Let's try this again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: South east
Posts: 194
Let's try this again.
Hey, I'm, Nick. I've been struggling with alcohol off and on since 2008. I went three years of daily drinking and stopped cold turkey in 2012. I went through the most horrific withdrawal I've ever been through. DT's and all. I had hallucinations for 3 straight days and was finally committed into a mental ward. From that day out until August of 2014, I did not drink. Then I relapsed. Slowly but surely it crept back into my life like a demon-which it is.
This past year has been full of heavy drinking. I went through it all. Wrecked my car, got a DUI, went to jail, lost NUMEROUS jobs, handled every hard situation with alcohol - which just made things a whole lot worse. I've managed to hold down a job for 9 months, but recently got suspended for a week for drunkenly going off the handle with on my boss. That sent me into a week long binge.
On top of all of this I am addicted to Klonopin. I've been on it since October of 2013. I've tried many tapers with it and have almost gotten off of it at one point, but something bad happened and I was right back on it. I try not to take my medication while drinking and for the most part, I'm pretty successful at doing this. However, while I taper off this medication it drives my brain to want to drink. It's all very tricky.
Today I want to quit drinking and start a taper off the Klonopin again. In June, I'm taking 9 weeks off from my job to travel the country and try to get myself better again. Hopefully I can make it to June without getting fired and they have promised me my job back when I return.
I have a really hard time staying sober for more than 11 days. I know own that sounds weird, but I seem to always relapse on day 11.
So here goes nothing ..again. Wish me luck.
-Nick
This past year has been full of heavy drinking. I went through it all. Wrecked my car, got a DUI, went to jail, lost NUMEROUS jobs, handled every hard situation with alcohol - which just made things a whole lot worse. I've managed to hold down a job for 9 months, but recently got suspended for a week for drunkenly going off the handle with on my boss. That sent me into a week long binge.
On top of all of this I am addicted to Klonopin. I've been on it since October of 2013. I've tried many tapers with it and have almost gotten off of it at one point, but something bad happened and I was right back on it. I try not to take my medication while drinking and for the most part, I'm pretty successful at doing this. However, while I taper off this medication it drives my brain to want to drink. It's all very tricky.
Today I want to quit drinking and start a taper off the Klonopin again. In June, I'm taking 9 weeks off from my job to travel the country and try to get myself better again. Hopefully I can make it to June without getting fired and they have promised me my job back when I return.
I have a really hard time staying sober for more than 11 days. I know own that sounds weird, but I seem to always relapse on day 11.
So here goes nothing ..again. Wish me luck.
-Nick
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Welcome Pajan. I relate very well to your story.
My brother is addicted to Klonopin. My experience has been its one of the toughest benzos for sure. Is your dr. helping you with the taper?
Quitting both booze and benzos is tough but you can do it...if you're willing to go to any lengths.
I'm on day 12....each day, staying sober, the means for doing so, is exactly the same as the day before. Its one day at a time. A daily commitment to not drinking or drugging no matter what.
Glad you're here.
My brother is addicted to Klonopin. My experience has been its one of the toughest benzos for sure. Is your dr. helping you with the taper?
Quitting both booze and benzos is tough but you can do it...if you're willing to go to any lengths.
I'm on day 12....each day, staying sober, the means for doing so, is exactly the same as the day before. Its one day at a time. A daily commitment to not drinking or drugging no matter what.
Glad you're here.
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 6
Hi Nick, if you've been to hell and lived to survive it, yes you can do 11 days. Please message me if you need strength cause I need the strength too. I am only at my 2nd day without beer and god knows I want to do 11 days, 30 days, and more...I want to get back to the way I used to be before alcohol even became a passing thought! Please come back every day before you think of drinking. because you need to give me courage. Karleen
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Welcome Nick 
You'll find a lot of support here and good ideas. If day 11 is your bugbear why not start thinking about a plan to stay sober now?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
D
You'll find a lot of support here and good ideas. If day 11 is your bugbear why not start thinking about a plan to stay sober now?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 228
Welcome, Nick!
You are lucky to have those 9 weeks off (and your work hasn't fired you).
It's time to get back on track!
Do you think travelling the country is the best option for you during those weeks off?
If I was travelling the country, in my excitement, i'd probably want to enjoy a drink or two. Not the best option for me, but everyone is different.
Best of luck!!
You are lucky to have those 9 weeks off (and your work hasn't fired you).
It's time to get back on track!
Do you think travelling the country is the best option for you during those weeks off?
If I was travelling the country, in my excitement, i'd probably want to enjoy a drink or two. Not the best option for me, but everyone is different.
Best of luck!!
