I'm defeated , Again
Tom, thank you for your frank & helpful post. It took me way too many years to admit I could never be a social drinker.
I'm glad you came back & told what happened. I hope it lightens your load a bit & lessens the anxiety. You're among friends who understand and care. We've all been through it. You sound ready this time!
I'm glad you came back & told what happened. I hope it lightens your load a bit & lessens the anxiety. You're among friends who understand and care. We've all been through it. You sound ready this time!
Welcome back Tom
That voice is at its most seductive when it tries to convince us we could handle one or two now. After all, we've been sober so long...
I confused abstinence for control many times.
I hope if nothing else this time cemented the difference for you too
D
That voice is at its most seductive when it tries to convince us we could handle one or two now. After all, we've been sober so long...
I confused abstinence for control many times.
I hope if nothing else this time cemented the difference for you too
D
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 1,518
Update on how it went last night and this morning its 09:30 here in chilly Edinburgh . Ok so I slept from just after midnight to 04:30 and all I felt was panic and fear . I knew I had that little bit of vodka and the crazy part of me downed it ,of course I felt a bit better and got another 2 hours sleep only to wake up with more of the same feeling of dread and panic . Tried to think my way out of it ,be calm . The dry wrenching started along with all the usual shaking and sweating . What was all I could think of ? more alcohol, the craving was overwhelming .I tossed and turned like this till 07:30 and all I focused on was the shop opens at 10:00 ( to sell booze) . In my desperation I texted my wife who is in her room ( for medical reasons we have our own rooms ) if she could please please give me some vodka ( she is an occasional drinker ) ..... Long story short and only to save me bouncing to the shop in our village she gave me some so here I am tapering I hope with the 35cl bottle . I know I know how insane this is . What do I do , my mind seems to not let me off this poison .
I ate a decent breakfast but I think that was just to let the Mrs see i'm at least eating . I'm trying to find that bit of inner peace so I can get back on track .
Thanks for listening
I ate a decent breakfast but I think that was just to let the Mrs see i'm at least eating . I'm trying to find that bit of inner peace so I can get back on track .
Thanks for listening
Last edited by hpdw; 05-07-2016 at 01:55 AM. Reason: typo
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 167
When we stop drinking, the first few days are hard and it feels so unbearable. I have been there many times and felt like I was never going to be free from the chains of alcohol. I know it feels so hard but you will feel so much better once you get through the initial withdrawal.
I promise you that while the first couple of days will be difficult, you can do this and it will get so much better and easier. Stay strong!
I promise you that while the first couple of days will be difficult, you can do this and it will get so much better and easier. Stay strong!
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Join Date: May 2016
Location: TX
Posts: 235
Sounds like a good plan. Post as much as you need to and prepare yourself mentally and physically for Day 1.
Thomas I admire your brutal honesty. I feel so much for you starting again but you do have it in you. I'm only on day 4 and each day so far has taken all my fight to get through.
You might not know it but you're post serves as a big help for us newbies in that how quickly we can get back to facing day 1. Even after months. I'll show my AV your post often when it's getting cocky.
I wish you all the best I really do 😊
You might not know it but you're post serves as a big help for us newbies in that how quickly we can get back to facing day 1. Even after months. I'll show my AV your post often when it's getting cocky.
I wish you all the best I really do 😊
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joandmelandhan thank you so much your reply and empathy your post touched me deeply as many do here .
At this moment I,m not in the best position to advise . Well done for day 4 .
I have been honest all the way and I,m gald you say ive helped in a way .
I got too cocky to well too forgetful about the first drink and that first drink no matter how you kid your self " I will be ok " will take you to a worse place than before .
No place to advise right now but thanks so much your post has lifted me
At this moment I,m not in the best position to advise . Well done for day 4 .
I have been honest all the way and I,m gald you say ive helped in a way .
I got too cocky to well too forgetful about the first drink and that first drink no matter how you kid your self " I will be ok " will take you to a worse place than before .
No place to advise right now but thanks so much your post has lifted me
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