Ex-husband won't forgive, 3 years sober
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Oxnard
Posts: 173
Anna provided you some good resources, please use them. I am sorry to say this but this relationship you are in with this man is not healthy, and I can't even call him a man if he is choosing to inflict harm on another woman. Please do yourself a favor and get out of this abusive relationship.
You're doing all the right things in changing your life. It sounds like her has some personal issues, possibly emotional/mental issues that he needs to deal with. Rather than dealing with them in a healthy manner, he is taking them out on you. Please get help right away.
You're doing all the right things in changing your life. It sounds like her has some personal issues, possibly emotional/mental issues that he needs to deal with. Rather than dealing with them in a healthy manner, he is taking them out on you. Please get help right away.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 701
Wow. Sorry if I sound blunt, but if this is improvement, I would hate to see what your relationship was like before!
I have seen this before with friends. Someone does something, the other one SAYS they forgive, but in reality they just keep killing the same dead horse. They never really forgive, and continue to rehash and "punish" their partner.
In my opinion, if some decides to forgive, the issue has to be put to rest. If they truly can't do that, they need to just move on. If THEY can't seem to move on, then its up to you to end it. I generally try to steer clear of relationship advise, but abuse is non-negotiable in my book.
I have seen this before with friends. Someone does something, the other one SAYS they forgive, but in reality they just keep killing the same dead horse. They never really forgive, and continue to rehash and "punish" their partner.
In my opinion, if some decides to forgive, the issue has to be put to rest. If they truly can't do that, they need to just move on. If THEY can't seem to move on, then its up to you to end it. I generally try to steer clear of relationship advise, but abuse is non-negotiable in my book.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
He doesn't sound well does he? Perhaps he is sick too?
You said you had forgiven yourself, but what exactly have you done to heal past hurts with your boyfriend other than not drinking. Partners and ex partners of alcoholics can carry a world of hurt with what we do to them. Unacknowledged hurt brings resentment and bitterness. I have found it is necessary to do all in my power to heal the hurts I caused others.
You said you had forgiven yourself, but what exactly have you done to heal past hurts with your boyfriend other than not drinking. Partners and ex partners of alcoholics can carry a world of hurt with what we do to them. Unacknowledged hurt brings resentment and bitterness. I have found it is necessary to do all in my power to heal the hurts I caused others.
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