Berrybean

I woke up and realised that I could no longer stand to be the me I had become. The me that drank and said and did things that made it tortuous to be with myself when I sobered up. And that day I knew that the only way to stop being that person was to stop inviting her in through the alcohol shaped door. I woke up that day and realised this wasn't just drink or don't. It was the only choice if I was going to find a way of ever reconciling with myself and finding some inner peace somehow. Okay, I didn't know HOW I was going to do it at that stage, just that by hook or by crook, it HAD to be done. It felt like leaping into the complete unknown. A leap of faith, even though at that stage I didn't have any. That came later.

Maybe we have to be a special kind of desperate to make that choice. I dunno. I know I certainly WAS. It was a different feeling to any I'd ever known. Lol. If i ever write a book, maybe that's what I'll call it. A special kind of desperate.

chrcarlson

"A special kind of desperate."

360startstoday

On February 8th, when I awoke googling AA in my town, looking for help. Knowing that I couldn't continue to wake up every morning to say I quit to only drink that night...... I broke down, cried out to God, gave it to God and made the decision that I was not going to drink that day. I chose to stop and I wake up every morning and choose not to drink today. No one is going to make the choice for me but me. I can drink, or I can not. And I don't.

Venecia

It wasn't that I chose sobriety, per se.

I chose to live.

If I framed it solely as a matter of no longer drinking, it would have been about deprivation. That wouldn't have lasted too long.

Instead, I looked at it as choosing better physical, mental and emotional health. Stopping the progression of drinking that would continue and, undoubtedly, jeopardize my ability to earn an income. Ensuring the relationships I had would stay intact and grow and those I wanted could be open to me.

Mostly, I wanted my self-respect back.

I couldn't have any of that had I chosen to drink. So I made a decision, then and there, that I could never consume alcohol again if I was to gain the life I desired and deserved. So far, so good.

FreeOwl

and yet.... still, you have a choice.

Many in your shoes choose the alternative.... unfortunately....

Vegit8

There are so many things I relate to on so many of your posts. *I'm so glad I finally made it here.

Before I actually decided to quit, I stalked SR in silence, as well as many others. *Knowing darn well what I was, and what I had to do, it took, yet another car wreck and 3rd DUI to get me thinking about it... Then only thinking, cuz good ole AV was chillin' like the villain it is, still telling me, I can moderate. *Finally, I woke up from my bender from drinking a crapload of vodka alone with my cats to realize, I'm broke from lawyers, I'm getting my driving job (thankfully), my home is a complete craphole that I would be ashamed to have anyone see and my life is a train wreck, and MOSTLY because, everyday i wake up and go to sleep absolutely miserable. *Why, cuz I've been centering everything around booze!!!

So, I decided to quit, because I want my life back, I want to be happy. *No one can force you, no one could force me, but you posted, you have received our thoughts and insights, but you are the only one able to call the shots. *

LostManhattan

Because I don't know who I am but I remember who I used to be.

jseattle

I knew intellectually that my drinking was a serious problem - becoming an obsession, causing me to isolate myself from my loved ones, imperiling my health. But, every night at 5 pm I shoved that aside. I tried quitting and moderating on my own many times but inevitably, eventually I ended up in the same place, waking up filled with shame and regret. I realized I could not will myself into sobriety so I went to outpatient rehab, where I got the support and accountability that I need. My AV is still constantly trying to talk me into drinking again. I ache for a drink every evening and every morning I wake up proud that I am sober.

chickippo

because, thankfully, i realised i was at a point where choice would also soon be a thing of the past. i chose to stop digging my own grave one drink at a time. i made that choice 2 years and 1 month ago and not once have i regretted it.

i have a dear friend who is currently in a hospital, yellow and likely dying. her children are gone, her life is going, and i am very frightened that she won't make it. she's in her early 30s. i don't know if she has a choice left. i hope so, and i hope you do too.

LadyBlue0527

One of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. Also one of the best. I am amazed at how happy things make me that I used to turn my nose up at. I only did that because they got in the way of my drinking.

I don't call the day I stopped drinking the day I made the choice to be sober. The true choice came when cravings hit. That's when the work began.

Mountainmanbob

I prefer to say that I made a decision to stop drinking rather than choice.
Mountainman

Centered3

There's a choice in taking the first drink.

sugarbear1

My world fell apart. I had no choice but to choose not to drink. And this was "iffy" in the beginning.

I didn't want to get sober. I didn't really have a choice. Pawn stuff (I was dead broke) or..... who knows?