FreeOwl

non sequitur

Nowsthetime

I don't understand this. Who else would make the choice? This is all up to us, the self.

Don't cut your nose to spite your face!!! Recovery is a shift of attitude and thoughts and this is how it starts.

Hope to see you around.

Mountainmanbob

There is that word -- serious.
It seems that sobriety worked best for me
once I made a serious decision to stop drinking.

Sobering up and staying sober is not to be played with.
My friend here in the AA Program in the desert
is going through a rough time right now
his estranged wife was found dead just the other day
with a bottle of gin by her side.

A nice sober day wished for all,
M-Bob

Bird615

I think that what helped me to finally get sober was that when that "shift" in my thinking finally came, I had to also be willing to be damned uncomfortable for a while. To once and for all do whatever it took to not give in to those cravings no matter how strong they were.

I tried all kinds of things, like playing the tape forward, talking to someone, going to meetings, eating ice cream, etc, but there were a lot of times that I was curled up in a ball crying in frustration. I rode it out, knowing deep down that to give in would only make it all worse.

I couldn't take that kind of suffering before that until all the pain that came from drinking became unbearable enough.

So, in a sense, it was a choice, in that I chose to suffer through the misery of craving in order to avoid the consequences of giving in and drinking. I also had to choose to use the things/tools I had that would help me stay sober and be happy that way.

LadyBlue0527

There is no way around this. Only through no matter how uncomfortable it gets.

August252015

YEP. I too get a little annoyed at some of the "how can I do it/help me/why can't I" etc posts. I mostly skim or don't read them- or respond where I feel I have something positively useful to say and it is always for me as much as the OP or others. I can't let the getting annoyed part get in my way. As many say, it is do or do not, so all of us who want to recover have to do.

patchadams

I definitely agree that it is your choice, for the last 9 months I have not gone more than one day sober. for 9 months I went to work saying I will TRY not to go home with beer, and every night i did anyway.

Through a long talk with my wife and research leading me to this forum I have made my choice. there is no try, this is only do or do not. and with this realization and support from my family and this group, I have made it to day 3. Not a huge start yet but in scope its 3 times longer than I have lasted in over 9 months.

The only "snap" I have had is that my mindset was holding me back. I hate drinking, I hate being drunk and I have to face these hard time ahead to get back to what I enjoy and release the shackles I closed onto myself.

ScottFromWI

Folks...let's all please remember that we are here to help each other, not argue who is more "right" when it comes to how we go about our own recovery. If you feel yourself getting too heated or upset over a particular conversation, sometimes just stepping away for a while is the best thing to do.

Anna

Many posts have been removed. If members annoy you, use the Ignore function and do not read. We are all exactly where we should be in this journey.

Please remember our Mandate in Newcomers:

The Newcomers Forum is a safe and welcoming place for newcomers. Respect is essential. Debates over Recovery Methods are not allowed on the Newcomer's Forum. Posts that violate this rule will be removed without notice. (Support and experience only please.)

MIRecovery

Dangerous business quoting MIRecovery. God only knows what he will say.

shortstop81

I'm not a fan of the tone of this thread.

I'd wager that many of us (if not most, and myself included) have been in this position. Still stuck in the alcoholic way of thinking, and not yet having the tools or knowledge to actively work our recovery.

Everyone is at different stages and everyone has to find their own path to recovery, even if it means making the same mistakes we did in our pasts.

If anyone here finds it 'annoying', or frustrating, then maybe the newcomers section isn't really for you. As was already quoted, carry the message, share your experiences. That's all you can do.

MIRecovery

Being a silent bystander to the death and destruction of so many is not easy or pleasant. I'm up to five friends that are no longer here. It is especially difficult when you know there is a way out. My frustration and anger flares from time to time because I just don't want to lose anyone else.

I am human and I make mistakes I can only pray that my words will assist someone in a small way on the path to recovery

shortstop81

MI - I empathize with that. I truly do. I've seen addiction rip away from me people whom are very close.

Brauggi

I think one of the most sage things I read on here regarding how to stop drinking was just not to drink. I remember being annoyed and frustrated by the simplicity of the idea, I mean, there had to be more to it than that! Over time that principle has become the foundation of my sobriety so I certainly can see what Soberwolf is saying.

I think it is hard for me to remember now how hard it was to stick to my convictions early on, and how much of a struggle it was to eliminate habits that I had cultivated over several years. I think it is also hard for a newcomer to see that advice as anything more than some preachy and asinine idea that doesn't tell them anything they hadn't heard before, but it really is more than that.

Giving advice on here can get thankless at times, as we don't always get to see the results that we were hoping for, but it can also be a cathartic thing for the person giving the advice. It can also keep us accountable and make sure that we don't end up back to where we started. Keep doing what you do SW, your intentions are certainly always in the right place.

Fly N Buy

I share my experience, strength and hope staying away from "advice" other than perhaps suggesting that institutional help is available as needed. All I can tell another is what is was like for me, what happened and how I have recovered thus far from alcoholism for 725 daze.

I never concern myself with another's outcome - that's not up to me.

Thanks for the thread wolfie......