gallen37

Hey everyone,

I've been in and out of recovery for awhile, but finally got into outpatient treatment. I've got 100 days or so (I don't really count days too highly).

I've gotten here with outpatient groups and AA. However my outpatient treatment is winding down (done with groups and almost done with counselor).

AA meetings and a temp sponsor have been a great help to me, but I feel that AA is simply not for me long term. I know I can pop in a meeting anytime I need, but I don't think the step work is really for me.

Long story short, I'm looking for longer term plans that don't involve AA. This site has lots of great info, but SOS or Smart meetings just aren't really available in my area. I'm not even that big on the whole in person meeting thing anyway, but I need something to maintain.

Previously I was 4 months sober but fell once I got away from the routine. I really want to avoid that this time. AA has a great structure... how do people find that without AA?

Just wondering what people do as an AA alternative to keep some structure in recovery? My fear is I don't want to go from recovery to "dry" or worse. However I also don't need to dive into a 12 step either.

Thanks for reading,
Craig

RDBplus3

I drank for 40 years, then struggled for a long time trying to 'moderate, then really trying to get Free & Sober. It was face-in-the-asphalt, gut-wrenching, white-knuckling, Pitiful & Incomprehensible Demoralization struggling. I tried a lot of ways and methods to get Sober, including rehabs. The program of AA, and Working the Steps brought about the Miracle of being FREE from it all, and continuing to Work the Steps keeps me FREE & Sober.

That is what worked for Me. This website has many people that didn't need the program of AA to get Sober, and they share that they are staying Sober.

As for the Solution and continuing Freedom that the Steps bring about, and ongoing Sobriety, does that mean a person that gets Sober thru the Program has to spend the rest of their life in Church basements? The book, and the basis for the Program, is this - What we really have is a daily reprieve based on the maintenance of our Spiritual Condition. For anyone that does not need a 'Spiritual Solution', and really can just quit and stay quit based on their 'decision' to do so, then this probably doesn't apply. For me, the 'Spiritual Solution' is the only thing that worked. I couldn't fix myself, and I certainly wouldn't let other people 'fix' me. So, how can the 'Spiritual Condition' be maintained? I suggest continuing to work the Steps, by practicing the Principals in all daily affairs. Do online Step Studies, and do Web searches for Recovery Speaker messages to stay in tune. There can be as many ways to live this Sober Life as there are people living it.

After all - It is for Freedom that God set us FREE.

RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous and FREE

sugarbear1

Those steps saved my life and I don't live in church basements!

tomsteve

if you say aa has great structure, why in the world would you want to go lookin elsewhere?

meetings havent kept me sober and given me a good life.
working the steps the practicing the principles are what have done that.
as with sugarbear i dont live in meetings.
in fact, its been a while since ive been to a meeting.
and been workin for over 11 years now.

tomsteve

[QUOTE=RDBplus3;5952342

As for the Solution and continuing Freedom that the Steps bring about, and ongoing Sobriety, does that mean a person that gets Sober thru the Program has to spend the rest of their life in Church basements? The book, and the basis for the Program, is this - What we really have is a daily reprieve based on the maintenance of our Spiritual Condition. For anyone that does not need a 'Spiritual Solution', and really can just quit and stay quit based on their 'decision' to do so, then this probably doesn't apply. For me, the 'Spiritual Solution' is the only thing that worked. I couldn't fix myself, and I certainly wouldn't let other people 'fix' me. So, how can the 'Spiritual Condition' be maintained? I suggest continuing to work the Steps, by practicing the Principals in all daily affairs. Do online Step Studies, and do Web searches for Recovery Speaker messages to stay in tune. There can be as many ways to live this Sober Life as there are people living it.

After all - It is for Freedom that God set us FREE.

RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous and FREE[/QUOTE]

good stuff,RDB.
i believe one thing MANY people miss in the big book is this:

None of us makes a sole vocation of this work, nor do we think its effectiveness would be increased if we did. We feel that elimination of our drinking is but a beginning. A much more important demonstration of our principles lies before us in our respective homes, occupations and affairs. All of us spend much of our SPARE time in the sort of effort which we are going to describe.

RDBplus3

... as for me ...
I stay very active in AA, support my Home Group, have a few sponsees I work with, and I endeavor to be a person that brings the Solution to meetings. (I also keep it real by sharing my struggles, and how the AA Program works even in the midst of 'Life Struggles').

And no, Sugar Bear, I don't 'Live my Life in Church Basements' either, but I have always got a kick out of that question about AA. LOL

I sincerely hope and pray, gallen37, that you will find your means for maintaining Sobriety and Freedom. I KNOW the AA Program & the 12 Steps work.

RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous and FREE

entropy1964

Great job on 100-ish days!

So if AA is working, the routine, the structure etc, why stop? Why is it not for you? The steps don't need to be some big stressful event. They are just a means to uncover, discover and discard bad thinking etc and start one toward working with other alcoholics/service. I think often too much intensity is put into the steps initially. They don't have to take forever and they don't have to be perfect. Heck you can do them multiple times, as I believe many do. And the service? You do what you can, when you can. Or that's my take. The comment about half measures doesn't to me imply that one has to make AA their life...unless they want to of course

I just ask this because I went through a similar thought process about 10 years ago....thus ensued 10 years of stopping and starting. Getting 3 months 6, months 2 years, 4 months and so on and so on. I'm now back at day 11 and realize that AA worked, why did I thwart it? I believe, for me, it was my addiction saying 'if you keep at this I'm gonna die. This isn't for you. Do it your way." Yeah. That didn't work out. I just wanted to throw that out there.

least

Congrats on 100 days sober! I got sober with the help of my addiction counselor and this site. I no longer see the counselor, but still come here every day to support others and strengthen my sobriety.

