No Complacency Weekender May 20th
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Complacency is a killer. Each day of recovery, for me, is no different than the last or the next. That doesn't mean its 'work' per se. But that acceptance and surrender to the fact that I can never drink again, am always an addict, has to remain as strong as it is now...at only 16 days (I think that's right, might be 15).
I have made the mistake in the past of thinking that I was gaining the upper hand over my addiction. I'm not. I'm simply gaining the upper hand over me.
Thanks for the cool thread.
I have made the mistake in the past of thinking that I was gaining the upper hand over my addiction. I'm not. I'm simply gaining the upper hand over me.
Thanks for the cool thread.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Originally Posted by Delilah1 
Made the first page! This is what happens when I am awoken by a large sound in the middle of the night. Somehow the kids karaoke machine started playing in the garage. As a fan of shows such as Criminal Minds I am awaiting the Boogey Man to jump out of the shadows.
I'm in for the weekend!
I'm in for the weekend!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,129
Good morning, all!
I'm in!
Good topic, Weas! I'm still struggling with who I am in sobriety, what do I do in sobriety?
I went overboard on AA and now I haven't gone at all in a couple weeks. I feel weird but I also got judged pretty harshly by some of my AA buddies. They are acting as if I'm delusional and about to relapse. They told me that, so it's not just me exaggerating, lol. It doesn't make me really want to return for the short term future.
Everything has a season, everything looks for its balance. I don't need to stress over this. I don't need to measure the worth of my sobriety by what someone else thinks of it. There are a lot of successful paths to sobriety. And it's a personal journey.
Am I sober? Yes. Am I rationalizing a drink, craving a drink, entertaining the thought of one quick bender? Most assuredly, no.
I just want to stop thinking about alcoholism so much for a minute. Let me do some other things. I know that being able to enjoy veggie gardening, taking care of my bees, having lunches with friends, taking care of my house, getting job offers... All the things I have going on can only be executed and enjoyed in sobriety.
Let me enjoy sobriety, not think about alcoholism. Just for a minute. Bc it became exhausting and depressing. And oppressive.
Let my mind be like this Midwest spring that's struggling to happen, let me enjoy the few nice days we've had and smell the fresh earth. Let the sunshine overtake the rain. I appreciate the rain, but I want to feel warmth and growth.
Xoxo
I'm in!
Good topic, Weas! I'm still struggling with who I am in sobriety, what do I do in sobriety?
I went overboard on AA and now I haven't gone at all in a couple weeks. I feel weird but I also got judged pretty harshly by some of my AA buddies. They are acting as if I'm delusional and about to relapse. They told me that, so it's not just me exaggerating, lol. It doesn't make me really want to return for the short term future.
Everything has a season, everything looks for its balance. I don't need to stress over this. I don't need to measure the worth of my sobriety by what someone else thinks of it. There are a lot of successful paths to sobriety. And it's a personal journey.
Am I sober? Yes. Am I rationalizing a drink, craving a drink, entertaining the thought of one quick bender? Most assuredly, no.
I just want to stop thinking about alcoholism so much for a minute. Let me do some other things. I know that being able to enjoy veggie gardening, taking care of my bees, having lunches with friends, taking care of my house, getting job offers... All the things I have going on can only be executed and enjoyed in sobriety.
Let me enjoy sobriety, not think about alcoholism. Just for a minute. Bc it became exhausting and depressing. And oppressive.
Let my mind be like this Midwest spring that's struggling to happen, let me enjoy the few nice days we've had and smell the fresh earth. Let the sunshine overtake the rain. I appreciate the rain, but I want to feel warmth and growth.
Xoxo
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
they'll drive you to drink
I was thinking of you this morning Melina - no I was already dressed
I was watering in my garden and I thought of you with overturned pots so you knew what was what. I also noticed in that pic you had a little notebook in your hand. hmmmmmm ... why not make a little sketch or diagram on a slice of note paper... it's much easier to keep track of things and also keep little notes on what you do periodically...
complacency? having spent time reading the newcomers forum and seeing far too many relapse, even after some years, was enough to reinforce this as a lifetime commitment. I don't even consider having another drink - ever.
But it doesn't hurt to stay close here to be reminded that it is not all that difficult to go back to square one.
I was thinking of you this morning Melina - no I was already dressed
I was watering in my garden and I thought of you with overturned pots so you knew what was what. I also noticed in that pic you had a little notebook in your hand. hmmmmmm ... why not make a little sketch or diagram on a slice of note paper... it's much easier to keep track of things and also keep little notes on what you do periodically...
complacency? having spent time reading the newcomers forum and seeing far too many relapse, even after some years, was enough to reinforce this as a lifetime commitment. I don't even consider having another drink - ever.
But it doesn't hurt to stay close here to be reminded that it is not all that difficult to go back to square one.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,129
Thanks for thinking of me, Brain!
Xoxo
I will head to the garden today if it's sunny out later. Or at least not raining. I'll make a little diagram of what's what. The labels wash off the little plastic pots at some point every year and I forget what tomatoes are what, so you'd think I would have learned by now to jot it down somewhere it doesn't rain...... Hahaha baby steps!
Have a great day, buddy!
Xoxo
I will head to the garden today if it's sunny out later. Or at least not raining. I'll make a little diagram of what's what. The labels wash off the little plastic pots at some point every year and I forget what tomatoes are what, so you'd think I would have learned by now to jot it down somewhere it doesn't rain...... Hahaha baby steps!
Have a great day, buddy!
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Welcome everyone!!!!! You each being here means so much. A real show of solidarity. No one left behind. No heads in the sand. No shame on our faces or in our hearts.
Sober on!
Sober on!
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