Finally joined
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Join Date: May 2016
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Finally joined
Hi! I have known about this site for a while now, but I always put off joining. I suppose I did not want to admit that I have a problem with alcohol. Well I know I do and I want to tackle it. I am now off to join the class of June 2016. Have a good day everyone! 
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Join Date: May 2016
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I logged off and had a little weep. I'm crying again now. I think I am relieved that I am finally admitting that I have a problem. I am also really really scared that I will mess up within a few days. I said I wasn't going to drink yday, ended up drinking. Now I have some form of accountability, I want to let my SR friends know that I Can stay sober. One day at a time... I'm going to put the kettle on and have a fruit tea. Anyone else want one?
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
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Welcome Northern Lass. I cried too after I finally admitted my problem. It's very confronting but a good sign. You know this is real now. There's no running away from this.
Great job joining the June class. My SR class helped me so much.
You'll be all right. This is not to be underestimated but you can do it. We are all here to help and understand.
Great job joining the June class. My SR class helped me so much.
You'll be all right. This is not to be underestimated but you can do it. We are all here to help and understand.
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Join Date: May 2016
Location: Bossier city, LA
Posts: 45
im in the same boat about worring about falling back. i just started day 3 and im worried im going to falter on the drive home after work. that is always the worst 30 minutes i give in and im already craving bad with 4 hours of work left
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Join Date: May 2016
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patchadams. 3 days is great! Don't give in as you'll only have to start over again. Try and ride out the cravings, they will subside and if you succeed you will be so proud of yourself for not giving in! (based on my experience) Treat yourself to something that you don't usually have, candy bar, cake, hot chocolate, huge burger etc. Enjoy it, but try not to go back to the alcohol. Keep us updated!
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
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Have you heard of the HALT triggers? HALT stands for Hunger-Anger-Lonely-Tired. And a lot of these can be at play at the end of a working day. I'd suggest thinking about each of them, and how you can safeguard yourself from it in the lead up to the drive home. Maybe some of this sounds a bit weird when you're focusing on alcohol, but honestly, those triggers really do intensify the cravings and weaken our resolve. This is an example of how I've used HALT as a basis for thinking through my (horrendous ) end of day commute.
Hungry - make sure that i remember to eat my lunch, and pack an extra snack to eat an hour before leaving work, and keep hydrated as I often feel extra hungry when i'm thirsty. Personally I find its better for me if it isn't a sugary snack, as I tend to find those sugar highs and lows really don't help me stabilise my mood or emotions, but others swear by ice cream and candy. I find whole fruit and /or a sandwich, or wholemeal pasta / bean salad more useful.
Angry - I've found a couple of prayers that really help me with this, as they refocus me on the bigger picture. These are the serenity prayer and the Do It Anyway prayer. I also try to remind myself that most things I got angry about at work over the last 20 years just SEEMED really important at the time, but actually I'd forgotten all about them a week or so later. Or realised that actually my part in it was bigger than i cared to admit or realise at the time. And even if the anger is justified, the only person it's hurting is me.
Lonely - Sometimes i check in here. Often i text an AA friend and arrange to meet for coffee and chat later in the evening. If possible I call my mum for a chat, but even at 70 she still works most days, and if she's not at work she's at the gym, so that's just an occasional one really . Doing something to help someone (even if its just a little thing, like helping someone carry a big box out of the building or listening to someone else offload about their day- anything that brings my focus back out from introspection ).
Tired - sometimes there's not much I can do about this one , but I do find that sometimes running cold water on my inner arms and wrists (pressure points?) can be helpful short term, and keeping the car window open even its a little chilly.
I've also banned myself from having any CDS in the car that encourage wishful thinking or are about broken hearts, alcohol, or similar. I go to AA so I use a lot of AA speaker recordings on my journey home. I've also discovered Amazon Audible, and can use my kindle and headphones to listen to a good book or some comedy on the way home.
Haha. Not sure if the above sounds completely nuts or just common sense. I know it keeps me safe though so I keep doing it. When I don't do it I soon notice the difference and my AV will always be pretty quick to try to drag me back into the vortex of negative thinking when I don't safe-guard myself by working my plan.
Hungry - make sure that i remember to eat my lunch, and pack an extra snack to eat an hour before leaving work, and keep hydrated as I often feel extra hungry when i'm thirsty. Personally I find its better for me if it isn't a sugary snack, as I tend to find those sugar highs and lows really don't help me stabilise my mood or emotions, but others swear by ice cream and candy. I find whole fruit and /or a sandwich, or wholemeal pasta / bean salad more useful.
Angry - I've found a couple of prayers that really help me with this, as they refocus me on the bigger picture. These are the serenity prayer and the Do It Anyway prayer. I also try to remind myself that most things I got angry about at work over the last 20 years just SEEMED really important at the time, but actually I'd forgotten all about them a week or so later. Or realised that actually my part in it was bigger than i cared to admit or realise at the time. And even if the anger is justified, the only person it's hurting is me.
Lonely - Sometimes i check in here. Often i text an AA friend and arrange to meet for coffee and chat later in the evening. If possible I call my mum for a chat, but even at 70 she still works most days, and if she's not at work she's at the gym, so that's just an occasional one really . Doing something to help someone (even if its just a little thing, like helping someone carry a big box out of the building or listening to someone else offload about their day- anything that brings my focus back out from introspection ).
