bemyself

What a fabulous point, madgirl. 'really sick of the &^$#$! subject' of alcohol - nails the fact that my brain has become so deeply re-wired, literally, by roughly 45 years span of drinking and / or using other drugs in varying degrees over different phases of my life. So, yeah, as others remind us, that's essentially why for thoughts of 'oooh, wouldn't a drink / drug be just the thing right now...' are so normal. As irritating as that is. Well, I find it irritating, and often downright scary.

The actual circumstance when it pops its ugly little head up is really only a shot of brain-memory from one or a million other such situations. Hence, the wry notion from experience of 'yeah, well, I can want a drink on any day ending with Y...' or 'mad, bad, sad, glad', etc etc. Sunny? Check. Wintry? Check. During or after (or before) doing X, Y, Z and A, B and C ? Check. Jaysus, no wonder non-addict people are completely baffled, and will never really 'get' just how literally embedded it became in our lives.

Equally, absolutely small wonder that it can take quite some time for these triggers to more or less evaporate, and to lose their delusional power. And there's the hope right there, ICDB. Well done for sitting through it. Urge-surfing par excellence.

hpdw

I posted here a few days back with the same issue , irritated and angry that I was an alcoholic , It passed and I was fine . treat it just as a thought and dont feed it .

Hope you are feeling better soon

priceyjunk

Just wanted to say thanks. To everyone. This thread has helped me through a really hard day.

LadyBlue0527

Neither did I and that thought was part of the others that led me back to drinking19 months ago after having 17 months of sobriety. I can no longer make that statement.


This is not to say it would ever happen to you but when you drink all bets are off.

You did all the right things in coming here and venting about how you were feeling.

Praying that I see an addition to your ICDB thread this morning.

Nonsensical

People who can enjoy 1 or 2 don't spend hours obsessing about having 1 or 2.

If you want to truly enjoy something, then break free from your addiction. Freedom from that obsession is better than any buzz you can get from a bottle. It takes time. It takes work. And above all else, it takes sobriety. But. It. Will. Happen.

Kelly12390

It's so not worth it. You can get through it, and getting through it will be much easier than getting through the aftermath of a drink!!! That I promise you.

Please get through it.

BixBees505

So much accuracy and insight in this thread. Really needed it myself. I'm with priceyjunk in saying "thank you". Just awesome conversation, support, wisdom....great shares.

soberclover

Whoever made up this "moderation" concept is truly the devil. Moderation doesn't work for alcoholics; never did and never will. I do agree that part of the real work of sobriety is dealing with these type of thoughts that creep in. Yup, it sucks but it is reality.

ICanDoBetter

In my mind I can picture myself right now crossing my arms, stomping my feet, and shouting "but I wanna!"

Damnit lol

dwtbd

Just like a physical workout , no pain no gain Congrats on building sober muscle
Take those victories over the AV and its asinine temper tantrums and use the sober muscle next time to rationalize(the good kind) your way to understanding that the 'missing out on the few hours of relaxing' isn't that , it would be the start down a path you have decided is not for you, right?
I would bet all the nice weather and refreshing dips in the pool in the world, that you do not regret your choices yesterday , eh ?
Sorry that it can suck sometimes, but it does get better. Keeping drinking off the table as an option , will in time help to make the 'argument in your head' sound more like "i'm not going to let a tantrum make me feel like crap, so **** off AV, it ain't an option".
great job kickin some AV butt

Nonsensical

We had a thread some time ago where someone asked how people envisioned their AV. Many people described (or posted a picture of) a monster or demon of some sort. That was probably how I would have described my AV early in my sobriety journey, too. But now I see it just like you described - a spoiled child throwing a tantrum when it can't get its way.

It has no real power, so it pitches a [b-word]. It can be irritating and annoying, but it can't really hurt you. And what happens when you give in and give that brat what it wants? You have ensured that you will be treated to another tantrum in the future.

Glad you posted.

You are doing this.

ICanDoBetter

We are having company today and I decided to think of a healthful refreshing drink I could attempt. Never have made homemade lemonade. So bloomed for some recipes and I'm going to make one with some lemonade as a base with mashed berries added, maybe a hint of fresh mint.

hpdw

Sound nice ICDB , Tango apple juice it was for me today .
I want you to know how much you have helped me here , your strength inspires me . Some brilliant educational wise posts in this thread , fantastic stuff .

strategery

You could make lavender lemonade too. Allrecipes has a pretty good recipe if you have loose leaf lavender tea.

sugarbear1

Arnold Palmer is a cool drink! Almost half and half tea and lemonade.....and if made fresh? Wowza!!!

ICanDoBetter

Experimental success... Fresh squeezed lemon juice, coconut water, seltzer water, and raspberries and strawberries soaked in a little coconut sugar then mashed... served over crushed ice with a slice of each lemon and lime, and in an old family glass.

Next time and when I have more time, I'm going to attempt sangria or infused water.

AnvilheadII

dude(ette), that sounds AMAZING! look at you go!

ICanDoBetter

it's yummy day two as well :-)