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 414
Hi Nick - I understand very, very well what you are going through. I'm staying sober one day at a time from the horrid booze and klonopin too. Just know it does get better. What is working for me is coming here, talking to others on the phone (I live out in the middle of the woods in Maine and lost my license a year ago), practicing mindfulness, eating very healthy, yoga and a simple part time job close to home. If this over 30 years of booze and 27 years of benzo's 60 year old woman can change - you can too! Hang in there. Many blessings.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Glad to meet you, Nick. I never imagined my life without alcohol - but here I am, over 8 yrs. sober after a lifetime of drinking. You can leave that misery behind - we know you can. Good to have you with us.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: South east
Posts: 194
Thank you everyone for your responses. I made it through day 1, so I feel that is a great accomplishment. I'm 2 thrids way through day two. I have more than normal anxiety, but I feel that's more from my medication than alcohol and it's not really unmanageable. I've been taking the same amount, but I am am going to cut back .5mgs of, Klonopin today, and that always takes up to a week to stabilize from. Also I just don't feel "human" from alcohol until around the fourth day.
I feel like I have a different and more positive attitude about managing these situations promptly. I've just been keeping really busy. Trying to stay out of my house. Eat so much food and drink so much water that I feel as if I could explode! I need to get on a better diet starting tomorrow. That helps out a lot with withdrawal as well.
I do start work tomorrow again after a 8 day suspension. It makes me extremely anxious when I go back to work after not being there for so long. I don't know. It's weird. I'm looking forward to it, cause it keeps me busy, but I'm, we'll, just embarrassed, frankly.
I will try and check in as often as I can. I find this forum to be a great tool.
-Nick
I feel like I have a different and more positive attitude about managing these situations promptly. I've just been keeping really busy. Trying to stay out of my house. Eat so much food and drink so much water that I feel as if I could explode! I need to get on a better diet starting tomorrow. That helps out a lot with withdrawal as well.
I do start work tomorrow again after a 8 day suspension. It makes me extremely anxious when I go back to work after not being there for so long. I don't know. It's weird. I'm looking forward to it, cause it keeps me busy, but I'm, we'll, just embarrassed, frankly.
I will try and check in as often as I can. I find this forum to be a great tool.
-Nick
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: South east
Posts: 194
So I've made it through day 4. That's amazing to me because it's been about two months since I've hit 4 days of sobriety. A small accomplishment.
I feel pretty much normal a little lethargic and depersonalized, but for the most part pretty much stabilize. Stabilized enough that I've cut another. 5mgs of my benzo down
I'm a little nervous about that because I am anxious during work and am not on the greatest terms with my boss right now, but I know the only way to get through this is to stay sober the next twenty days before I start touring the country for three months. They have promised me my job back when I return, but I get so anxious that they won't.
I'm starting to realize more and more each day that I have to live for that day and stop thinking so much about the future outcome of everything. Especially financially. I'm not bad off right now, I just don't like spending money. Again I have to remind myself that financial situations are not important. Money comes and goes, but I'm alive today.
I've been finding it really relaxing to listen to rain sounds while sleeping have made a huge impact on how I sleep. I've been having these really great elucid dreams every night and have been waking up with panic less and less. I've also tried really hard to separate my mental energy and time from Facebook and my Job situation. They are both horrible triggers for me to drink. Just keeping it simple.
I've also found that music has been a huge trigger of mine so I devised a plan. I deleted every song from my phone and added only one album to my library. My plan is to either: Add another album for every 3 days of clean time or download or add back 12 songs that I think I can handle in that moment. To much brain stimulation!
Sorry I'm ranting.
Thanks for listening. Check in soon.
-Nick
I feel pretty much normal a little lethargic and depersonalized, but for the most part pretty much stabilize. Stabilized enough that I've cut another. 5mgs of my benzo down
I'm a little nervous about that because I am anxious during work and am not on the greatest terms with my boss right now, but I know the only way to get through this is to stay sober the next twenty days before I start touring the country for three months. They have promised me my job back when I return, but I get so anxious that they won't.
I'm starting to realize more and more each day that I have to live for that day and stop thinking so much about the future outcome of everything. Especially financially. I'm not bad off right now, I just don't like spending money. Again I have to remind myself that financial situations are not important. Money comes and goes, but I'm alive today.
I've been finding it really relaxing to listen to rain sounds while sleeping have made a huge impact on how I sleep. I've been having these really great elucid dreams every night and have been waking up with panic less and less. I've also tried really hard to separate my mental energy and time from Facebook and my Job situation. They are both horrible triggers for me to drink. Just keeping it simple.
I've also found that music has been a huge trigger of mine so I devised a plan. I deleted every song from my phone and added only one album to my library. My plan is to either: Add another album for every 3 days of clean time or download or add back 12 songs that I think I can handle in that moment. To much brain stimulation!
Sorry I'm ranting.
Thanks for listening. Check in soon.
-Nick
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