thomas11

I am down in the dumps, bad. I have passed on two job offers because I was asked to not take a position until I had an opportunity to talk with this one guy. He is a manager at a fast growing manufacturing company in my area. I finally had the interview yesterday. One hour turned into two and half hours. I thought it went well. Now, he told me over the phone not to take a job until we talked, he said once hired I would not leave the company its so great. Yesterday, he said "I really like you".

I followed up via email at the end of the day. The job requires travel and we talked a bit about what hassle travel is, and I agreed. He responded saying that "since travel is not on your wish list, I've passed your information on to other managers and will keep you in mind, good luck."

Needless to say, I'm not happy. I left him a voicemail this morning and apologized for the misunderstanding and that I am absolutely fine with traveling. Haven't heard back. Damn I'm bummed out and a little mad. You don't say those things to a potential hire, and then wish them luck.

ScottFromWI

Keep in mind that it's just one interview...there will be more and you will find something. Being a business owner yourself you should know very well that there are always opportunities out there. And you should also know that sometimes people say things they don't realize will be interpreted a certain way.

Be patient...you'll find the right job when the time is right.

Nowsthetime

Hello!

Grrrrr! I would be upset too.

I'm sorry things went down this way. Can you call back the people with the other offers?

If not, other opportunities will come along so keep your eye on the prize.

But yeah, really annoying.

Gonnachange

Your frustration is justified. Your attempt to contact the interviewer and explain your meaning was the right thing to do; hopefully he will take the new information into consideration.

ccam1973

Sorry about that outcome Jeff. I've made that exact mistake before. Somehow the owner of the company I was interviewing with misconstrued my comment of "I don't like to travel" into " I absolutely won't travel for work, not now, not ever".

Have faith in yourself Jeff. You've accomplished a lot throughout the years. Maybe this just wasn't meant to be.

I know you're down now, but you'll come out on top. Keep grinding and stay sober. The rest will fall into place.

We're all pulling for you.

thomas11

Thanks guys. Really glad I don't deal with things by drinking anymore. Still f'ing depressed though. I'm not feeling "poor me". It's more that you don't play with people's livelihoods like that.

I would also like to sit the guy down and explain to him that when you spend 2+ hours interviewing a candidate, at least 50% of that time you should at least try to learn something about the person you are interviewing as opposed to talking about yourself the whole time. If you end up hiring the guy, he'll get to know you plenty.

madgirl

Well if that guy is like that (full of himself) - would you have wanted to work with him/for him/closely with him over time?

Anna

Jeff, I'm sorry your comment about travel was taken that way. But, the right job will come along and I know you'll find something you love.

AdelineRose

Urgh I can understand why you are frustrated, I think anyone would feeling a whole host of feelings at what has happened. It is crazy how one little phrase can seem to throw things off. I know it is easier to say this then to be the one experiencing it but in my own personal experience and those close to me, whenever we felt like everything was going wrong or that we felt something should have gone through that didn't end up working out we have found that in the long run something better ended up coming up and we ended up grateful in the end how things worked out. I know it is much easier then to tell someone that bit of info then to be the one experiencing it, but please try to keep your spirits up.

In the meantime, are you able to call back the other job opportunities and see if the offer's are still on the table? I am socked that the manager that you were interviewing with would make a comment such as "Don't take any other offers until we talk" that is implying a lot and like you said, playing with someone's life when they make the interview twice as long, make comments like "I like you", say "don't take any other offers until we talk" etc. etc. That wasn't responsible on his part- since as we all know, we don't live in a world where guarantees are given much if at all.

I am glad you aren't drinking and that you are handling this stress and disappointment in a healthy manner. Keep moving forward and I am sure something will work out!

entropy1964

I was just thinking about you because I hadn't seen a post from you in a bit (ha! it was probably a day...but we're talking sober hours...they're longer for me right now).

Well what an azz.....a little bate and switch. Geez. Maybe you're dodging a bullet there?

It'll work out for sure. Hang in there.

ScottFromWI

Would that really help you though ( teling him off )? There's people like that in all walks of life and as much as we'd like to give them a piece of our mind, resentments only hurt us.

I think it's a pretty good indication that you probably are better off not working for him anyway, wouldn't you say?

thomas11

I agree Scott. If I recall you are in a senior position correct? So you probably have a pretty good vantage point to all of this stuff.

