Just be you weekender May 27th Pt 2
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Tetra. The whole "being mean to Tetra" thing is rather baffling to me. Unless they are engaging in hazing to see how you stand up to them. If you don't react, the bullies tend to lose interest. Didn't they want an employee? Very bizarre and I'm sorry that you have to deal with it.
It stopped raining here. So far.
Mec, good work on more bags of clothes to get rid of. I need to work on a giant pile I have accumulating in my basement.
Csaw, glad to have you. Just jump in wherever.
It stopped raining here. So far.
Mec, good work on more bags of clothes to get rid of. I need to work on a giant pile I have accumulating in my basement.
Csaw, glad to have you. Just jump in wherever.
A simple guy making his way
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Hola Team! Welcome to the new folks.
Thank you to Melina and Mex and Sao for the descriptions. I hope I did not miss anyone. You all said it well and I am always curious when to hear how others see things.
Trying hard to look across the spectrum we will only ever be able to see to the horizon. Never over it.
Back from my day out in the white mountains. I had an ok relaxing day. Gonna post some pics in a few on the other thread. Too lazy at the moment.
BTW... I taste tested the pickles to be sure I have them going ok. Oh boy. They are my best. They need days and I want to eat them all now!
Thank you to Melina and Mex and Sao for the descriptions. I hope I did not miss anyone. You all said it well and I am always curious when to hear how others see things.
Trying hard to look across the spectrum we will only ever be able to see to the horizon. Never over it.
Back from my day out in the white mountains. I had an ok relaxing day. Gonna post some pics in a few on the other thread. Too lazy at the moment.
BTW... I taste tested the pickles to be sure I have them going ok. Oh boy. They are my best. They need days and I want to eat them all now!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,129
Had the worst possible meltdown with the ex about seeing his son.
I have been nicey nice bc I wanted to make peace and I was sorry I had been mean during our relationship. I didn't bring up the things he did that hurt me, I was trying to acknowledge my wrongs and try to start anew. Bc I missed him and I missed his son desperately.
I thought if I focused on my side of the street and then he forgave me, he wouldn't do the things that hurt me so badly and maybe everything would work out. And happily ever after and all that crap.
It's been going on for over a month that basically I am just eating doodoo with a smile on my face in order to make peace, and try to be less aggressive.
I get jerked around a lot in terms of me waiting around all day and then he snaps his fingers for me to come. After I've wasted the whole day waiting. They live an hour away, btw.
He started doing that this morning, just leaving me hanging, very short answers, etc etc. Not answering my calls about making plans, etc.
The son has been calling me for days telling me to come over. I get the son face timing on his iPad and I tell him I need to talk to Daddy. His dad was ignoring me and pretending he needed to put his full attention on making the world's most important peanut butter and jelly.
He whispered to his son to hang up on me.
I got him on the phone, said a few choice words, and he hung up on me.
I unleashed holy hell through text, and he fired back. Really low blows on both our parts. The ugliest. He fired an insult at me regarding something I'm not proud of from 24 years ago that I told him about in confidence. I insulted his education level, choices in previous marriage and his parenting. It was gross.
Ok I guess that's enough details. Drama drama drama
Have I finally had enough? Is there any meat on this bone? Is there any point to keep trying? I want to be free and I keep reeling myself back in. Bc I love them.
Anyone's perspective would be helpful. I'm a little lost here.
Sometimes I think I should go easy on him, he's just a person trying to get through in this hard world like anybody else. And other times I'm thinking I shouldn't have his behavior near me bc it's not loving or very respectful. It doesn't feel "sober" if that makes sense.
Edit: by sober I mean my mental state. The obsession and drama, the sucker for punishment behavior. Codependency, the need to get kicked while I'm down. Feels toxic and not good, yet it's familiar and "comfortable" ground from my years of addiction and growing up in an alcoholic household. He is sober, drinking and drugs never interested him to the same extent as me.
I have been nicey nice bc I wanted to make peace and I was sorry I had been mean during our relationship. I didn't bring up the things he did that hurt me, I was trying to acknowledge my wrongs and try to start anew. Bc I missed him and I missed his son desperately.
I thought if I focused on my side of the street and then he forgave me, he wouldn't do the things that hurt me so badly and maybe everything would work out. And happily ever after and all that crap.
It's been going on for over a month that basically I am just eating doodoo with a smile on my face in order to make peace, and try to be less aggressive.
I get jerked around a lot in terms of me waiting around all day and then he snaps his fingers for me to come. After I've wasted the whole day waiting. They live an hour away, btw.
He started doing that this morning, just leaving me hanging, very short answers, etc etc. Not answering my calls about making plans, etc.
The son has been calling me for days telling me to come over. I get the son face timing on his iPad and I tell him I need to talk to Daddy. His dad was ignoring me and pretending he needed to put his full attention on making the world's most important peanut butter and jelly.
He whispered to his son to hang up on me.
I got him on the phone, said a few choice words, and he hung up on me.
I unleashed holy hell through text, and he fired back. Really low blows on both our parts. The ugliest. He fired an insult at me regarding something I'm not proud of from 24 years ago that I told him about in confidence. I insulted his education level, choices in previous marriage and his parenting. It was gross.
Ok I guess that's enough details. Drama drama drama
Have I finally had enough? Is there any meat on this bone? Is there any point to keep trying? I want to be free and I keep reeling myself back in. Bc I love them.
Anyone's perspective would be helpful. I'm a little lost here.
Sometimes I think I should go easy on him, he's just a person trying to get through in this hard world like anybody else. And other times I'm thinking I shouldn't have his behavior near me bc it's not loving or very respectful. It doesn't feel "sober" if that makes sense.
