Dee74

Fricks advice is pretty good Kelly

We all get it here - many of us have been in that same situation. I ended up in the ER or hospital a few times - not from drinking so much as falls, but it's all interconnected.


You can make this your turning point

you never need to feel this way again

D

Anna

Kelly, I'm sorry you're going through this and I understand you feel ashamed and embarrassed. It's what alcoholism does to us and it's devastating. Your blackout evening sounds very scary. I had blackouts at the end of my drinking days and they were just terrifying. I hope you make the decision to stay sober and do whatever you need to do to make that happen.

teatreeoil007

You in no way have overshared, Kelly!

I am glad you are alive. That was a close call, friend. The pain you describe is not normal and should be checked out. Since you have no memory of what could have happened when you blacked out, well, I don't want to overshare either. But, please don't be too ashamed to seek help for what ails you, 'k?

Kelly12390

Thank you all! I have stayed sober since I got out of the hospital. I feel terrible. I'm scared. I am trying to think positive but it's so difficult now.

I can't remember much at the hotel, apparently I could not be woken up at the bar and that's when ambulance was called but what happened in the meantime, I can't recall.

Rar

Hang in there. Glad you didn't drink. You can do this.

soberclover

This can be your fresh start. Remember what happened to you on the last night of your drinking but do move forward. Put your energy into the recovery of your body, mind, and spirit. My last night drinking was also a nightmare ending in the ICU at the hospital. I do hope you go to a meeting so you can find others like yourself. We are here as well. I hope you return to your doctor and have an open and honest conversation about your alcoholism. I did and it made all the difference.

Camery03

Hi Kelly-
Welcome to SR!! I don't have anything new to add, only to say that I would agree with everyone on this sight. I too hit rock bottom before I made the decision to quit. I literally drank for 3 days straight from the time I woke up until I passed out. To this day, I count my blessings I am still alive after that.
I would also suggest being honest with your doctor-- I was embarrassed to have that discussion, but once I did, it felt good. She is very supportive, and it now explains some of the health issues I have been having for the past year.

Kelly12390

Thank you everybody. I'm literally just walking home from a meeting right now. It was good and I am going to one tomorrow after work too. I'm scared though, I swore to myself before I'd quit.

If I do four meetings a week minimum and give it my all this time?
I feel like such a failure at this, I can't believe I relapsed again.

JD

Don't beat yourself up Kelly. You're not the first and you won't be the last to relapse. Just pick yourself up and work the program. You can do it!

least

I had many failures until I finally wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink. Make that your motto.

thomas11

Hi Kelly, I agree with others, go easy on yourself. The focus should be on moving forward and the future right now. Please don't take this as accusatory, but is the bar you were at known for any drug use? It sounds like something could have been slipped in your drink, especially if they could not wake you. Did they do a tox at the hospital? Might be important to find out if there was more than alcohol in your system.

You said you had personal items that weren't yours, are any of them something that could identify another person? I take it you don't recall being with anyone else? Sorry so many questions, but a crime might have taken place.

sva777

I am going to have to second what Jeff said above^^^^

I woke up in the hospital a year and a half ago from booze/Xanax combo. Left the booze behind and except for two one day slips I have been sober. Best thing I ever did.

Kelly12390

I don't recall anything I blacked out fast. The bar I was in was actually the hotel bar, a nice hotel, not particularly known for drug use.

I don't know if they did tox reports at the hospital, everything is a blur.

I was taking to my friend a little while ago and i was found in the bathroom on the floor unresponsive. I didn't know this until a little while ago. I thought it was a case of passing out in the bar.

I feel so ashamed of myself. Trying to move forward but finding it difficult right now.


Thank you all for reading!

sugarbear1

sounds like you drank a lot in a short period of time....you've crossed a serious alcoholic line....

what method will you use to stay stopped?

Kelly12390

I drank so much so fast. I did a meeting today and I am planning on doing 4 a week minimum? I will get one tomorrow after work. Before, I always said I could/ would never do AA but I want to get better and I am looking forward to getting into recovery and doing AA this time.

For me, I also have issues with food that are starting to cross me over into reaching for a drink. I need to deal with this too because I know it's a massive trigger for drinking for me.

Do you think AA four times a week is solid enough?

awuh1

Good for you Kelly. I'm optimistic about your chances of staying sober. Go to as many meetings as you can in the beginning and as many different meetings as you can. Keep an open mind and an eye out for a sponsor.

All the best to you.

suki44883

Going to AA meetings four times a week is a great start; but the real program of AA is in working the steps. When you go to meetings, look for people with long-standing sobriety and ask one of them to be your sponsor. Your sponsor will help you work the steps. Good luck! The most important thing in attaining and keeping sobriety is attitude and willingness.

Kelly12390

How does getting a sponsor work? Do you have to be going for a solid amount of time before you can get one?
Does a sponsor do the steps with you?
Thanks

suki44883

You can ask for a sponsor your first time there, but I think it's better to go a few times and just watch the people who seem to have what you want. Often times, someone will ask if you are looking for a sponsor and offer their services, but I prefer to observe them for a while.

Yes, your sponsor will guide you through working the steps.

least

You only have to go to enough meetings to find someone who "has what you want". Yes, they go thru the steps with you. That is the job of a sponsor, to guide you thru the steps.


Suki, we posted the same thing at the same time!