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5 months sober

Old 05-16-2016, 07:46 AM
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5 months sober

First time post and just after a few peoples opinions or experiences.

I have been sober since the start of the year after being in hospital for 3 weeks with liver and kidney issues which turned out to be alcoholic hepatitis due the amount I was consuming, and overtime came to a head, giving me the wake up call I needed. The damage done to my liver is not irreversible but bad to the extent it could take some considerable time to repair it's self and is unlikely to ever return to a 100% perfect state. On advice of my doctor he recommended to avoid alcohol all together, and taking my addiction into account, I more than agreed with him.

After I came out of hospital I was still pretty tender and even small tasks like walking up stairs would totally exhaust me, the thought of having a drink was not really at the front of my mind although the thought was always there. Fast forward 5 months to today I'm still sober but as each day passes now I have noticed the thought of having that drink getting bigger and much more frequent, I feel in control but I'm getting concerned by this thought becoming alot more common. I've been to a fair few meetings and although they do help to an extent there not really for me.

I think I'm just after a bit of support really and just to see my words written down rather hearing than hearing them out loud, so I apologise for the length of my post.

Any replies much appreciated,

J
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Old 05-16-2016, 08:17 AM
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Hi James,

What helped me today is to get outside of my own head and how I feel about things, and look at a few externals to gauge where my life is at. At just shy of 60 days, I have cravings at some point every day, but when I wrote down some of the good things which have transpired as a result of being sober, I realize how fantastic it actually IS to be in my right mind.

What are the good things, externally, which have happened because of your five months? Are some of your relationships better/more peaceful? Have you enjoyed waking up without a hangover? What about your health - obviously your liver is grateful beyond belief at the change?

Write some of those good things down, tell us about them.
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Old 05-16-2016, 08:29 AM
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Originally Posted by madgirl View Post
Hi James,

What helped me today is to get outside of my own head and how I feel about things, and look at a few externals to gauge where my life is at. At just shy of 60 days, I have cravings at some point every day, but when I wrote down some of the good things which have transpired as a result of being sober, I realize how fantastic it actually IS to be in my right mind.

What are the good things, externally, which have happened because of your five months? Are some of your relationships better/more peaceful? Have you enjoyed waking up without a hangover? What about your health - obviously your liver is grateful beyond belief at the change?

Write some of those good things down, tell us about them.

I'm definitely a lot more chatty in general, and a lot more open in what I share with people. Oh yes, I don't miss the sweaty, shaky withdrawal of hangovers and never want to experience one again. My health in general is much better but still a way to go considering how ill I was.

I think it's more the nostalgia that I'm finding difficult at the moment, seeing the sun shining and thinking of old times sitting in the pub garden all day with mates, and it gets me tempted for those few seconds.
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Old 05-16-2016, 08:54 AM
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You can make it through.

My last real period of romanticizing drinking was at six months of sobriety. It seems common in recovery to have stronger periods of desire return around significant milestones, and six months is a big one.

Stay the course. Nothing good would come of a day on the patio with a beer or a cocktail. (Or 15 cocktails, because, really.)

The romance of summertime can bring this on - but play the tape through all the way through the drinking, the hangover, the remorse, the illness, the fear that you could really damage yourself, the possibility of arrest or accident.

Onward. Have some iced tea and wings on the patio. You'll never wake up wishing you had had that pint and a shot, I promise.
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Old 05-16-2016, 09:13 AM
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Originally Posted by biminiblue View Post
You can make it through.

My last real period of romanticizing drinking was at six months of sobriety. It seems common in recovery to have stronger periods of desire return around significant milestones, and six months is a big one.

Stay the course. Nothing good would come of a day on the patio with a beer or a cocktail. (Or 15 cocktails, because, really.)

The romance of summertime can bring this on - but play the tape through all the way through the drinking, the hangover, the remorse, the illness, the fear that you could really damage yourself, the possibility of arrest or accident.

Onward. Have some iced tea and wings on the patio. You'll never wake up wishing you had had that pint and a shot, I promise.
I agree with the summer romance point you said. During the winter months I didn't notice it so much as I was still fairly ill and not really connected with the outside world as such. But now i'm out and about more than I was, my brain/ body seems to no it's summer again and that means drinking all hours God sends. I think really for the first time in 5 months I've had to understand that isn't going to happen anymore, as much as I want it to.
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Old 05-16-2016, 09:16 AM
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You can make it through this, just the fact that you decided that hey maybe I should do something about these thoughts before they get too strong and all consuming shows that you have the ability to stay sober!

Keeping a list of all my reasons to stay sober has been helpful for me. I also found counseling with a substance abuse counselor has helped me keep things in perspective, keep myself in check, and helped provide me with tools to beat my cravings.

If nothing else, reminding yourself that your liver is still not healed and drinking now will put you back to square one or maybe make it even worse then it was before. Sometimes we need a concrete reason to push us through the hard moments, and health reasons can be a good little push to keep on us on track.
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Old 05-16-2016, 09:30 AM
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Originally Posted by James90 View Post
I agree with the summer romance point you said. During the winter months I didn't notice it so much as I was still fairly ill and not really connected with the outside world as such. But now i'm out and about more than I was, my brain/ body seems to no it's summer again and that means drinking all hours God sends. I think really for the first time in 5 months I've had to understand that isn't going to happen anymore, as much as I want it to.
This, "as much as I want it to." (?)

Do you? Because if I thought this way, it would be a very short time before I actually drank.

Thinking about drinking and wanting to are separate things in my world. I think about it because it was something I did for years. I don't want to do it though. I want to have my health and I want to have my sanity and I want to go to bed sober every night on clean sheets with a tummy full of good food and morning coffee to look forward to. I want the anxiety-free life with total relaxation and clear conscience that I enjoy now.

That one hour of buzz is not worth the 23 hours of misery in my life. It took me nearly a year to feel "well" and there is no way I can afford to go back.

If the only reason I didn't drink was because my liver was messed up and I was hospitalized because of it, that would be more than enough reason to keep me away from it. You do realize it can/will kill you, right?
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Old 05-16-2016, 10:12 AM
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I had 7 months sober till January and got tempted to go back, I wish I'd never.
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Old 05-16-2016, 10:17 AM
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Maybe you're lonely. You say you miss hanging out in the pub with your mates.

Remember H.A.L.T - hungry, angry, lonely, tired. Maybe it isn't being drunk and sick you miss, but the social interaction.

Is there a friend or family member you could call?

As far as spring/summer goes, I have to be honest - I am enjoying the weather FAR MORE in sobriety because I actually go OUTSIDE more. Think about how many days you probably actually spent INSIDE, nursing a hangover or worse, after one day spent in the pub garden.
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Old 05-16-2016, 10:37 AM
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I think I probably worded my last post wrongly with " as much as I want it to". Of course I don't "want" to drink because if I did start again, id be straight back into hospital. I think you're spot on with missing the social aspect of things as many of my hobbies involved alcohol directly or indirectly. Like I said I think it's the first time this change on my life has actually hit me properly, regarding social activities, and due to me being in hospital and laid up for so long. I dont think I realised until now how much of a change it was going to be.
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Old 05-16-2016, 11:56 AM
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Congrats James 5 months is really good
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Old 05-16-2016, 01:56 PM
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Welcome James. 5 months is awesome.
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Old 05-16-2016, 02:03 PM
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Congratulations on five months, James. You'll find a lot of support here to help you build your sobriety and recovery.
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Old 05-16-2016, 02:29 PM
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Hey James! I reckon that if you've got to 5 months you must have got the hang of this! Stay strong and when the wishful thinking comes along remind yourself of the mess it got you into last time!!!
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