I want an accountability thread
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Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 3
Originally Posted by Babescake 
I drank a glass of wine tonight and I'm mad at myself. I can be sober several days in a row and several nights a week (more than I'm drunk, always been the case). But I know this is progressive.
Not drinking ever again is still so daunting and I'm weighing stuff still (stupid, I know), but I'd really like to do a month thread to prove I can last 30 days. This will also coincide with my 11th wedding anniversary (June 11), and I think would serve as a great gift to not only my husband, but myself as well.
Can you all encourage me and help bump up this thread? Thank you in advance, and I'm sorry if not appropriate.
Not drinking ever again is still so daunting and I'm weighing stuff still (stupid, I know), but I'd really like to do a month thread to prove I can last 30 days. This will also coincide with my 11th wedding anniversary (June 11), and I think would serve as a great gift to not only my husband, but myself as well.
Can you all encourage me and help bump up this thread? Thank you in advance, and I'm sorry if not appropriate.
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 394
My "trigger time" has come and gone so I can successfully say Day 1 complete. That is not a big accomplishment for me though, as I'm not a daily drinker. Putting together several weeks will be harder, but I know I will be immensely proud.
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Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 258
Good work!! Wednesday is a huge trigger day for me, mondays and tuesdays, I'd do well, but then Wednesdays always fall apart. Today, i made it. These forums are a great place to hang around and get some insight and perspective. Keep coming back, you've got this!
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Location: MN
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Hi babescake, that trigger time take awhile to get past. I believe it varies from person to person. It is very true what people say about the more time that goes by the easier it is. Unfortunately there is no magic trick to get over it, you just have to do it. And you can.
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Join Date: Jan 2016
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Day two done for me. I'm sick with a bad cold today (ugh, my poor throat), so I'm in bed the rest of the night reading and sleeping. I hope to feel better soon to start exercising. My eating is good, so seeing some weight loss before the end of the month if I stay off the booze and increase my activity level would be a great incentive.
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Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 258
Originally Posted by Babescake
Day two done for me. I'm sick with a bad cold today (ugh, my poor throat), so I'm in bed the rest of the night reading and sleeping. I hope to feel better soon to start exercising. My eating is good, so seeing some weight loss before the end of the month if I stay off the booze and increase my activity level would be a great incentive.
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 394
Even though it is only mid-afternoon of Day 3, I can successfully say I won't be drinking. Going a few days or more is never hard for me anyway (more of a binge drinker), plus I was just diagnosed with strep throat so I'm not even leaving my house. My bed, Kindle and TV are my friends right now. When I'm sick I never have the desire to drink anyway. I'm more just antsy and bored from feeling under the weather, but not having enough energy to be active. Hopefully my family and I can venture out one day this weekend. Thanks for checking in and good luck on the weekend everyone!
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Midwest, USA
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Day 4 done. But utterly spent. Husband, because I'm sick, and my depression and being sick is acting up, is pissed at me and told me he wants a divorce again. Go through whole fight cycle, me with shame, him hating me. He's now since calm but I can't do this anymore. God I hate my life.
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Today is handled. Hoping for a less dramatic week. Like I said, I can go many days without drinking, no problem. It is sustaining that pattern that will be the toughest. Right now is good though. Stuff more calm with spouse, slowly starting to get over my illness (ugh), and the desire to have a good, productive week. Let's do this sh*t! 
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Join Date: Jan 2016
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Still going strong. I'm only logged into on my home desktop, but I have checked the boards every day, typically from my phone or ipad. I've been sick and I'm SLOWLY recovering so that has actually helped. I'm just excited to be getting over this horrible virus.
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Join Date: May 2016
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Excellent!! Congrats! Keep posting for us each day. We want to know how you're doing. I'm on here every day since I joined last week. And it keeps me going. (In a different way) I'm on the friends and family thread a lot.
I'm so sorry your husband is talking about divorce and that there is turmoil. I don't know, but for me, when I get close to (but never have) making a threat like that, it's just desperation talking. It can be hard to actually sift out why we feel the way we do. Emotions are tricky things. It takes a lot of intropection and energy to really cut out the truth and only express that core piece of how we feel. I don't want to make excuses for him, I want to tell you he shouldn't be saying that. If he wanted to leave he would have by now. He wants to be with you. He is just afraid of the drinking. Afraid of the bad things that happen.
My ABF doesn't ever say he's going to do a couple days sober or a month or anything. He just does. He is similar to you in the way he drink HARD and then sometimes goes a few days without. (I think that's what j read you post. Sorry if I'm wrong) well the point I wanted to make, when he starts a sober period, I feel a mounting force of anxiety and fear. "When is he gonna get wasted again?" "When I get home tonight, will I see that he has bought a bottle?"
It's a bit like a volcano itself. And sometimes I say the wrong things too. I hate myself for it. I know what he's going through is tough. As Im sure it is for you too, if not more so!
Keep us posted!
I'm so sorry your husband is talking about divorce and that there is turmoil. I don't know, but for me, when I get close to (but never have) making a threat like that, it's just desperation talking. It can be hard to actually sift out why we feel the way we do. Emotions are tricky things. It takes a lot of intropection and energy to really cut out the truth and only express that core piece of how we feel. I don't want to make excuses for him, I want to tell you he shouldn't be saying that. If he wanted to leave he would have by now. He wants to be with you. He is just afraid of the drinking. Afraid of the bad things that happen.
My ABF doesn't ever say he's going to do a couple days sober or a month or anything. He just does. He is similar to you in the way he drink HARD and then sometimes goes a few days without. (I think that's what j read you post. Sorry if I'm wrong) well the point I wanted to make, when he starts a sober period, I feel a mounting force of anxiety and fear. "When is he gonna get wasted again?" "When I get home tonight, will I see that he has bought a bottle?"
It's a bit like a volcano itself. And sometimes I say the wrong things too. I hate myself for it. I know what he's going through is tough. As Im sure it is for you too, if not more so!
Keep us posted!
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