endlesspatience

It's a week since my last drink. I talked about it at AA tonight and of course I came out of the meeting feeling a range of emotions: shame, relief, frustration, exhaustion..... loads of things.

Sometimes when I got into an emotionally complicated place after an AA meeting I'd drink on the way home. Thing is, I have a commitment at AA tomorrow to make the tea and serve the biscuits so I absolutely don't want to let everyone else down again. Anyway, they are all really nice to me and non-judgemental.

And at least today I did my work OK, sorted out my household bills and remembered to buy my wife a birthday card. If I'd got drunk again none of that would have happened, I don't think.

FLCamper

I hope you are proud of yourself for a week without alcohol.
You're not the first person to drink after an AA meeting. I've seen someone drink at an AA meeting - it was outside in a park.
Sounds like you're on the right path, now. Keep it up!

nova84

Congratulations endlesspatience on week one 👍it is great that you have identified important achievements from your day (bills and birthday card as well as sobriety) wishing you well on the rest of your recovery xxx

least

It will get better the longer you stay sober.

entropy1964

It's a strange irony that alcohilics are at times triggered by AA. I have been there. I have found that I need to take my time with respect to sharing.....I know, the opposite of what I'm encouraged to do. "Get into action, get a sponsor....go go go". For me that doesn't work. I have anxiety (like who here doesn't?) and ptsd and I simply have a very hard time trusting. A very hard time. If I feel exposed, I can freak out. Anyway, be easy on yourself. Sometimes just being in a meeting and listening is ok too. So glad you didn't drink.

Ps wish we had tea and biscuits at our meetings. We had bitter coffee (which I made....I'm banned from making coffee) and red vines.

endlesspatience

Oh Frickafrip - what a shame you can't come to my meeting! No bitter coffee, very nice tea with fresh milk and biscuits which is all very English, even though people from many different countries enjoy the meetings in London.

I am glad I didn't drink on my way home from the meeting because it means no hangover tomorrow and that's a big bonus on my wife's birthday.

tomsteve

endless, the only one you should be concerned with letting down it you.

i didnt know if i was comin or goin for quite some time, but i kept going back,kept reading the bb, and kept workin the program.
eventually it all started makin sense- one lightbulb moment at a time.

frankster

Me too. I've found listening is much more beneficial for me right now. About the only thing I have to say is how happy I am today that I'm not hungover, thank you AA, thank you SR people.

endlesspatience

Thanks for all this. I think the message here is try to listen more at meetings.