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Old 05-26-2016, 01:07 AM   #1 (permalink)
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These posts gets old


Writing these posts get old real quick. I am not sure if anyone remembers me. I was not that involved on the forum, although I always read it.

I have not hit my low on this round but I can slowly see the damage it is doing to my marriage. My husband told me this morning that I was in a real fowl mood last night. I was drunk ofcourse and just made his evening miserable.

I have been going two nights a week without drinking just to convince myself I don't have a problem... but ofcourse when I do drink it is in excess. Last night I drank a litre of box wine (very classy).

The drinking started when I could not deal with my anxiety. Drinking numbs my mind so I go back to it around 1 week sober.

This is just to say that I am back on here and hopefully today will be my last day 1.

How does one work the 12 steps without attending a meeting? We do not have AA in South Africa but I think I need more then just willpower to win this time.
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Old 05-26-2016, 01:21 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Old 05-26-2016, 01:30 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I'm glad you're back! Maybe time to make a change? Give sobriety a long term try?
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Old 05-26-2016, 01:41 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Dear Zeekie, thank you for your share. I am also from South Africa and there are so many AA meetings taking place daily - if you go to Alcoholics Anonymous South Africa you will find more details. perhaps try out a few meetings - you will soon feel comfortable and make one your Home Group!
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Old 05-26-2016, 01:42 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I want to give sobriety a long term chance. I am obviously doing something wrong.
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Old 05-26-2016, 01:45 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Dear Zeekie, thank you for your share. I am also from South Africa and there are so many AA meetings taking place daily - if you go to Alcoholics Anonymous South Africa you will find more details. perhaps try out a few meetings - you will soon feel comfortable and make one your Home Group!
Thank you for your post AngelaE. Unfortunately I am out in a remote area in the Midlands of KZN . I don't see anything closeby. I found some AA online forum but the chats are very random and right now I don't need random.
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Old 05-26-2016, 01:54 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Welcome! I am on Day1 again too and I recognize your pattern with the one week sober and then back to drinking. Letīs make it this time!
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Old 05-26-2016, 01:56 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I remember you Zeekie - welcome back - why not join the Class of May Support thread - you too Teresia?

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Old 05-26-2016, 02:38 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Welcome! I am on Day1 again too and I recognize your pattern with the one week sober and then back to drinking. Letīs make it this time!
Hey Teresia let's break the cycle this time
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Old 05-26-2016, 02:39 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I remember you Zeekie - welcome back - why not join the Class of May Support thread - you too Teresia?

D
I have joined so many Month clubs Dee. I really hope this time I make it work. Thank you for remembering me
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Old 05-26-2016, 03:40 AM   #11 (permalink)
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In the AA South Africa link that AngelaE provided there is a "contact us" button that then displays a phone number. I'll bet that if you call you will find help of SOME kind. People in AA are wonderfully resourceful when it comes to helping alcoholics who genuinely want help.
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Old 05-26-2016, 03:49 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Welcome back! For all the times I've tried the one constant truth has been this can't be done alone. At least not in a way where the outcome is a healthy way of thinking. The more support you have the more successful you'll be. SR is monumental to success.

I'm glad you're here.
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Old 05-26-2016, 04:39 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Drinking 5 days out of the week seems excessive. However, being an alcoholic isn't about how often we drink, but how we drink. I cannot take a drink without craving more. I don't think I have ever had just one (I never wanted one! I wanted it all). The 12 steps are best worked with a sponsor (someone who has worked the 12 steps themselves with a sponsor) because they will help us work them best. Glad your here!
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Old 05-26-2016, 04:54 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Welcome Home, Zeekie!

Always glad to see someone coming back to SR, since that was also my pattern, for years: get sober, get drunk, run away, repeat...

This time is different, and can be for you, as well. This time, I'm posting twice a day, sharing a little and trying to encourage a lot, often just checking in to be accountable to myself and others. If support is what you need, all you have to do is type; someone will come along almost immediately, and you'll feel much less isolated, and likely be encouraged. This site...I can't say enough good things about it!

Very glad you're here...Arp
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Old 05-26-2016, 05:09 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Z,

Welcome back.

At 1 week you are beginning to heal physically, the booze has pretty much left your system. Your anxiety ramps up because your brain doesn't have the booze.

It is a death spiral that is hard to pull out of w out some real motivational reason.

I actually decided that I didn't want to solve the problem w booze, but rather get through it naturally.

It has been very difficult to do. Many people need anti depression meds to get by.

Some need them for life. I am drug free, but I suffer here and there daily.

Dealing w the long term anxiety cause bewilderment. This leads to relapse.

Each relapse is worse than the last.

If you have been here before, this might be just a reminder.

Get clean. Change your life a bit. Stay clean.

Thanks for the post.
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When I crave I think of the next day after effects:

high blood pressure, sleep issues, strength loss, immune system compromise (sick).

BpSSS. My mantra.

Studied "alcohol kindling" and "alcohol PAWS."

Last intoxication: 8 May 15.
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Old 05-26-2016, 05:29 AM   #16 (permalink)
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private email me if you want some links to online AA meetings
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Old 05-26-2016, 06:06 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Z,

Welcome back.

At 1 week you are beginning to heal physically, the booze has pretty much left your system. Your anxiety ramps up because your brain doesn't have the booze.

It is a death spiral that is hard to pull out of w out some real motivational reason.

I actually decided that I didn't want to solve the problem w booze, but rather get through it naturally.

It has been very difficult to do. Many people need anti depression meds to get by.

Some need them for life. I am drug free, but I suffer here and there daily.

Dealing w the long term anxiety cause bewilderment. This leads to relapse.

Each relapse is worse than the last.

If you have been here before, this might be just a reminder.

Get clean. Change your life a bit. Stay clean.

Thanks for the post.
Thank you for taking the time out to post this.

I actually just came from lunch and being in a small town, I go home at lunchtime. I binged ate so much and I think it's because I'm nervous, scared of messing up again. I ate and ate as much as one possible could in an hour (maybe I'm exaggerating).

Upon going through the cupboards for more food, I found some wine. I did not throw it out right there and then but I will as soon as I finish work.

I have been praying before every sobriety try for God to give me one more chance and I always mess it up. I am really serious about it this time guys. I have 2 small kids who's worlds begin and end with me. Just being faced with that wine a few minutes ago, made me realise what a slave I've become to this habit.
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Old 05-26-2016, 06:11 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Welcome back, Zeekie. Congratulations on choosing a better way of life in recovery. I've been sober since March 13, 2016 and I grow more and more confident every day that I am on the right path. That day definitely wasn't the lowest bottom that I'd ever experienced in my drinking but for whatever reason it's the day when something finally clicked for my own recovery.

Glad you're back with us, and I look forward to getting to know you better in recovery.
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Old 05-26-2016, 06:20 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Welcome back, Zeekie. Congratulations on choosing a better way of life in recovery. I've been sober since March 13, 2016 and I grow more and more confident every day that I am on the right path. That day definitely wasn't the lowest bottom that I'd ever experienced in my drinking but for whatever reason it's the day when something finally clicked for my own recovery.

Glad you're back with us, and I look forward to getting to know you better in recovery.
Your message made me smile. Thank you. How did you deal with the routine of not drinking in the early days? I have to find a more solid plan to keep busy.
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Old 05-26-2016, 06:25 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Welcome back zeekie! It is hard but if I can stay sober for over 8 months then anyone can! It is important to develop a strategy and have several ready made distractions that are things you like to do when that urge to drink happens. That urge will pass and you can be confident that you beat that AV one more time.
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