Edit: by sober I mean my mental state. The obsession and drama, the sucker for punishment behavior. Codependency, the need to get kicked while I'm down. Feels toxic and not good, yet it's familiar and "comfortable" ground from my years of addiction and growing up in an alcoholic household. He is sober, drinking and drugs never interested him to the same extent as me.
Last edited by Melina; 06-01-2016 at 01:06 PM. Reason: To clarify sober state of mind
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Just having a bad time lately brynn, definitely not looking forward to my birthday later this month.
Guess I am experiencing the I want it right nows, I don't like having to wait with these doctors.
Ok ... enough of the pity party.
Guess I am experiencing the I want it right nows, I don't like having to wait with these doctors.
Ok ... enough of the pity party.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Nice fish Brain.
SU, I'm sorry that you're having a bummer time. No, June can't be over yet. I'm sorry about that. Because selfishly it means that my life will truly be just flashing before my eyes. However, can we help lighten your load?
Melina. Granted, I'm certainly NOT the best person to give relationship advice but I saw a couple of things in what you wrote that you may wish to consider. You're being nice and clearing your side of the street because you want something. You want forgiveness. You want happily ever after. And that isn't being handed to you. At least, not right now. So you're getting angry and upset. He's lashing out and hurting you. It isn't a pretty situation.
Take care of you. Can you step away from this for a few months? Absolutely NO contact? I know it hurts like heck because you love that kid but honestly, you're tying yourself into knots. Hugs to you. I know what it's like to get ugly and texty and mean. You get an anger hangover. Ugh.
SU, I'm sorry that you're having a bummer time. No, June can't be over yet. I'm sorry about that. Because selfishly it means that my life will truly be just flashing before my eyes. However, can we help lighten your load?
Melina. Granted, I'm certainly NOT the best person to give relationship advice but I saw a couple of things in what you wrote that you may wish to consider. You're being nice and clearing your side of the street because you want something. You want forgiveness. You want happily ever after. And that isn't being handed to you. At least, not right now. So you're getting angry and upset. He's lashing out and hurting you. It isn't a pretty situation.
Take care of you. Can you step away from this for a few months? Absolutely NO contact? I know it hurts like heck because you love that kid but honestly, you're tying yourself into knots. Hugs to you. I know what it's like to get ugly and texty and mean. You get an anger hangover. Ugh.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,129
I'm going to take your advice to the letter, Ruby. It has to be better than what I'm doing. And we'll see what my motives really are... If it's fear of loneliness or what.
I don't like being the ugly texty monster. It's scary the rush I get out of slinging those low blows. It's primal and it is beasty and it's not cool.
Thank you xoxo
I don't like being the ugly texty monster. It's scary the rush I get out of slinging those low blows. It's primal and it is beasty and it's not cool.
Thank you xoxo
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,806
I pretty much agree with Ruby, Melina. A step back to examine your motives (and give him time to possibly figure his out too) might be a good thing. I know that's hard and sucky because of the kid, but it sounds like the poor little guy is getting put in the middle of all this and that's not fair to him either. This is one of those times when adulting comes fully into play. And unfortunately, you're going to have to be the adult. Since it sounds like the ex isn't. He's taking out his anger on you (and the baby) and being a petulant child. A cooling off period is in order, I think. But what do I know.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,183
Eating doodoo with a smile on your face is probably not the best way to rekindle a relationship, especially as I don't believe you had anything to apologise for in the first place. He is totally exploiting your feelings for the boy to treat you like cr*p which is cruel on both you and the boy. As Ruby and Marty said you have to be the adult since he is incapable of being one and you have to make the decision to have no contact. I know that is really tough so I do feel for you melina
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Brynn: math nerd isn't coming- but I think I'll write him letters and send postcards along the way 
Wanna hear about him? Sure you all do! Haha
Well he has a masters in math, BA in science, diploma in engineering and digital media one too.
He's really smart and edgy.
Reads a ton of books from paradise lost to history; he's a boxer too.
Plays video games and has a wickedly sharp sense of humour.
Very very handsome in an earthy way.
As I mentioned we can sit and talk for 14 hours no sleep.
We ordered pizza and sat on his bed reading each other articles from national geographic deep into the night haha.
He draws really well too, and can fix things.
He sits and does algebra for fun haha.
A bit of an alpha dog too, doesn't take **** from anyone.
Like me he loves universities and could spend all day at one.
There's more, but I could go on all day.
How cool can a guy get? Seriously.
Wanna hear about him? Sure you all do! Haha
Well he has a masters in math, BA in science, diploma in engineering and digital media one too.
He's really smart and edgy.
Reads a ton of books from paradise lost to history; he's a boxer too.
Plays video games and has a wickedly sharp sense of humour.
Very very handsome in an earthy way.
As I mentioned we can sit and talk for 14 hours no sleep.
We ordered pizza and sat on his bed reading each other articles from national geographic deep into the night haha.
He draws really well too, and can fix things.
He sits and does algebra for fun haha.
A bit of an alpha dog too, doesn't take **** from anyone.
Like me he loves universities and could spend all day at one.
There's more, but I could go on all day.
How cool can a guy get? Seriously.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,183
SUID - I hope you feel better soon too It has always struck me that it must be a real additional worry when you visit the doctor in the US that you might be hit with some huge bill. I know you have insurance companies but they always find ways of getting out of paying.
LB - they really are good photos, you must have a lot of patience
LB - they really are good photos, you must have a lot of patience
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Originally Posted by trachemys 
Anyone as twisted as he seems to be doesn't need substances.
Get. Away.
Get. Away.
I mean I know alcohol and drugs aren't a free pass- but at least it makes sense.
When people are like that sober it freaks me out
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