But since my brain won't shut off today, I'm going to keep this thread alive with my thoughts.

Being patient is not my strong suit, so after I read that email, I went online, applied for 4 positions, called 3 senior VP's I know, 2 business owners I know, and an old customer who is in charge of " International Asset Protection" for a global corporation here in MN. He heads a department that's straight out of a movie, he keeps their executives alive when they travel.

I was hoping not to bug these people, but now I've got my resume to all of them and I'll hope for the best.

ScottFromWI

Sounds like some productive time for sure, I hope those folks can help.

Hidden in all this though is the fact that you are still having issues dealing with stress in a healthy way, would you not agree? It's as if your actions today were to spite this other person - and while they were productive in that you got your resume out there, is it healthy? You are going to find a job eventually, you clearly have the skills and the connections to do so.

But my point is....you used to use alcohol to try and calm your mind, which didn't work of course. And now you are using frustrations/anger/spite ( in today's actions ) to try and blow off steam. There are lots of healthier ways to deal with stress like this...meditation, therapy, mindfulness, exercise, etc. You'll need to find a balance of those things along with a sober plan eventually otherwise you'll tear yourself up inside, right?

Dee74

I have faith things will work out as they're meant to Jeff - they always do

D

thomas11

Can't argue with that Scott, you are correct. I need to find a method to release energy that is built up. I should note that my bark is worse than my bite. I make a lot of noise, but I rarely take action like lashing out at people. That tends to burn bridges which is fatal.

My wife came home tonight and pulled me in the other room and told me she was proud of me (I emailed her this morning how disappointed I was) and she was very worried she'd come home and find me drunk. A year ago, she would have.

Soberwolf

No one has said this so il share a lil something I know

That interviewer basically wanted to know your true thoughts about travelling and working and what a hassle it is and he found out

I've been turned down jobs because they are too far away but I always say yep no bother tell me the start time

if it ever happens again just say traveling isnt a problem remember interviewers will do stuff like this & being prepared improves your chances

another one they might try is working weekends suck right ? NO ! weekends are awesome

Nights ? I work just as good at night as I do during the day

watch out for obvious trapdoors Jeff and let this be a learning curve in interview techniques

I already know your going to do well your honest

MissPerfumado

So glad you didn't drink over it - well done. It may be true as has been suggested that the guy was testing you out subtly, but my take is what kind of a way to do business is that? A well-run business treats its people with respect and a good indicator of whether it does that is how it interviews candidates for positions. I'd call about the other positions you passed on - you never know your luck. And well done on getting going on the other contacts. Something right is going to come up, for sure.

thomas11

Update: I had time to reflect on a couple things, it makes me sad that my wife told me how proud she was that she didn't come home and find me drunk. If I thought my life was bad, how bad must hers have been with me drinking as a reaction to everything. If you have a partner you love, take good care of them. They deserve ALL of you.

Job thing: Done, moved on. I'm smart enough to remain open minded about a 2nd interview if it comes up. Continuing to move forward towards employment.

hpdw

Happy for you that you have moved on mentally with the job part ( as I was reading from your first post my thoughts were " everything happens for a reason ") it is very helpful for me and i'm sure others the way you explain about your wife .

Good luck

thomas11

Have to get this off my chest, and if you're still following this thread, bless you.

In the interview I had on Tuesday I had the opportunity to meet the Executive Vice President of Operations at this facility. When we shook hands and our eyes met, he looked at me very oddly, like he knew me and didn't know from where. I think we've all experienced that. I just couldn't shake it, I knew he was looking at me strange and for a longer time than normal, and I was trying to figure out who he was or where I might have seen him. And let's face it, he's the big boss so it bothered me.

I think I found my answer (pretty resourceful when I have to be), we live in the same town, and him and his wife went to college at the same time I was there. Please don't take this as bragging but I was an unusual student. I was on the verge of becoming a professional bodybuilder when I was there. I had quite a bit of exposure locally and nationally (print media) and was on ESPN, in some silly commercials etc... . When I would go out to the bars, many people would recognize me, and sometimes they couldn't help but recognize me because I was a wild man (not violent, just dance on the bars, take over the DJ booth, jump behind the bar and start bartending, etc..), And, I was allowed to, because of "who" I was. So this could work for or against me. Just not sure.

If it was just one or two years later and he recognized me, I know for a fact my resume would have gone straight to the paper shredder!