A good counselor is worth their weight in gold.

gallen37

Long story short, I'm stuck on the whole spirituality, step2/3 part. I mean really stuck. I've spent the better part of 2 months or so just listening and trying to absorb things. I think of myself as a sponge, just looking for any useful information (and there's lots of it if you open your mind).

My issue is that I am not finding spirituality. I understand everyone is different and of course it doesn't mean church to everyone. Still, I'm just not finding anything there for me.

I am almost feeling a little pressure to start to lie about it a bit to my counselor and sponsor, and that definitely feels wrong. I actually feel a lot of envy for those that have that feeling, but being honest with myself, it isn't there. I did more than my share of lying over the years both to myself and others.

I just feel that while AA is great, it is just too difficult to continue on without something so central to the process. Kind of like putting a piece of furniture together but leaving a huge part in the box.

I guess online alternatives are probably my best bet. I still try to keep an open mind, and maybe over time things will change, but deep down I can't ignore the way I feel.

madgirl

Hi Craig - I am not in AA and in early recovery, so I had to google the 2nd and 3rd steps -

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

Was it clearly expressed to you that you had to believe and own these steps before you could truly recover?

Thanks in advance. I am learning too.

Saskia

Hi Craig,

I did an IOP from August through October 2014 and we had a minimum number of meetings required each week which increased with each stage of the program. I found that the choice of meetings can make a huge difference in the experience. My favorite group was a very blue collar and very down-to-earth group. It was called a "Rule 62" group and I never felt any pressure to be spiritual.

When I was 5 months sober I moved about 200 miles away. I tried one AA meeting but didn't feel it was a fit. I had been using this web group for several years and so used posting here instead of AA. If I felt at serious risk, I wouldn't hesitate to look further at AA and other f2f groups.

Now i check in every day on the 24 hour daily thread here, post in the one year and over group and still post in the Under one year thread. Occasionally I also respond here in Newcomers. This is working well for me.

tomsteve

i didnt feel crap of spirituality with step 2 and 3 either.not only that, 2 months in i was still a wreck. wth could i expect to feel after years and years pouring alcohol down my throat?
all i did with step 2 is say," yup, theres a power out there that can help me."
step 3 i turned over my will and my life
and continued with the rest of the steps.
THAT is when sprituality starting appearing and THATs when i looked back and saw it all along.


why not work the entire set of steps before walking away?
it seems it would be like saying," that steak wasnt good. i cooked it partially like i should have, but im just not gonna eat steak anymore."

and that pressure is internal. open up to your sponsor and therapist. be honest and tell them how you feel about the spirituality. bring it up at ameeting. it would be a great topic.

madgirl

What is IOP?

Saskia, I googled "Rule 62". Well I want to sign up for THAT group

RDBplus3

My understanding and experience with Steps 1,2,3,4 ...

Step 1 - I realize my life is screwed - by my addictive drinking / drugging, by my life situations that are out of control - and 'I' can't stop drinking / drugging - and other people certainly haven't been able to fix me - I have proven that I am powerless in my present condition and circumstances to fix my drinking and life situations.

Step 2 - I have come to believe that there are people in AA, many of them, that have the same 'condition' of drinking / drugging behaviors, and the resulting consequences and horrible state of Pitiful & Incomprehensible Demoralization that repeated drinking / drugging causes in me - however, they are FREE from it, and are actually experiencing life being Happy, Joyous and Free, even in the midst of challenging Life Situations. They have convinced me there is a Power that works thru the Steps of the Program that brings that change in them. They call it a 'Higher Power', which I personally call God. At Step 2, me coming to believe this, does NOT fix me. It just means I have come to believe it has worked in the people that tell me so, and I BELIEVE THEM.

Step 3 - I make a decision to Work the Steps which these people in AA tell me brought about the Miracle in their lives. At this point, WHATEVER I now believe, or have been believing, OBVIOUSLY can't fix me, or I wouldn't be where I am in Step 3. In Step 3, I MAKE THE DECISION to allow the 'Higher Power / God' they say works thru the Program, to do a NEW WORK in me as I WORK the remaining Steps of the Program.

So ... There is NO being 'Fixed' at Steps 1, 2 and 3 ... How could there be? I have only come to the realization I believe this has worked, and DOES WORK thru doing the WORK, which I haven't done yet. The MIRACLE of inner change happens as I DO THE WORK of Steps 4 thru 12.

PLEASE ... ask around, and Pray for, a Sponsor that will take you thru all the Steps, someone that can tell you their life has had a Miracle change thru working the Steps. I also highly suggest to do Web Searches for Recovery Speaker Messages - there are many and most are free. Especially listen to Messages that target the Steps, and start at Step 1 messages and proceed all the way thru the Steps with Recovery Messages.

I am posting this because I KNOW the Miracle that happens, from Step 4 thru Step 12.

RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous and FREE ... and I KNOW U can B 2.

Anna

There are many options other than AA and many of us here have found long-term sobriety in a variety of ways.

For me, I have depended on SR since I found this place. I always find inspiration here. I also have depended on books and I work to keep balance in my life. I have also reconnected spiritually with my soul, which for me is not necessarily about religion.

Recovery is how you choose to do it and as long as it works for you, that's great.

madgirl

Thank you Anna

Soberwolf

Not sure if you have read this

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

Or this

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

I hope they help

gallen37

Thanks everyone... I'm still kind of in sponge mode for lack of a better word.

I'm not giving up on AA, just really exploring other options. My local AA schedule is always close at hand.

A recovery plan is a great idea.

Saskia

IOP is "Intensive Outpatient Program" - sorry I didn't specify! Yes, I loved that Rule 62 group. Besides Rule 62, the motto seemed to also include not pushing anyone to share and not being dogmatic. I really looked forward to that one :-)