SarahBear

Is this normal? I had my last drink April 22, 2016. Since then, my sex drive has gone way up. What sucks is I don't have a SO right at the moment. Well, I'm currently dating someone but hasn't reached to that point yet

soberaccountant

I've read in the past that alcohol can have a negative impact on a persons sex drive. It affects everyone differently I guess.

I don't know your habits or personality, but is it possible that you are trading one addiction for another? Did you have a sexual addiction prior to discovering drinking?

You don't have to answer these to me, but it may be something to think about.

Leonidas

Hi!

Dee74

It affects people different ways - some people get a boost and others have no drive at all.

I expect it will settle down to 'normal' - whatever that is for you - in time

Timeforchange18

Be thankful. I'm married and my wife has no sex drive. No wonder I drank.

MIRecovery

As my sponsor says, "In the first year you can have as much sex as you want so long as it is not with another person."

Jsbodhi

Haha

whopper

I found it to be the opposite. Drinking makes me more frisky.

entropy1964

Bonus!

Berrybean

I'd just offer a word of caution. For some of us, sex (thrill of the chase and the act itself) can be just another addictive behaviour. Seeking out ways to blot out problems and negative thoughts. If you are one of those people then things can quickly spiral out of control and result in us behaving in ways that cause us shame and anxiety after the event.

You may well not be one of those people. I hope for your sake you aren't. But if you feel you might be, then you might want to get support for that in the same way as for getting sober.

And before people chime in with the 'sex is just a healthy outlet / don't moralise / etc. ' What I'm talking about it when that drive actually begins to take people past that healthy and loving and affectionate stage. The stage where people start to use others as an outlet, or a means to an end with little or no regard for the person they are with, or who else might get hurt for the sake of the latest thrill. Just as resentment is a dubious luxury for the recovering alcoholic, selfish relationships can be as damaging to the quality of our sobriety. And if the quality of sobriety goes, then sobriety itself can be at risk.

I don't believe that its for no reason that one of the inventory lists that cause most addicts anxiety to complete is the sex / relationship inventory.

Meraviglioso

First, Beccy??? Did you change your user name or have I been wrong ALL ALONG??

HI Sarah, Our bodies react in different ways to different things. If it concerns you you can speak to your doctor. They may be able to help. Otherwise masturbation is a healthy, safe and pleasurable way to take care of things.

Coldfusion

There is a condition known as "Restless Genital Syndrome" that can be diagnosed by a doctor.

Meraviglioso

Thank you Coldfusion! I just googled that and it is a personal answer for me. When I was expecting my first son I suffered desperately from this but had no idea it was an actual syndrome. As is common with sexual disorders I didn't know how to bring it up. People usually say "lucky you" but it was much much beyond that. It was obviously linked in the change in hormones as it went away after I gave birth.
Sorry to derail the original thread, but I hope the open and mature discussion will lead the OP to seek help if things are causing issues.

tufty13

Man, that made me laugh out loud. Thank you!

advbike

Lol, my thought too! I've been sitting here rubbing my eyes, wondering if something is blurry, or was before.. Hahaha..

advbike

As far as sex drive, mine went up after I quit, and I'm an older guy. Alcohol is a depressant after all, especially long term. But the bigger concern is what others have mentioned - making relationship decisions in that first year, especially if you're not in a program of recovery.

I got involved with a younger woman after about 8 months and it became a real emotional roller coaster. The sex was amazing, but other aspects of the relationship were difficult.

I didn't drink but it led to the realization of how messed up my relationship skills are, and how drinking was my coping mechanism for years, in dealing with frustration and disappointment with relationships. I eventually got back into AA meetings and working the steps, just to find peace of mind, for that as well as my overactive ego.

The bottom line is your sobriety has to take priority.

SarahBear

Prior to drinking, I spent a lot of time on the Internet and went shopping way more often.

Never heard of it.

BlissWithin

Just a word of advice: I had a couple of months sober and then returned to drinking because of a failed relationship. So always put your recovery first.

Berrybean

Yes, mods altered it for me. Well spotted Meraviglioso. I wanted you guys to recognise me as the old BB, but nit be so easily traceable by others. So shhhhh. As they said on The Fast Show... You ain't seen me...roit. Lol

skywalker91

this was very helpful & relatable thank you! While getting clean from Meth...my sex drive has been all over the place...I have been told by many in crystal recovery and from my own experience that sex is usually the number one thing that causes relapse specifically in the gay community of meth users....so I def understand where you are coming from with the sex drive issues...It's so tough! keeping that adrenaline up in other ways, masturbation, staying busy all are good things to do to get through it