Hello
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Your words would be magnificent ylajali if they weren't so filled with pain. You sound angry and hurt and even though I don't know you I feel angry and hurt on your behalf.
I'm sorry, I don't have the magic way out for you. I struggled to get out for years. I finally am sober after a month in rehab. I only have two months under my belt, but I feel better, I do, even if I did't think it was possible.
You say you have tired everything, rehab included. It is worth trying everything again. You don't have to do this to yourself. It is not glorious in any way. It is not just your family you are hurting, but I think you know that.
There is still hope.
I'm sorry, I don't have the magic way out for you. I struggled to get out for years. I finally am sober after a month in rehab. I only have two months under my belt, but I feel better, I do, even if I did't think it was possible.
You say you have tired everything, rehab included. It is worth trying everything again. You don't have to do this to yourself. It is not glorious in any way. It is not just your family you are hurting, but I think you know that.
There is still hope.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 283
there is nothing romantic about what you are doing. you came to a sobriety forum. drinking poison is not indicative of a greater understanding. your mother doesn't understand what you are doing, because what you are doing is killing yourself. you have free will. if you choose to sink you will sink. if you choose to live you can live.
taking the intellectual high-ground over those who offer help is not helping you. there are no points to be scored here.
you dismiss melting your oesophagus and bleeding to death as if it were a trifle. to you, it may be (and your thinking is skewed by addiction) but to others it is a life-and-death struggle. i think you know it is for you, too.
step out from behind your words. face the future. there is another way. it is braver to survive.
be well.
taking the intellectual high-ground over those who offer help is not helping you. there are no points to be scored here.
you dismiss melting your oesophagus and bleeding to death as if it were a trifle. to you, it may be (and your thinking is skewed by addiction) but to others it is a life-and-death struggle. i think you know it is for you, too.
step out from behind your words. face the future. there is another way. it is braver to survive.
be well.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Originally Posted by chickippo 
there is nothing romantic about what you are doing. you came to a sobriety forum. drinking poison is not indicative of a greater understanding. your mother doesn't understand what you are doing, because what you are doing is killing yourself. you have free will. if you choose to sink you will sink. if you choose to live you can live.
taking the intellectual high-ground over those who offer help is not helping you. there are no points to be scored here.
you dismiss melting your oesophagus and bleeding to death as if it were a trifle. to you, it may be (and your thinking is skewed by addiction) but to others it is a life-and-death struggle. i think you know it is for you, too.
step out from behind your words. face the future. there is another way. it is braver to survive.
be well.
taking the intellectual high-ground over those who offer help is not helping you. there are no points to be scored here.
you dismiss melting your oesophagus and bleeding to death as if it were a trifle. to you, it may be (and your thinking is skewed by addiction) but to others it is a life-and-death struggle. i think you know it is for you, too.
step out from behind your words. face the future. there is another way. it is braver to survive.
be well.
Beautifully and compassionately said chickippo.
ylajali, you are absolutely right to be ferociously angry right now, but be sure to direct that anger in the right direction- at your addiction.
We are here to help you fight the good fight against it. We are not geniuses at getting sober, we just did it. If we can, you can too. I guarantee you are not the only one who has seen the depths of hell. I guarantee you are not the only one who thought that suffering was enticing. We are a group of alcoholics just like you, some of us soccer moms with a little bit of a wine problem and some of skid row addicts who have suffered in ways you couldn't possibly imagine. This is not a competition. It we can offer support, we will. If we can offer advice, we will. You may feel you are above tips like "eat some ice cream instead" or find that much to sunny and cheerful to contemplate right now, but if they helped us, they could help you. What can we do for you? The fact that you are here is a good sign, please stay with us. There is always hope and you sound smart enough to realise that.
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