Day 3, first post. Need your help if you have a minute.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Texas, US
Posts: 2,478
Day 3, first post. Need your help if you have a minute.
Hello to all. This is my third day of sobriety. I live in Texas, U.S., am female, still have a good job but I can tell that things will drop off quickly. My world seems to keep getting smaller; work and drink and little else. Nothing terrible happened...but there is a gloom around, you know? I feel trapped. Suffocated. I don't want to experience this type of life anymore.
I have had long stretches of sobriety in the past, so I feel very sad to be in early days again. I am trying not to think too much about how it used to be, and what went wrong since I am very raw and tired as it is. This is so painful. Maybe I am lucky and blessed?
I just want to get through the first weekend. My whole body hurts, I am shaky and very down. By this time of night I would have had 3 beers, on my way to 10 or more. Sitting with my work buddy/drinking buddy that I waste so much time with. She is further along on the alcoholism spectrum and gets very belligerent or dramatic. I caretake and just keep hanging around. I have the same disease....no telling what I would be like in the future.I can't hang around her anymore. She isn't really my best friend. I've basically abandoned all my friendships in favor of this one. Now I have to lose this one.
Everything else has faded away, or is on its way out; hobbies, interests, ideas...you know? I can't stand the dull nightmare of being an alcoholic anymore. And that will become a sharp nightmare. I am done. I feel very alone so I thought I would reach out to another sober sister or brother now. It's Friday night..first one sober in a long time.
That was long, but thank you for listening. I look forward to reading more here. I am sick but I am not hungover. I really like what I see so far.
Red
I have had long stretches of sobriety in the past, so I feel very sad to be in early days again. I am trying not to think too much about how it used to be, and what went wrong since I am very raw and tired as it is. This is so painful. Maybe I am lucky and blessed?
I just want to get through the first weekend. My whole body hurts, I am shaky and very down. By this time of night I would have had 3 beers, on my way to 10 or more. Sitting with my work buddy/drinking buddy that I waste so much time with. She is further along on the alcoholism spectrum and gets very belligerent or dramatic. I caretake and just keep hanging around. I have the same disease....no telling what I would be like in the future.I can't hang around her anymore. She isn't really my best friend. I've basically abandoned all my friendships in favor of this one. Now I have to lose this one.
Everything else has faded away, or is on its way out; hobbies, interests, ideas...you know? I can't stand the dull nightmare of being an alcoholic anymore. And that will become a sharp nightmare. I am done. I feel very alone so I thought I would reach out to another sober sister or brother now. It's Friday night..first one sober in a long time.
That was long, but thank you for listening. I look forward to reading more here. I am sick but I am not hungover. I really like what I see so far.
Red
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi and welcome Red 
SR really helped me turn things around. There was something about having a place where I was not only welcome but understood. It really helped.
I know we can help you too - it's never too late to start on chapter two
D
SR really helped me turn things around. There was something about having a place where I was not only welcome but understood. It really helped.
I know we can help you too - it's never too late to start on chapter two
D
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Welcome to SR, RedBerryJuniper, from a fellow Texan, and congratulations on choosing to lead a better way of life in recovery.
There is some amazing support to be found here, and it's available 24/7. I hope you'll become an active participant. The more you give, the more you'll be open to receiving. This first post is a wonderful start.
I highly suggest joining the Class of May 2016 thread found on this same forum. It's a great way to learn from and help others who are newly sober.
Wishing you the best today and it's wonderful to meet you!
There is some amazing support to be found here, and it's available 24/7. I hope you'll become an active participant. The more you give, the more you'll be open to receiving. This first post is a wonderful start.
I highly suggest joining the Class of May 2016 thread found on this same forum. It's a great way to learn from and help others who are newly sober.
Wishing you the best today and it's wonderful to meet you!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Texas, US
Posts: 2,478
Thank you both so much, Thomas and Dee. I'm so glad to be here, instead of what I would normally be doing. It's painful, but it's real. I guess if I do nothing but hang out here and soak in the tub that will be enough? Yeah--I just don't want to drink. And get to feeling a little better. Day 3
Thanks again
Red
Thanks again
Red
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 242
Hey there!
You are not alone! So many really good people here 24/7...
Why not watch a movie tonight and lose yourself for a couple hours... I have been doing that lately. There were so many that I didn't see .... AND they ones I saw .. well I don't remember because I was buzzed or fell asleep half way through!
Have a nice evening.
EZ
You are not alone! So many really good people here 24/7...
Why not watch a movie tonight and lose yourself for a couple hours... I have been doing that lately. There were so many that I didn't see .... AND they ones I saw .. well I don't remember because I was buzzed or fell asleep half way through!
Have a nice evening.
EZ
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Red, I can feel the pain in your words and I remember well how miserable it feels. But, you've done it before and you know you can do it again.
I, too, gave up all my friendships, hobbies, pass times so that I could focus on drinking. I know for sure that you will be able to do this and to find the life that you want and you deserve.
I, too, gave up all my friendships, hobbies, pass times so that I could focus on drinking. I know for sure that you will be able to do this and to find the life that you want and you deserve.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,243
Welcome to SR from another Texan. Your definitely in the right place, the support here is fantastic. Congrats on taking a step in the right direction by posting. Just remember that you can do it and your life will indeed be so much better!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
It's so good to meet you, Red. I think you'll find that posting your thoughts will really help. This community understands and relates to what you're going through - like no one else can. You're never alone.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 98
Very glad you are here. I am on day 17 so a newbie as well. I had ups and downs but feeling good now. . Do you have any sober support? I am not into the AA world but I enrolled in outpatient treatment and found it hugely helpful to talk to other addicts and discover that we all share that weird history of self-islolating, bargaining, shame, rationalization, cravings, etc. Quitting on your own is doable especially if you can find support on line but it can be lonely too so reach out. Take care of yourself.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas
Posts: 1,736
Just wanted to say howdy & welcome from yet another Texan. I'm so glad you joined our family.
Your pain is palpable but the good news is it's never too late. You've tasted sobriety before. It still tastes as good as it once did - trust in that.
Your pain is palpable but the good news is it's never too late. You've tasted sobriety before. It still tastes as good as it once did - trust in that.
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