posted on SR everyday. I broke off the bad relationship. I started exercising daily. I joined a new gym class. I bought teas to drink. I started and finished small home projects.
I addressed as many triggers as I could.
I have been sober for 170 days. And that's exactly how I chose to be sober for that time.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Dallas Texas
Posts: 579
Sometimes I feel like drinking or thinking about going some where drinking is occurring and I choose not to. I can buy beer at the store but I choose not to.
I had a lot help choosing not to drink. Mostly the wreckage it caused including, 5 DWIs, missed opportunities, hangovers, car wrecks, failed relationships and crummy jail food.
I had a lot help choosing not to drink. Mostly the wreckage it caused including, 5 DWIs, missed opportunities, hangovers, car wrecks, failed relationships and crummy jail food.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Somerset
Posts: 924
My choice was about whether I wanted to continue in the same vein I had for the previous umpteen years of my existence or whether I actually wanted something I could regard as a "life".
Because I chose to have a life, I pretty much backed myself into a corner.
I'd run out of all other avenues and people to blame for my sorry arse existence and all that was left was the way marker pointing toward sobriety.
Begrudgingly I started to walk that way, inititially I got a few blisters and a strained muscle or two but now my only complaint is that it's almost too bright in here.
It's the most beautiful thing that's ever happened to me, love is everywhere I look, and the life I always dreamt of greets me every single morning with a big fat grin.
I guess it's not for everyone though.
Because I chose to have a life, I pretty much backed myself into a corner.
I'd run out of all other avenues and people to blame for my sorry arse existence and all that was left was the way marker pointing toward sobriety.
Begrudgingly I started to walk that way, inititially I got a few blisters and a strained muscle or two but now my only complaint is that it's almost too bright in here.
It's the most beautiful thing that's ever happened to me, love is everywhere I look, and the life I always dreamt of greets me every single morning with a big fat grin.
I guess it's not for everyone though.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
