need drink
 

:( ...i feel like i need to drink ...i have no money ...want to hide away from the past but it keeps replaying in my head over and over :scorebad

Drinking will only make it all worse. How about hitting an AA meeting, they are free. You could spend some time with us here on SR too - we understand how it feels and you definitely don't want to go there.

there are AA meets in this city but i am too scared to go if there are men there
normally i can handle men but things that are upsetting me at the moment and i feel vulnerable there is a womens AA meeting on a thursday night i can go to ...my husband can take me there

The past is over. Today is all you have. Sounds like you are safe and you have your husband. Try not to let the past define today. Can your hubby go with you to a meeting? All ya have to do is sit there. Just make sure its an open meeting. It'll say in the schedule on line.

its late here but my husband said he will take me to one tomorrow
i was an member here before but my name and passwords i kinda mixed it up
i made this account a long time ago i can go to a meeting av been going back and forwards to meetings on and off for years

Sounds like a good idea to attend the meeting tomorrow, welcome back to the site as well, glad you could get back logged in. There are plenty of folks here who you can talk with, there's a women's only forum too if you'd like to ask some questions there as well. Either way, let us know if we can help get you through the cravings or any other issues you might like to discuss.

its been a year and a half since av had a drink but when am upset about things its my first got to ...that or self injury last time i self injured was 2 weeks ago

Welcome Worthless. Please stay and read and post until the urge passes. Lots of support and understanding here.

hurting so much ...going to change my username ...silly name this one

Good idea! change your name to something more positive.

I think changing your name is an excellent idea! :)

Keep posting here, the urge to drink will go away.

I'm happy to hear your husband is offering you support.

Hang in there.

Welcome...I am going to call you "W", because you are not worthless. (((Hugs)))

Welcome back W. Stick around, we all help each other out.

You're not alone.

As well as getting to meeting, bear in mind that the 12-step recovery program of AA which is what makes so much difference to dealing with all those old fears, resentments, harms and relationships is kind of separate to meetings. I went to meeting for 6 months straight with those feeling building and building (although I stayed sober somehow). Once I got a sponsor and started addressing that hornets nest within, things started to get much easier and more comfortable. Now I do know serenity, and feel it on a regular basis. It's a feeling that I honestly never knew or could imagine before, and wouldn't have recognised the feeling if I'd landed in a cloud of it.

I hope the meeting goes well. I don't get to go to a women's meeting, but have figured out that not all mixed meetings are the same. The ones that are text based (Big Book, or 12 and 12, or a Living Sober meeting) tend to be the ones that attract more peaceful and gentle types as a rule. They could be worth checking out.

Also, something I find useful to top up between meetings are the speaker recordings. There are lots of great ones on this website, and it's all free... 5500+ AA Speakers & Tapes - Organized & Mobile-Friendly! or on YouTube if that's easier.

hey its W
my husband feels that av gotten this far without AA he thinks i dont need it as much as i never have money or i cant get drink ...unsure if i should go ...

What do you think Lily? Sounds to me like you still have thoughts of drinking based on your recent posts, I would think that continuing to go to AA would be a good idea.

yes am going , am taking myself there but my husband is meeting me after it

I'd suggest going along regardless of what he says, and YOU deciding if you need it. With all due respect to your OH, is he some kind of recovery expert? My OH had a lot to say about my drinking / recovery. None of it particularly helpful. He'd say 'just cut down' or 'you only drink like me, so you MUST be okay' (LMAO ).

Why my OH just can't 'get' is that there is a lot of difference between abstaining from drinking, and recovery. I chose recovery, and don't regret that for a second. The idea of returning to the tsunami of negativity inside me fills me with horror.

we are here for you lily, I hope the AA meetings help you find your way.