Dee74

I never had any problems with music but certain TV shows bugged me for a while.

Like others have said, it really wasn't the music or whatever but I was at a point just short of acceptance.

The thought of never being able to listen to music in your case, TV shows in mine would bring on major fomo (fear of missing out) and fear - and would stoke that 'maybe I can drink once in a while' mind dialogue..

Things got better, with time and change. Nothing triggers me now like that.

If you have to stop listening to certain music for now, s'ok - its likely not to be a permanent thing.

strategery

One of the first things I started doing in early sobriety, was Friday night zumba. Several of the songs were (and still are) very heavily focused on drinking to excess to where it was a bit uncomfortable at first. However, I now associate those songs with doing zumba and the drinking aspect doesn't cross my mind.

thomas11

At the moment, I am keeping things very simple, and if music must be eliminated, I'm ok with it. At this point, I have to be, it will trigger me into a bad place. I have no doubt.

BlissWithin

Does this happen with music you never heard before? The only way music changed for me when I got sober is that now I can't listen more than 2 songs in a row, also I tend to put in a comfortable volume. A very different scenario from listening to loud music for hours like I used to.

fantail

Have you tried seeking out new/different music that doesn't have associations? I'm trying to find new music right now so I mostly listen to playlists on Spotify. That's a good way to try new stuff out.

Sometimes I have to temporarily drop a band or album because I heavily associate it with something I don't want to think about it (usually a ex, sometimes a place or time that I miss). Then after a period of time has gone by, if I really miss that music, I'll make a point of only listening to it in small doses when I'm in a really top notch mood. Over time I disconnect it from the old memories and I can listen to it again. Like strategery's Zumba experience, same/same.

thomas11

Is the inference that it is not the music, but rather the addiction?

thomas11

Hi BW, no it does not happen with new music. But I don't really listen to new music. My musical tastes vary greatly. From GnR, to Elton John, to Jimmy Buffet to No Doubt. All over the board.

thomas11

Had a solid night's sleep, only woke up once. Appetite is good. Workout rotation begins today after a day off. Knees acted up a little as we had a cold front come in (down to the 30's overnight). But I have to accept that, its going to happen.

On a side note, this last week was very productive. I reached out to many people from my past in the professional world. It was great to talk to them. I will admit, I called these folks for a purpose and that was to get advice and the word out, but they are also people I consider friends. So that was nice.

Pajanickah

I'm suffering from benzo withdrawal. Every time I cut back my intake my brain screams at me to drink. It's horrible. I've been on an off again on again alcohol relapse after almost two years of sobriety. It's a tricky thing. Recently just went through a week of non stop drinking. Today I'm stopping..again. hopefully I can get myself together. Alcohol withdrawal is easy for me, but benzo withdrawal is in a league of it's own. I'm constantly anxious. I think about the worst scenario etc. It's non stop. I've found that stopping with the booze first helps because you're bringing in 2 elements of anxiety at one time.

As for the music thing. I absolutely get it. I would love to listen to music every time I got drunk. When in initial quit drinking, it took me a good six months for it tonight trigger my thoughts of drinking. Now I'm back in that same pattern. I'm taking 9 weeks off from my job to travel the country, taper slowly off the benzos. It's gonna be hard, but I have to do this in order to get my life back to peace.

Hang in there man. I'm right there with you. Enough is enough and I'm there! I'll pray for ya! -Nick

Aellyce

I have this, too, not only with music but a few things that I associated with drinking and the links remain. It's a phenomenon known as "cue reactivity", you can look it up on the web, Jeff. I experience it very strongly with certain pieces of music so I avoid those now after my relapse because they trigger me. What you brought up is a good example for how triggers work in addiction, it's the result of a learning process and sometimes it can be reverted with time and exposure in the absence of substance we used, other times quite stubborn.

Do you ever have the experience that sometimes if you hear old music that were associated with significant events or feelings in the past, simply hearing again brings back the feelings intensely. This is how emotional memories work, the desire for a drink is also that.

I would also suggest to look for new music or/and change the way and context how you listen to music. I am pretty sure there is plenty of good music you have not heard yet, maybe something to explore even just for the sake of a new experience?

EndGameNYC

Originally Posted by EndGameNYC
It's not the music.

The inference is up to you. The implication here is that our history and our attitudes with and towards things like music is what can keep us shackled to the feelings and behaviors we associate with the music.

When I very gradually found myself free of the desire to drink, there wasn't, and hasn't been, very many people, places or things I needed or now need to avoid in order protect myself from what people refer to as "triggers." With that, there are people, places and things that renew older, unwanted feelings related to older events. Though I'm open to the possibility that doing so could be transformational in a good way, and for the longer term, I wouldn't want to revisit the houses in which I grew up and in which my mother was an active alcoholic; nor would I be comfortable revisiting people and places with whom and wherein I experienced my greatest personal failures or loss, with a couple of exceptions, such as my ex-wife from many years ago.

As many people have acknowledged here over time, as an alcoholic, I too carry my triggers within me. With untreated or unresolved alcoholism, this would likely always be the case for me.