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Old 05-19-2016, 06:22 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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Join Date: May 2016
Location: Waltham, Ma
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New to this site!

Hello All,

I am 27 years old and finally coming to the grips that I have a drinking problem. I have a tried cutting back, but when I take a break from drinking I slowly (or sometime fast) come back to drinking in excess. I had a great girlfriend for three months and I used adderall and drank far too much one night causing me to cheat on her. This was in December and I still feel terrible about what I did. I not only hurt myself but someone else, really badly. I am not a daily drinker (close though) but when I drink I cannot stick to a limit and I do not know what will happen and that scares me a great deal. It is hard because my family is full of heavy drinkers (my mom and dad) and they don't see it as a true problem. They are older (Dad 73, Mom 69) and they are a huge part of my life because in almost all ways they were often great parents. Part of it might be because they know they might have a problem but are afraid to face it- I don't know. I have been on and off going to AA meeting having periods of sobriety and then telling myself I can drink only to repeatedly be defeated. In college and in my early professional life everything in terms of socializing was around beer. I guess I keep trying to convince myself I can be a normal drinker because I really wish I could be. I am daunted by the lifestyle changes I will have to make and it seems overwhelming. I am worried about what people will think, and how will ever find someone to date sober, etc. I know this is a lot, I just wanted to share my story and I look forward to speaking with more of you.

Thanks for listening!

chris3456 is offline  
Old 05-19-2016, 06:26 AM
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Join Date: May 2016
Location: Northeast WI
Posts: 163
Welcome, Chris!

I can relate to, wishing you could be a "normal" drinker. I used to be. Could have one or two, then move on to something else and be done. I can't do that anymore, once I get started, I pretty much don't stop until I run out. I am on day 7 today only, so I don't have a ton of advice, but this site is full of help and knowledge. Hope you stick around.
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Old 05-19-2016, 06:30 AM
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Join Date: May 2016
Location: Florida
Posts: 4
I've always been the type of drinker who cannot stop once I start. I used to just drink wine after work, now until I decided to stop a few days ago it was a vodka tall with a side car of some sort of shot. Usually ending up with blacking out or passing out. I don't want to go through life that way anymore. I see now, that my habits are not those of "normal" drinkers and I wouldn't be on this site if I wasn't scared to death of the harm I'm doing to myself.
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Old 05-19-2016, 06:34 AM
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Location: SF Bay area, CA
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Welcome to the family. In order to stop drinking, you must want to be sober more than you want to drink. Not easy, but simple.
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Old 05-19-2016, 06:41 AM
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Join Date: May 2016
Location: Oak Creek, WI
Posts: 517
I was once a weekend binger, and an occasional social drinker during the week. Then I started drinking vodka, and it became an all night after work drunk until I passed out, and all day and night on the weekends. Then when I started working from home-- well, who would know if I had a drink while "at work"? Day drinking turned in to day drink-- pass out. Wake up. Drink some more. The bottle was controlling my life--- if I ran errands during the day, the first thing I would check is how much vodka I had and how far was it going to get me?

I guess deep down I knew that this behavior wasn't "normal". It wasn't until I hit rock bottom that I realized I had a significant problem and had to deal with it. I tried the moderation drinking-- only on the weekends, etc. but then the cycle started all over again.

8 days ago, I decided enough was enough and I needed to get my LIFE back. So, here I am. Every day is a new day, and I have learned to take one day at a time. ( which doesn't come easy for me.)
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Old 05-19-2016, 08:48 AM
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Welcome Chris nice to meet you
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Old 05-19-2016, 08:59 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Hi Chris, you are very smart to try and get a grip on this. There are people on this forum that will encourage and help you tremendously. I hope you stick around.

It doesn't matter your drinking habits, if its a problem, it needs to be fixed. My issue was actually in reverse, daily drinker, to 3-4 days per week to 2 days a week, and it still got worse.
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Old 05-19-2016, 09:16 AM
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Hi Chris, good to meet you.

It is possible to get sober amongst a family of drinkers. My Dad drank, both my brothers and my sister drink, and my husband drinks. What proportion of them are alcoholic I don't know, and I've given up thinking about it now.

I knew I had a drinking problem in my 20s too, but I didn't do anything about it, for much the same reasons you stated. I was worried about lifestyle changes and what people would think of me. So, I carried on drinking for another 20 years...until things got much much worse.

I did lots of things I now regret in those years, wasted time, hurt people, wasn't the Mum I needed to be for my kids.

And now, I'm sober and life is starting to be beautiful. I love waking without shame or regret. I love making decisions based on reality and not the fantasy life I was living before.

I would love to be able to turn back the clock but I cant.

What a wonderful opportunity you have to shape the life you want right now.

Stick around, there's a heap of experience and good advice here. Welcome.
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Old 05-19-2016, 03:31 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,720
Hi Chris

Good for you for identifying a problem and wanting to do something about it.

I didn't want to change my life, either, but I'm glad I did - it's the best thing I've ever done

You'll find a lot of support here

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