wpainterw

Recently I had dinner with an old friend who considers himself a wine expert and demanded to know why I was not drinking the wine he had chosen. I said that I didn't drink and he wanted to know why. Was I am alcoholic, he asked. He'd done the same thing seven years ago and it upset me then and it upset me now. He had said, "Don't be afraid to admit it. I know all about alcoholism!". That made me even madder and reminded me about a family member who once said at cocktail time, "And what will you have, GINGER ALE?" (He'd also said that he knew more about homosexuality than any person in the room! Even without practical experience along those lines.)
People who boast about how much they know about others and how "understanding" and "tolerant" they are really get me going, What business is it of theirs? It's none of my business to worry about what they think. My business is not to drink. Period.

W.

Anna

You're right, Bill. Comments like your friend made are condescending, if not rude. Maybe your friend needs to feel he is better than you, and poking at you like that is the result. As you said, it's best to let those comments go and carry on with your life.

Dee74

There are know it alls everywhere

I would have said you'd told him that 7 years ago, and you were worried that maybe he was showing the first signs of alzheimers?



D

bluedog97

I very familiar with those types of people. Certain people consider themselves "authority" figures on certain things. I've found alcohol tends to be one of those things. It happens in recovery too. I've got a sister who thinks she knows everything about recovery. I can barely stand to discuss it with her.

Someone told me if I go around someone everyday, and everyday that person pisses me off, I need to stop going around that person. Sometimes it's hard to avoid, but maybe the only solution because they're likely not going to change.

Weatherman77

A good, all-purpose response to outrageous statements like that: "Wow."

MythOfSisyphus

I hope the words of dolts like that run off you like water off a duck's back.

ALinNS

Unfortunately we seem to run into these people, I have a brother like this even though he doesn't drink, I take the high road, grin and bear it, I just change the subject or walk away. To me I know what I know and that is all that's important in my recovery journey.

Andrew

Notimetoloose

What an insensitive tool...I was sent to wine appreciation course at 17 years of age.
The industry is rife with alcoholism but the subject is taboo.
It has been my experience that the know it alls usually know very little, except how to boast and brag...the more you know the more you realize you don't know.

maverickspoint

For as long as there has been man on Earth there has been bloody idiot know it alls. I understand your frustration but honestly you are better off laughing at their ridiculous sense of self righteousness. I f some one genuinely asks me why I don't drink and I know they are doing it with respect I give them a dignified response. If they act as your friend does I just say something like 'I turn into a swamp creature if I drink' and stick to that story. It winds them up and is very immature but it makes me laugh :-)
I'm a Vegan too so I get questioned all the bloody time!!!

kinzoku

People are really insecure.

It's crazy what sets people off.

I used to think people would have to be more sensitive around me, its the opposite. I have to be more sensitive around others.

"No I'm really totally okay with you drinking, drink as much as you want!"

I have to say that so often. People eventually get used to it. But they feel like you are judging them.

It's the same reaction I've gotten on extreme diets.

D122y

I work w people that all think they are geniuses.

I can relate to wise guys.

We are stuck w them.

If a person has to routinely show off how smart they are, it is a sign of insecurity.

We don't drink because it causes brain damage. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out.

Don't worry about that fool.

Mountainmanbob

It's hard to be friends with someone so very full of themselves.
MB

tomsteve

hopefully you can get to a point when this occurs,laugh and reply,"oh really? do tell."

ScottFromWI

I think it's also important to remember that we were all "know it all's" at one point in our lives too when it came to our addiction. We didn't need help, we had it all "under control", or so we thought.

Your old friend was certainly acting insensitively, but maybe there was a reason hidden that you didn't see. We can only control our own behavior, right?