Tired - sometimes there's not much I can do about this one , but I do find that sometimes running cold water on my inner arms and wrists (pressure points?) can be helpful short term, and keeping the car window open even its a little chilly.
I've also banned myself from having any CDS in the car that encourage wishful thinking or are about broken hearts, alcohol, or similar. I go to AA so I use a lot of AA speaker recordings on my journey home. I've also discovered Amazon Audible, and can use my kindle and headphones to listen to a good book or some comedy on the way home.
Haha. Not sure if the above sounds completely nuts or just common sense. I know it keeps me safe though so I keep doing it. When I don't do it I soon notice the difference and my AV will always be pretty quick to try to drag me back into the vortex of negative thinking when I don't safe-guard myself by working my plan.
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Join Date: May 2016
Location: Bossier city, LA
Posts: 45
thanks for the examples! we talked about HALT yesterday but the examples help it make more sense. I definitely have a mix between the 4 depending on the day. because of the nature of my job, i could go home exausted, hungry and angry if my employees or my machine arnt working the way they are supposed to. and the lonely aspect happens a lot too, although having this forum has helped a lot. My job has me in the middle of a feet several hundred yards wide and long so im pretty secluded. that and im new to this shift with most of my friends on the one before, so i dont talk much to anyone outside of 3 or 4 people that share my work ethic
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PS. I did a whole lot of weeping as well. So easy of it was relief though. I'd spent so long wrestling with the whole effort of trying to find a way of making moderation work for me, conceding defeat from that particular battle and accepting that I just couldn't drink was actually a good feeling in many ways. Scary though as I couldn't begin to imagine what my life, or what I myself, would be like without alcohol. When I first went to AA I cried through most of the meetings in the first few weeks on and off. I'd recommend looking out for BOGOF deals on good quality balm tissues if you're anything like I was. It can be a raw old time emotionally. It may be simpler, but that's not the same as easy. But it does gradually get easier and easier.
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Join Date: May 2016
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No worries! um, bit shaky and jumpy. Think might be thirst or hunger so having buttered toast and lots of water. I really hope its not alcohol shakes. Thanks for asking! It's late afternoon here so not hit the trigger point yet (early evening onwards) But I just have to ride out any cravings.
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BB yes! I kept thinking i could control my drinking through moderation too. Just one glass...... by the end of the evening the bottle has gone and I am looking for more... Sick of it. I would prefer not to go to AA mtgs tho. I am hoping SR can help me.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
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Originally Posted by patchadams 
thanks for the examples! we talked about HALT yesterday but the examples help it make more sense. I definitely have a mix between the 4 depending on the day. because of the nature of my job, i could go home exausted, hungry and angry if my employees or my machine arnt working the way they are supposed to. and the lonely aspect happens a lot too, although having this forum has helped a lot. My job has me in the middle of a feet several hundred yards wide and long so im pretty secluded. that and im new to this shift with most of my friends on the one before, so i dont talk much to anyone outside of 3 or 4 people that share my work ethic
I tend to find that I can kind of get away with it if there is one at play. It there are 2 at play I start getting rattly. If there are 3 or 4 I need to sort it out quickly as I know I'll soon become completely irrational and am likely to make things worse for myself rather than look for solutions.
Could you keep photos of people who love you in your wallet or pocket or at work somewhere, just to remind you that you are loved. That can make a difference you know. I'd suggest going out of your way to nurture your work relationships with those 3 or 4 people who share your work ethic. Go out of your way to talk to them. Smile. Make eye contact. Maybe take in donuts to celebrate the last day of the working week with them. You have nothing to lose by being friendly. The worst thing that could happen is that they're not so friendly back, but although thats a risk, rejection actually doesn't kill us, and doesn't happen as often as we fear it will . At the end of the day, we can only have friends by being friends. I do find that just knowing I have my AA support network there is a big help on a bad day. And there's always someone I can call or text. And often they call or text me if they're having a hard time so I can help them, which is a great feeling.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
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Originally Posted by NorthernLass
BB yes! I kept thinking i could control my drinking through moderation too. Just one glass...... by the end of the evening the bottle has gone and I am looking for more... Sick of it. I would prefer not to go to AA mtgs tho. I am hoping SR can help me.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by NorthernLass
No worries! um, bit shaky and jumpy. Think might be thirst or hunger so having buttered toast and lots of water. I really hope its not alcohol shakes. Thanks for asking! It's late afternoon here so not hit the trigger point yet (early evening onwards) But I just have to ride out any cravings.
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Join Date: May 2016
Location: Bossier city, LA
Posts: 45
in the same boat on the moderation. tried to do just weekends, then it became thursday and weekends and on from there. Ive got a great work relationship with those 3 people. so that helps and ive got pictures of my son and wife with me at all times. I think the biggest part is the routine. I have 3 ways to get home and i would go those ways on different days to buy beer at different stores as if i was hiding my addiction. im normally good till i pass one of those stores and the AV hits, those tapes would probably do a lot of good so as the AV starts i have a reminder for why im staying the course
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